MonicaPz

Dear Emma, Really resonated to what you had to say. Am in the process of separating myself from my destructive brothers. If I continue to allow them to abuse me, especially in front of the children and grandchildren, I am modeling codependent behavior. Plus, when healthy people observe such behavior, they want nothing to do with me. Also, I live in an a public housing apartment complex for seniors and disabled people. It is amazing how bitter most of them are, hating themselves for living inauthentic lives, leaving behind a broken trail of dreams and relationships. It is never too late . . . As my dear mother used to say, may God rest her soul, "when there's life, there's hope . . . " Yours in Sisterhood, Monica

Dear Dee, Know it's hard, but try to resist wishing your ex ill-will. Suspect she's marrying this guy on the rebound, even though she knew him for a long time. Please follow Emma's advice . . . Your friend, Monica

Dear Dee, Love your finger nails - I love sparkly things (maybe that's why I love Christmas 🎄 so much!) They look professionally done!! It is good you are on this journey single but with good friends (us!) because you do not know where you may end up in this journey. There are a lucky few of us who have had a supportive partner from from start to end, but there are some of us who leave an otherwise good partner because we end up identifying as Lesbian or Straight. In your case, it sounds like you were in a toxic relationship, which toxicity had little or nothing to do with you being transgender. Think of yourself as a 🦋 butterfly, coming out of its cocoon. In due time, you will find the right person to share your life with, who brings out the best in you and you bring out the best in them. Your friend, Monica

Dear Dee, Really love your outfit! Pink and blue always go well together. Think your Season is Spring. Yours truly, Monica

Dear Emily, Am excited for you as you enter another major turning point in your life! Yours truly, Monica

Dear Emily, Love your hair, dress and makeup. There are wonderful tutorials about makeup on YouTube. Search, "makeup tutorials," on YouTube. May I make a suggestion? Consider having a hairstyle that includes bangs to the eyebrows. Think this will flatter your face. You can also search, "hairstyle tutorials," on YouTube, also. You have beautiful skin! As my dear mother, may her soul rest in peace, used to say, "moisturize, moisturize, moisturize"! This weekend has beautiful weather, and I hope everyone is getting out to enjoy it. My love and warm thoughts to you and your wife . . . Your friend, Monica

Dear Emily, Hope you have a trustworthy relationship with your psychologist. Have they told you why they think you are bipolar? Have you considered getting a second opinion? It is common for those who are bipolar (as well as other illnesses) to be diagnosed late in life. If you are indeed bipolar, you will have to take medication under medical supervision. Have known several friends of mine with bipolar respond beautifully to medication. Yours truly, Monica

Dear Emma, Love your new haircut! It really flatters you. About gaining weight . . . almost everybody is gaining "COVID-19 pounds." You're looking good, girl! Yours truly, Monica

Dear Emily and Emma, If I didn't laugh, I'd cry. Rather laugh! Your friend, Monica

Dear Dawn, Now that I looked at my right and left hands again, I do notice an eighth of an inch to a quarter of an inch difference between the two fingers. Will put my hand on a piece of paper and trace my hand to be sure. Growing up, I always was a tomboy, but I also loved dressing up, especially for the holidays. Knew I liked girls romantically, since age four, although I wouldn't know the word "Lesbian" for over a decade. My jury is still out by the finger business, although I wouldn't be surprised if this is proven true. Some could argue that being raised with all boys could have influenced my sexual orientation, but I am dead sure my sexual orientation is organic. Know that sometimes unrelated genes are passed on together. This is called linked genes. Yours truly, Monica

Dear Jessica and Emma, That is why transgender people make such great friends! Your friend, Monica

Dear Dawn, Like Raina, I am confused by the article, which I think is an abstract. In my case, I have always had disproportionately large hands and feet. My trigger finger is even with my fourth finger, and my middle finger sticks out from these two fingers by almost an inch. Am a cisgender mid-butch Lesbian. Yours truly, Monica

Dear Dee, We all have our "wobble moments," but given enough time, the answer will come. A wonderful organization fighting for T/LGB senior rights is Sage. Their contact information is: https://www.sageusa.org Tel: 888-234-7243 Tel: 877-360-5428 Hope this helps. Yours in Sisterhood, Monica

Dear Emma and Mike, Have been in touch with Jessica by video chat, and I can guarantee you, I have never seen a happier post-op patient in my life. Jessica is grinning ear to ear! 😂

