MonicaPz

Dear Jessica, Love your swimsuit! Post-op, you will quickly get your answers. Your friend, Monica

Dear Jessica, In my opinion, this is a joyous moment because when you were baptized as your other gender, you had an error in form, no fault of the priest, because your outward appearance was of the other gender. Feel that we have gender in the spiritual realm. By the way, I also feel angels have gender. Congratulations on your true baptism! Yours in Sisterhood, Monica

Today it poured all day, not just drizzled. Wanted to make the most of my trip and I did not want to stay in my hotel room. Had a choice of visiting the physical Blick Art Materials Store in Seattle or the Seattle Public Library Central Library, but not both. Checked the websites of both, and I chose the library hands-down! Am a library enthusiast, and I fell in love with the library from the moment I saw it from the bus. The architecture was just amazing and the library was just huge, being an 11 stories tall glass pyramid. They had a wonderful coffee house inside. Everywhere there are all kinds of plants. Their contact information is: Seattle Public Library Central Library 1000 Fourth Ave. Seattle WA 98104 Telephone: (206)386-4636 Website: https://spl.org/hours-and-locations/central-library They have very transgender friendly restrooms. Spoke with a librarian for a half an hour (they weren't busy due to the rain) and she made me feel very welcome, not only answering my questions, but volunteering a lot of information that I really appreciated learning. To this day, I miss their library!

Dear Dee, Happy New Year 🎉🎈 and Decade to you, too! Remember, one out of four cisgender women wear wigs and/or hair pieces. You were wise to enjoy a quiet New Year's 😉 celebration with your sister. Interestingly, I almost had Chinese takeout, too! Celebrated New Year's doing a deep clean of my apartment and wishing all my friends a Happy New Year's. Wishing all my friends at TGGuide a Happy New Year and Decade! Your friend, Monica

Dear Emma, Joined TGGuide only six months before you, and I became an unofficial greeter at TGGuide a short time after that. Am not transgender, but I reached out to TGGuide because I had such a positive experience with the transgender community when I lived in Tampa Bay, Florida. Emma, thank you for reaching out to me when I was exploring Seattle, Washington, as a possible future home. Thanks to your friendship, support and encouragement, I was able to survive a very homophobic environment, to the point of making T/LGB face to face friends and fighting for T/LGB rights locally (along with many others) to the point of having a Pride in Poughkeepsie, NY and a Pride ballgame in Wappingers Falls, NY. Without you, Emma, and my other TGGuide friends, I would not only have survived, but thrived in upstate New York! May you, Emma, and all my other TGGuide friends have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Love always, Monica P.S. Can't believe it has been five years on TGGuide!

Dear Bree, Have severe allergies and moderate asthma. Probably I should be sleep tested again. Years ago I participated in a research study to see if acupuncture can help irritable bowel syndrome (it does!) and I found it helped my mental health, too (it made me calmer and more relaxed). Unfortunately, acupuncture is not covered by Medicare/Medicaid. Thankfully, I have always had excellent care (I aggressively advocate for others and myself). Your friend, Monica

Dear Bree, Knew sleep apnea can lead to heart disease, but not depression. Had been diagnosed years ago with borderline sleep apnea years ago. My oldest brother has sleep apnea. As for myself, my youngest brother told me that he never heard someone snore as loud as me, so loud the whole house can hear it. He and his wife actually got up in the middle of the night to check on me. Don't know if it is related, but my dentist but tells me I show signs of grinding my teeth at night. Your friend, Monica

Dear Blackangel, Am concerned that she changed very suddenly from being very supportive to not being accepting at all. Are you aware of what happened that she suddenly changed her mind? There are transgender "warmlines" and "hotlines" where you can talk this through, even though the volunteer operators are not professional counselors. Google "transgender hotlines" and "transgender warmlines." There are books for the significant others of transgender people. May I ask, is your wife speaking with a friend or family member that is hostile to transgender people? Are you friends with other couples where one of the partners is transgender? Having friends with others like this may help her feel less isolated. Having a disability and being transgender is a double whammy. My being disabled and my partner being transgender meant we weren't well accepted by the Lesbian community, but we became close to three other couples where the butch Lesbian was cisgender and the femme Lesbian was transgender. We gave each other a lot of support and socialized together. Would like to invite our members who have experienced their partner who "suddenly changed their mind," or where one partner was transgender and disabled, and the other able-bodied, or the cisgender partner was disabled and the transgender partner was able-bodied. Your friend, Monica

