MonicaPz

Dear Jennifer, I thank G_D I have no children or grand children, and that my nieces.nephews and great nieces/nephews have avoided this rubbish! New York State has avoided this but Florida (where I got my high school junior and senior classes and university degree) has surely gone downhill . . . Yours in Sisterhood, Monica

Jennifer, whatever you do, don't make contact!

Dear Jennifer, Sometimes suddenly passing away is marked by family/friends/lovers (ex's included) dreaming and thinking about them. Her spirit may be trying to contact you to say they are sorry for hurting you, even if it's long ago. They may have harmed many people so they might be contacting each to apologize. My take, anyways. Try to forgive them and tell them to go towards the light. Yours in Sisterhood, Monica

Dear Jennifer, If you met your ex from 20 years ago today, you would be very different people. It would be highly unlikely you would be friends, much less lovers. Her cheating on you shows there is much to be desired about her character. Be grateful that you have a woman who loves you for you! Your friend, Monica

Dear MaryEllen, I agree 💯 👍 percent! I think every school and house of worship should have well trained armed security!! I am 65 and I am amazed what the world has come to. My parents would have spun in their graves!!! Yours in Sisterhood, Monica

Dear Jennifer, School shootings are a daily occurrence! The US has more school shootings than any other country in the world. I don't know what the answer is, but I would probably homeschool my children or raise them overseas if I had children. Yours truly, Monica

Dear More, Emma and Jessica, Please consider the Lesbian community. More, your wife should be open-minded about the Lesbian community. They have a lot of activities. I strongly suggest looking into Lesbian Connection Magazine. Also, Moe, since you have a wife, may I suggest you get active in transgender conferences. They often have significant other (SO) support groups. I am a cisgender mid-butch Lesbian, and the love of my life was a mid-femme transgender Lesbian. Don't give up! Yours in Sisterhood, Monica

Dear Emma, I am sure transgenderism is 100% organic, with no psychosocial cause. When looking for a partner, you want to find a woman who complements you, as well as help you fulfill your needs as a woman. It also goes in the reverse direction, too, in that you want to seek to validate your partner. Your friend, Monica

Girls, a lot of women like to hunt. As for me, I have a "Bambi Complex"! LOL!!

Dear Jessica, There are good and badly behaved people in all sectors of life. Sadly, recently I had to jettison two transgender women and the mother of a trans man because they were abusive to me, thinking I was vulnerable and would take it with a smile. Think of it as that we are all human and have to be judged individually. You may be surprised who accepts you and who doesn't. Don't assume you will be accepted just because you share some characteristic. Your friend, Monica

Jessica, I knew I was Lesbian (and an empath since four years old - although it took decades for me to find the right words. I am so happy you found closure, as I have! Your friend, Monica

Mike, I recently ordered transgender flag pull-apart cupcakes for a group of my transgender and allies friends along with rainbow jello cups. I'm sure your mother would have loved the party! LOL!! On a serious note, your mother and father should rejoice they have a healthy, well put together son! It saddens me when parents have expectations for what their children are going to be. My mother kept trying for a girl, only to get me, as her only daughter, when she wanted a Shirley Temple lookalike. Sadly, we create our own misery . . . Your friend, Monica

Dear Jennifer, Please seek out a transgender competent therapist, I beg you. Yours truly, Monica

Jennifer, we all go through periods where we "hate" ourselves. Maybe a more accurate word is disappointment and disillusionment . . . It' OK to have these feelings briefly, but our health suffers when we hate ourselves. This, unfortunately, is common in today's society, because we feel we have to earn love by productivity. That's not love - that's acceptance. Jennifer, your Higher Power loves you for exactly what you're are at every phase of your life. Yours in Sisterhood, Monica