Dear friends, A few days ago a friend passed on some information that might be helpful to you and I. This coming Saturday, August 22nd, a generous Speech Language Pathologist and gender voice specialist, Nicole Gress, MS, CCC, SLP, is starting to offer free monthly classes on Zoom, at 10 AM Pacific and 1 PM Eastern times. If you would like to learn more or sign up, here's her contact information: Website: https://letstalk.mykajabi.com/gender-voice-tension-workshop E-Mail: nicole@sfspeak.com Tel: 415-508-7884 May be there myself, as a cisgender woman, because I have a tendency to speak loudly, especially when under stress or in pain. Hope everyone is healthy and safe, as well as taking advantage of all the video chat classes out there! Yours truly, Monica

Dear Emily, The key words are "trustworthy friends" and "a few friends." In my opinion, coming out gradually, starting with a few of your most trustworthy and supportive friends, is best. Unfortunately, I wish I had this advice before coming out as a Lesbian. Listened to some poor advice and just jumped out, which was the worst thing I could do. Eventually, I recovered from my error. Your friend, Monica

Dear Jennifer and Emma, My father was a racist. It was funny - he didn't see Asians, indigenous people, Hispanics, etc. as Black, or people of color. Confronted him as a child when he said the N word. Thanks to the TV series, "All in the Family," he was able to see himself and laugh at himself. Because of that show, he was able to look at himself and let go of racism. Am so proud of my father for letting go of racist attitudes! Your friend, Monica

Dear Emma and Jessica, My mother, may God rest her soul, would give you a vote of confidence. Just now, I can hear her saying, "thank God Monica has made some quality friends, who can help her act and look more like a lady!" My dear mother was very worried who would give me guidance in her place. Gratefully yours, Monica

Dear Emma, A lot of cisgender women could stand to learn how to be a lady . . . Your friend, Monica

Dear Jennifer, The Higher Power knows his name. Am assured my thoughts and prayers will go to the right place. Am also thinking of you, and how courageous you are not only to admit this but to seek to do something about it. Your friend, Monica

Dear Jennifer, You started here at TGGuide. Take one step at a time. Yours truly, Monica

Dear Jennifer, This reminds me of a similar story, but the story ended happier. The man was a white supremacist and part of a white supremacist gang. He had tattoos all over him, mostly with the swastika. He not only apologized to the man he beat up, but he also volunteered to work with a Jewish anti-hate organization. He and the man he nearly killed give talks side by side. He had the tattoos removed and he has to watch his back from his former "friends." Is it possible that you could work with a Gay anti-hate organization? People need to learn the powerful lesson that people can change. Here's a story about a woman who changed: Am sorry, but the link no longer works. You will need to go to my Blog next to yours and access the link from there. The man you abused is caught up in his own inability to forgive. That is work he must do when he is ready. You need to forgive him for not forgiving you and you must forgive yourself. That doesn't mean punish yourself. But it means living the rest of your life doing everything you can to undo the hate. This means seeking out every anti-hate organization, and putting yourself in their service. They may want you to give talks in churches and schools. Hope this helps. Please let us know how it goes. Still your friend, Monica

Dear Friends, First, I learned of a new transgender clinic that specializes in telehealth. Presently, they do not work with any insurance companies, but they are working hard to change that. Do understand they do have a sliding fee scale. Their website is: https://www.transclinique.com Secondly, a local transwoman, who I have known for years shares her amazing life story, showing that real change is possible. She overcame undiagnosed ADHD, abuse at the hands of her parents and teachers, falling into the wrong crowd and 13 years in prison, one of which was an entire year in solitary confinement. Today she has a good job, and a thriving business on the side. The video is a podcast about how she came to have an unusual vanity license plate, before going into her life story. Even though it is 45 minutes long, it is worth watching every minute. Yours truly, Monica

Dear Jennifer, So relaxing watching and listening to your video dedicated to your dog! Your friend, Monica

Dear MichelleLea, Love your sketch of your kitchen. Yes, I, too, live a simple life. Make a game out of how to get the most out of life on the least money. Keep a budget. Today, my girlfriend and I shopped at ShopRite. We were mistaken by the cashier for being sisters. Really appreciate the hard work of the associates to keep the store clean and the shelves stocked. Saving money for my move to Philadelphia PA. Yes, it hurts to go bankrupt but it hurts even more to be chronically in debt. Your friend, Monica