Early Monday morning I looked at my first choice in public housing. Wrote off my second choice because it was three miles from the nearest bus stop and it was a run down house that catered to hippies, on the top of a very steep hill. The third choice was also three miles from the nearest bus stop and far into the boondocks, not near anything. Thanks to my friend, Emma, she researched my three choices before I arrived, saving me long bus trips on my second and third choices, and affirming that it was worth my time to look at my first choice. Met with the housing authority next door, and they were very nice, where they informed me that I was not on the wait list of my first choice. Chances are my application was still in the mail when they closed the waitlist. They told me that in the last year they had only one opening for a one bedroom. Looked at the apartment complex, which was very clean, and the only other positive was that there was a good clinic next door. The downside was that the neighborhood was filthy. The bus shelter across the building had a resident homeless person sleeping there, and it was filthy and stunk. The supermarket across the street was filthy and smelled of rotting meat. The only other good thing was there was a Seattle Light Rail Station a block away, but I was accosted by an aggressive panhandler (the only time this happened during my one week visit to Seattle). What is the upshot of all of this? The Seattle Housing Authority is overwhelmed by the large number of homeless and really does not have the resources for anyone that lives outside of Seattle, which I fully understand. In defense of the homeless, there was a homeless man who lived by my hotel (there is literally a homeless person living on every block in Seattle) and he was clean shaven and clean. Suspect he was an educated and good man who went to Seattle looking for a job and he ran out of resources, landing him in the streets. Seattle is a great place to live if you can afford the high rents and high mortgages. Housing is expensive. Please don't count on public housing, especially if you don't drive. For the rest of my week, I explored Seattle, and I hope to learn all I can, in order to bring back knowledge to my own hometown, for which I am grateful.

Dear Friends, Please don't confuse "self-caring" with "selfish." They are two different things. All of you ladies are talking about self-caring, which is a very good thing! Your friend, Monica

Dear Dawn, On a related subject, large breasts make some men think the woman is "easy," when breast size has nothing to do with character. Have been able to slim down several times in my life, and I have noticed people treating me better when I was slimmer than when I was more heavy. Your friend, Monica

Dear Friends, Keeping it short and sweet is the way to go, along with keeping the lines of communication open. Please say "sexual orientation," rather than the older term, "sexual preference," as Gays (as well as transgender) did not choose to be this way. By the way, sexual orientation is in reference to a person's true gender, which is the one they identify with. Be patient with yourself; it takes time to know your sexual orientation. Yours truly, Monica

Dear Dee, There are also Blogs for SOs who support their spouses during their transition. Am sorry for the SOs who are stuck with their anger and bitterness, and spreading it around the Internet. As for shaving, I wish my mother taught me how to shave! Unfortunately, I shaved for the first time before my prom - and I cut myself up to smithereens, using my father's razor! Attended prom with Band-Aids all over! Still seem to cut myself on occasion, even though razor technology has improved through the years! Oh, what a girl has to go through to look beautiful . . . Your friend, Monica

