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One of the members here recently was feeling down (I hope that you feel better today:) and discouraged. One of the things was that men are sending her unwanted friend requests and messages on social sites. This is such an annoyance for transgender women and makes us all to aware how we can be objectified as fetish objects by a certain type of guy who don't really see us as real people, let alone women. Sometimes you just get so fed up with it, and at the wrong time, it can really get to you. They all seem to say and ask the same or similar things which can run the spectrum from ignorant, to insulting, to just so creepy that you feel like you need to take a shower after reading them. I'm thinking why not have some fun at these creep's expense. I'm going to list some of the typical things, usually the opening line from a message that I've gotten. Tell me if it sounds familiar and add some of the ones that you've gotten, ok? Of course, I can't include the more X rated comments that I've gotten. 1. You a tranny? 2. I'm curious and want to "try" a tranny, you want to be my first? 3. Do you Skype? 4. Text me. 555 555 5555. 5. Send me pictures. 6. Send me naked pictures. 7. Do you still have "it?" 8. Is 67 too old? (I'm 19) 9. Give me your number. (like I'm going to give a complete stranger my phone#!) 10. Give me your phone number and I'll send you a picture of my..... 11. What are you wearing? 12. Do you have boobs? 13. How big is your.... 14. Hi, do you like me? 15. I'm on he down low, do you want to be my secret thing? (yeah, I want to be somebody's "thing") There are so many more that are probably worse, and many too creepy to say here on tgguide. These are a few that I've heard over and over. On a dating site that I tried recently, some of the user names tell you right up front what these guys are all about. I also can't write most of those here, but for example, how many girls are looking to meet a guy that calls himself "freakdude69?" It can be so frustrating, I so understand why this gets to other girls. At first i was actually a little flattered that guys were (I thought) interested in me, but I got onto what they were about and really got so sick of it. So girls, are there any particularly weird, clumsy, funny or bizarre things that guys have said to you? At least things that you can say here, but nothing to "graphic." Again, I'm leaving out those that are too creepy, sexually graphic or disgusting....which are most of the comments that girls like us get. La la la:))) KML

One of my Facebook friends is my daughter's best friend who posted that she closed the front door and the security latch got wedged into the door preventing it from opening and asked for help. Since I knew she lived closed by I replied with "I will help if you still need assistance". She gave me her address, five minutes from my home. Went over, I knocked on the front door and she came around from the back door. When she greeted me (she had not seen me in five years) no reactions or comments on my new look as female. Looked at the front door, figured out I needed to pry the door and by thinking ahead of time brought a pry-bar with me. Took two minutes to free the door then a minute to hammer a metal strip back into place. Turned to her and said "done", she thanked me and I left. When I returned home she had sent me a private message You look great by the way! I suppose I figured out what your trip to California was about and wow! Congrats on looking awesome!! I guess she then scrolled through my Facebook notes and on one wrote You are so beautiful. Really. Just so you know. More validation for me. Perhaps this might nudge others down their chosen path of transitioning.

It struck me as I was watching BBC morning news, how bizarre it is that same sex marriage isn't allowed in Alabama, why bizarre you might ask? Well I live in Birminghma UK, and we are all aware that a city of the same name exists in Alabama, so? well didn't lots of people emigrate to the USA to escape restrictions on their freedom, escaping to the land of the free? And yet paradoxically in Birmingham UK same sex couples can marry without any bother, the law and police uphold all LGBT rights, there is a lively LGBT quarter on the south side of the city. All my life I have wanted to visit the USA, but I'm not so sure now especially as I'm no longer presenting as a cis male, and the last places I'd want to visit in the world would be the Southern States or Arabia, again how bizarre that the two areas in the world that I'd avoid like the plague are in conflict with each other..................Thank God for Europe. If not all Southern States are similar to lesser or greater degrees, please inform me. Ok you might be thinking more anti-USA crap, not so at all, I'd still love to visit the civilised & enlightened Northern States, New York and San Francisco would be near the top of my list, when I win the lottery! I'd also add that MOST Americans I have met have been friendly and nice people, so how strange that Alabama should want to present itself as the opposite! Last week I blogged that i'd had mesotherapy on my face, and that I'd keep you informed of the progress, the bottom half of my face has improved somewhat but the bags under my eyes are still there :-( However the full effects are said to work after 3 weeks, so there's still a couple of weeks to go, and I'm trying to remain positive! We've booked ferry crossings and camp sites for a visit to holland at the end of April, this will be Eve's first visit abroad on her new passport, totally as Eve, not appearing as male at all, and why should I, I don't appear as male in the UK anymore, I have to keep telling myself I am EVE. That's all for now folks! Eve

Everyone, and I mean everyone, no one is immune, experiences both open (obvious) and closed (not so obvious) rejection in their lives, through all stages of their life, starting in the very earliest years. The reality is not everybody likes and/or loves you, but there will be some who do. The secret is to focus on those who do, and inoculate yourself from those who don't, thus removing their power to hurt you. Examples of open rejection are: Owner of a small restaurant saying they are closed when they are full of customers at lunch time. A person that you thought was 'friendly,' "turning on you," followed by their friends, without cause. A clique or clan excluding you. A doctor writing you a letter saying they no longer want you as a patient, without good reason. A beauty school refusing you service, without good reason. A family member humiliating you in public. A person changing their seat to avoid sitting with or near you. A person sitting in the back of the bus so that they can see you but you can't see them, without turning around. A note left on the soda machine by a tenant moving out calling me a pig, accusing me of drinking all the diet soda (which I rarely drank, but requested the management to provide the diet soda). People making disparaging remarks or noises as you pass by in a public place. Examples of closed rejection are: A big, wad of chopped up fat placed in the middle of my taco. A person urinated on my blanket at the dry cleaners. A person broke ink pens all over my blanket at another dry cleaners. Continuous difficulty in making an appointment at a doctor's office (one "glitch" after another). A party guest deliberately spilling her coffee on my carpet when no one else but me was looking, and when I tried to clean it up, said it was rude to clean it up in front of guests. People turning their noses up at you because they think they are better than you. Your disability questioned by government workers because it is invisible. Ignoring you or looking "through" you, as if you do not exist. The best defense is an offense: remember that this reflects on the hater, and not on you. The best response is no response at all: by not answering back, they end up making a fool of themselves. HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH; YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF!