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Yes indeed, so far are signs are promising for gratification down the road, happy me :-)

Emma, That's a very good blog and much of it reminds me of my own past experiences. I was content at first to wear underclothes under male clothes, and then later on to cross-dress more completely but with no make-up or wig. I hid it all from my wife. You've read my first blog regarding telling my wife, so I won't repeat it here, but I have taken a long while slowing down what I knew in my heart would happen and still has to happen, complete gender change, my wife has known that I have been Trans for 3 years now and in that time I have slowly increased my femininity, without coming out as a full-time Trans Woman, It was only on Decmeber 3rd last year that I came out in the full-time femme role, or as some would call it pre-op transexual. I love my wife dearly and by taking my time it has allowed her to adjust to my becoming to all intents and purposes a woman. So please take it slowly with your wife and don't let it dominate discussion and interaction with her. Softly softly catchee monkey. My wife said to me the other day to not let my Trans thing become a disability, what she meant was that she still wanted me to do all the things that I used to do as Steve, but now as Eve. Good luck with hugs, Eve

Strange how support never comes from where you expect it, and springs up from places you never would have imagined. I don't mean to talk bad about your family, but I think your older sister is quite like many older sisters - they can be real b*#$%^s. That's why I was glad I never had one. Well, I do - a half-sister. But we did not grow up in the same household. And I'm glad. So, maybe it will just be her that will be a problem. If the rest of your family come around, her issue with you won't be so bad. I wonder if she's just stalling or blowing you off though (on behalf of your mum) considering she said she didn't want you around her kids until your "changes are made and final." Maybe she too, will be okay with you once you are transitioned. And yeah, like Emma said - you are Warren. Heck, even I cringe when I read your birth name. Not that it's a bad name. It's a fine name. For a girl. But I know how much I hate having to write my birth name. And to me...it just seems that all guys would be the same.

This isn't the first time I've heard similar from a fully transgendered woman! It's something to look forward to in the future!

I would never purchase discounted items for that exact reason and will not purchase something that looks like it has been opened :-)

Hi Warren, I'm sorry to hear about the difficulties with your family. Support is so important and so many don't get enough from the people in their lives that matter most. I hope that you won't give up on your family, sometimes acceptance and support take time. On the bright side, I'm happy for you that work is going well. KML

Thank you Emma:) I do know of Brynn Tannenhill and saw her speech. I think it was called "I Am Real." It was so inspiring and helped reinforce my attitude about facing critics with understanding, patience and education. I remember one things she said, "If you wrestle with pigs, you get dirty and the pigs like it."

Dear Warren, Yes, you're Warren to me but I like RenRen too. You most definitely have my and I'm sure our support here. You can take that to the bank as an old TV show character used to say. Please keep writing, airing your thoughts, and I hope we can help by providing feedback and listening, I mean that. I'll write more later, Emma

I suggest that you Google for Brynn Tannehill's wonderful speech that she gave last fall to (I can't recall the exact group) a transgender conference. Also, Lynn Conway, who has an excellent website that provides a lot of detail on her transition and past. She's a very well recognized engineer and leader of the development of VLSI chip technology.

I had one friend on Myspace whom inspired me in how she lived her life on her terms, other than that I never really followed any of the known people who are trans. I do applaud those out there publicly that are trans.

Hi Emma & Karen, Thanks for your comments re trans violence, yes it has happened in the UK, but not in the numbers reported on the internet in the USA. We are a smalll country so we can expect fewer instances, not sure if the percentage of total population who are Trans is any different or not though..... With regard to Karens point of no return comments, I have been on oestrogen for two and a half years now, so my equipment is not functioning as a normal males would! GRS? yes please I want it to complete my transition if not for any other reason. I had made the decision to transition many months ago, however the new passport bought back some slight mixed feelings, it was as if it rubber stamped my decision.............. I hope that this explains my feelings and situation.., Eve

She sounds amazing Emma. It sounds like you found a good therapist. Good luck:)

Hi Karen, As I wrote in today's blog post I showed the chart to the therapist with my areas of congruence highlighted. She immediately recognized it as coming from Harry Benjamin's classic "The Transsexual Phenomenon." I had already provided her with fairly detailed email descriptions of me and what I'm going through as well as having attending her support group twice, so she already has a good idea of where I'm coming from. That said, I felt that the highlighted chart provides a helpful communications "yardstick" and confirmed what I'd told her. So it was all good, thank you. Emma

The above advice is sound, and I see that you've already gone for counselling. I'd also add that going to Trans venues can help, not sure where your local ones are but those that I regularly attended in Birmingham UK, helped me a lot, being with a lot of other transgirls sort of normalised my inner feelings, and then allowed me to progress. Best Nursery School ever!

Update: tomorrow I have a private meeting with the therapist who runs the TG Support group I've been attending. She has over 40 years experience with transgender people; I'm very fortunate to have found her and that she's available within about five miles of my home. I've printed out a copy of the table you posted and highlighted the items that are most in agreement with what I am/feel/do to provide her with a quick way to get a more broad sense of what's going on for me.

My guess is this is a gauge for professionals to start with and there is variation to all cells in the chart. Before surgery I classified myself as group 3 but was caught within a hybrid of type 5 and 6, kind of a meld with slight differences. So I would think it is safe to say many will have the same feelings as me, not quite fit one or another but indeed there.

I'd like to add some thoughts but I'd first like to acknowledge that I know you intend for this chart to be helpful and informative. Perhaps it is for those who qualify for the Group 2 and Group 3 classifications. And perhaps too it helps me to see that I am within Group 1. That said, I find myself feeling kind of hurt when I read that one is "true" or not within the confines of those boxes. Maybe it's silly to be feel that way but I do. I don't see myself fully described within any of the columns under Group 1. This doesn't mean I am not "true" anything. I am valid in and of myself. In my career I have often created such charts for marketing, engineering, and customer classifications, to help understanding and management. So I understand that this chart is valuable to therapists and others new or interested in transgender people. At least it gives them a framework to start developing an understanding. But it is the only the tip of the iceberg and I think it's important for future readers to understand that.

Salem, I'd really like to hear more from you at TG Guide. You write with a sensitivity that resonates with me. Thank you! Emma

We need to take care of one another. If we don't who will? No one deserves to die, but I won't sit back and pretend that this senseless death has done any good in the world. With her intelligence, she could have gone on to do great things. She is not my concern at this point, anymore than anyone that I have loved that has moved on. My concern is all of us still here. She matter(ed) and we still matter. We need to take on our 'siblings' and protect each other, but also to hold one another accountable for our actions. If we don't, more good kids will die alone. I wonder if Leelah was crying as she saw the headlights of the semi-tractor. Was she ready? Did she have second thoughts too late? Was she already feeling comitted like she couldn't back out because her letter would post before she could get back to it Did she fear retribution of her family more than she wanted to live? Did pride give way to a straight road to death? There are so many unanswered questions. Things we will never know.. I don't have the answers. I just know we need to love each other, more than we do.

Appreciate your heartfelt response to Leelah. The transgender community needs to stop the self-destructiveness. Suicide is NOT the answer.