Dear Mike, Participated in some The Day of Remembrance (TDOR) events, and the sad truth is that transgender murders are at an all-time high (male and female). Friends even warned me that allies are at risk. It breaks my heart there's so much hate in the world. Presently, I am advocating for a Black woman (Straight cisgender) who is being wrongfully accused of something she hasn't done. Mike, you're the brother I never had. I love you, and I thank you for being an advocate for the transgender community and a good son (and brother?) Stay safe. Gratefully yours, Monica

Dear DeeDee, Thank you for sharing your good news with us! Today, Monday, October 11th, is International Coming Out Day. May everybody have a wonderful day today! Yours in Sisterhood, Monica

Dear Jessica, It takes *time* to identify sexual orientation. Sadly, I became disoriented when I identified as "Lesbian," and found that many, if not most, of the Lesbian community despised me, especially when they tried to tell me who I can like and be with (even as friends). Explored being a man for 2 years and realized that I am not transgender. When I had a radical hysterectomy, and my sex drive slowly melted away, I first was a romantic asexual and then moved into a nonromantic asexual. Agree with you that sexual orientation is fluid, as well as identity. An example of an identity transition for me would be that not so many years ago, I identified as a human rights/civic activist. Now I identify as an artist. See who is drawn to you and which friendships evolve into romantic relationships. No longer do I believe in "friendship first," as friendship and romantic love are as different as apples and oranges. Feel free to ask me any questions you may have on this. Yours in Sisterhood, Monica

Dear Phoebe, Highly recommend you ask for referrals from *trusted* people you know well, and be prepared to make the trip, sometimes overseas. This is very specialized care. Wouldn't choose a doctor just because they are local. Suggest you ask our members where they got their care. You'll see the same doctors' names coming up again and again. As for therapists, if you don't feel comfortable and couldn't resolve it with a calm discussion, try another therapist. Hope this helps. 6ours in Sisterhood, Monica

Dawn, I'm looking forward to pictures!

Dawn, I'm not a big fan of the movie, "Avatar," but you did get the costume spot-on!

Dear Crusty and Mike, Terminology is changing in all fields, and, in my opinion, should be updated as we learn more. Life is nothing but a big living curve. Used to be call a "genetic girl," (GG) and now I am called "cisgender." Like cisgender, especially now that I am a 63 year old woman, although I am a big kid at heart, and I call full-grown women "girls," affectionately. Yours truly, Monica

Dear Karen, Have very limited experience on Facebook, Twitter and other social media, so I hope others will add to your excellent advice! Thank you for your helpful suggestions. Your friend, Monica

Dear Friends, Have found a roommate on Fantasia Fair's Facebook page. But now for the better news . . . I just learned today that Fantasia Fair is extending their early bird rate of $510.00 for the week until the end of June! You can pay half to lock in the special price, but, instead of paying half, you can ask them to break it up into thirds. They will be meeting in beautiful Provincetown MA from Sunday, October 17th to Sunday, October 24th. Some meals are included. Please Google, "Fantasia Fair," to learn more. Hope to see you there! Yours truly, Monica

Dear DeeDee, It is hard to tell one child and not another. This happened to me. I was 19 years old and I learned I had a half-brother (and my father was married before). What really hurt was that my youngest brother was told at age 9! And my older brothers even earlier. We became a "secret-keeping family," where I had to "guess" at reality!! Two comments I would like to make: Women can be as strong as men, if not stronger. Just look at all the single mothers out there. Homosexuality and being transgender tends to run in families. Am a cisgender mid-butch Lesbian, and my middle brother is bi-sexual (I suspect he is "all the way Gay," because he married early and truly explored his sexuality in his 40's, and he and his wife are still together because they have long-term serious illnesses and come from extremely homophobic families). In my opinion, when people are living together, if you tell one, you have to tell all, at the level of their understanding. In AA and Al-Anon, there's a saying, "you are as sick as your secrets." This doesn't mean to spill your guts publicly, but to live authentically. Yours in Sisterhood, Monica

Dear DeeDee, Have three brothers and a half brother. Would have given anything for a sister! Yours in Sisterhood, Monica