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Hey Ren, Yeah, I like that name too. It's less formal than Warren, but thats a cool name if you prefer. It's your choice, like I know guys that go by David or Robert, instead of Dave or Rob or Bob. Anyway, you've always been Warren for me... I'd like to start on the positive. How about work, huh? Look what you have done! I hope you have some pride in that. You deserve it. I hope also that you feel as special as you are when you hear your masculine name called. And, total kudos to your BF and you. It says a hell of a lot about he feels for you. He's a good guy or at least is trying to be. I hope you and him can hunker down and cheer each other on, be partners and best friends. It's so important to have a relationship like this. I love hearing about you and him. Okay, now the more difficult: family. Let's face it, we all bring a heck of a lot of emotional baggage and history, and our families want us to be a certain way, mostly so they can feel good about themselves. It's your life, Ren. I know it hurts a lot to not feel their love and support, and I am sorry about that. But: you be Warren. By being Warren, showing them that you're a kind, caring, and strong man, they will either come around... or they won't. You cannot control them. Consider the serenity prayer: change what you can and work on the wisdom to identify and let go of what you can't. It is hard, I am not kidding. But it is the path, maybe the only path. Also, try to enjoy the moment. Screw what went wrong in the past and worries about the future. What matters is what is in front of you now. Go give your BF a big hug and a kiss. I'll bet he needs it too. Hugs, Emma

I told of coming out to my wife in My Journey so far , it was my first blog on 30th Jan. I'll send you a direct message tomorrow morning GMT with more detail, in the meantime goodnight, time for zzz's Eve

Hi Eve, I tried to find your blog entry regarding your telling your wife but didn't find it. I looked through a couple but not all so maybe I missed it. I agree with taking it slowly. A couple of months ago I was in a frenzy as I assumed that I had to come to some serious conclusions soon or else my wife might split up from me. Even though she told me that she'd give it a year or so I didn't trust her. I also felt that it would help her if I was able to quickly report "progress." Not really! My quick reports caused a lot of grief, or at least they triggered them. Since then I've taken it a day at a time. And last weekend even though we drove about three hours in each direction to a friends house, we didn't talk about anything related to transgender or what's going on with me. I think that was good as we both needed a breather. At the gender therapists meeting I mentioned that I'd once had a desire to go to a service in Seattle that offers a complete Crossdressing experience for 2-3 days but that my interest had waned. She seemed to encourage me to rethink this but didn't press the point. Last night I was thinking that yes, I may very well go later this year but right now is not the right time especially for my wife. I'm so happy for you that you are able to make your transition and to stay with your wife. The best of both worlds, I'm sure. Hugs to you too, Emma

Strange how support never comes from where you expect it, and springs up from places you never would have imagined. I don't mean to talk bad about your family, but I think your older sister is quite like many older sisters - they can be real b*#$%^s. That's why I was glad I never had one. Well, I do - a half-sister. But we did not grow up in the same household. And I'm glad. So, maybe it will just be her that will be a problem. If the rest of your family come around, her issue with you won't be so bad. I wonder if she's just stalling or blowing you off though (on behalf of your mum) considering she said she didn't want you around her kids until your "changes are made and final." Maybe she too, will be okay with you once you are transitioned. And yeah, like Emma said - you are Warren. Heck, even I cringe when I read your birth name. Not that it's a bad name. It's a fine name. For a girl. But I know how much I hate having to write my birth name. And to me...it just seems that all guys would be the same.

Very well written - no reason someone on the outside looking in couldn't understand these delineations. Goes to show that many who don't see it, or claim not to understand, don't because they choose not to.

Dear Monica, Always there for us with your wisdom and insight. Thank you! Emma