After sleeping in at the hotel's pillow soft bed, trying to recover from three days riding coach on AMTRAK, I visited "Gay City," Seattle's LGBT Center. Intended to visit for two hours, from 1 PM to 3 PM, the Asexual Support Group, which I found very informative. After the Asexual Support Group, I wanted to visit for two hours, from 3 PM to 5 PM, the Lesbian Social Group, but I had to cancel as my back was acting up on the folding chair I was sitting on. Following the Asexual Support Group, we all walked to a lovely bar/restaurant that catered to young people (but I felt like I fit right in!) The contact information for "Gay City," the Seattle LGBT Center, that I highly recommend you visit, is: "Gay City," Seattle LGBT Center 517 E. Pike St. Seattle WA 98122 Tel: (206) 860-6969 Website: https://www.gaycity.org Highly recommend you give them a call and speak with them about the dates you will be in Seattle and ask what activities are available while you will be there. Also, I highly recommend you sign up for their newsletter a couple of months before your trip. They have an outstanding website. Most of the Asexual Support Group and I took a short walk to a horror themed restaurant/bar called The Pine Box, which was very reasonably priced and had great service. Their contact information is: The Pine Box 1600 Melrose Ave. Seattle WA 98122 Tel: (206) 588-0375 Website: http://www.pineboxbar.com On Sunday, I woke up not feeling well, but it was important for me to attend the Metropolitan Community Church in Seattle, called Emerald City MCC Church. They rented a chapel from the Methodist Church on the campus of Washington State University. Was amazed how many young people crowded the Seattle light rail on Sunday morning! Asked one of my fellow passengers if they were all going to church, and she said no, that there were many activities for young people besides church on Sunday morning! Thanks to the many kind students, I found my way as the Washington State University campus is huge and beautiful. A student told me there were 3 - 4 Methodist churches on campus! Sadly, I don't recommend it, because it is very small (about 2 dozen parishioners) and I found it depressing. Was shocked this was the only MCC church in Seattle, and that it was so small! My friend from TGGuide, Emma, met me at the church, and we took the Seattle light rail to a wonderful seafood restaurant, Ivar's Salmon House. It was rather expensive, but the seafood was fresh and portions generous. The young man that served us was an excellent waiter. The restaurant (and the views!) was beautiful, and the restaurant and restrooms were immaculate. Emma had their Salmon, and I had their fish and chips, both of which were excellent. Their contact information is: Ivar's Salmon House 401 NE Northlake Way Seattle WA 98105 Tel: (206) 632-0767 Website: http://www.ivars.com If you can, I recommend you make reservations, either through the telephone or their website. Make sure you have a good pair of walking shoes, well broken in, as you will do a lot of walking in Seattle! After we ate at the restaurant, we visited the Pike Place Market, where they carry everything, and I mean everything. Was blown away by their fresh flowers of every kind, some of which I had never even seen before! Highly recommend visiting the Pike Place Market. Their contact information is: Pike Place Market PDA 85 Pike Street Seattle WA 98101 Tel: (206) 682-7453 Website: http://www.pikeplacemarket.org A few months before your trip, please sign up for their newsletter. Parking is at a premium in Seattle, so I beg you not to bring your car, and if you must, to leave your car at the hotel, and either way, to use mass transit. We were going to visit one of my favorite artist's, Dale Chihuly, gallery and museum, but I had to cancel at the last minute, as I was "out of gas." A few days later, I did visit his gallery and museum, but I had to use a wheelchair at his museum, which I will discuss later. Was very ill on Sunday, but I am glad I forced myself to get out, as I didn't travel all the way to Seattle to lie in bed. In downtown Seattle, the hills are steep, and Emma had to call an Uber cab twice. Was amazed how clean the car was and how professional the driver was. Before going to Seattle, I strongly recommend you download the Uber and Lyft apps to your phone, because you never know when you need them! Am very grateful for Emma's advice and guidance!

Dear DebraMichelle, Am so proud of you that you nipped an abusive relationship in the bud, and that you did not marry the three other unsupportive ones! There are many good women who are attracted to and marry transgender women, because they tend to be much kinder and gentler. Many will say, "they were so much more different than any other man I dated," even before they knew they were transgender. They knew something was different about them, even before they had a word for it! Bravo for the open-minded judge! Yours truly, Monica

Dear Dee, Really identify with this. Fear of change (younger people and people from NYC moving in), resulted in bullying in my public housing. Management reacted proactively but waited too late, to address it. Now these insecure people have to deal with public housing turning into Section 8, with a more traditional landlord/tenant relationship. Change is inevitable! Whether it is for better or worse, is up to us!! Your friend, Monica

Dear Blackangel, Believe animals were put on this Earth to teach human beings to be kind, forgiving and give unconditional love. There are many broken people who find healing in animals. Learning good animal stewardship should be every human being's goal. Please find it in your heart to forgive those that have hurt you. Don't let them live rent-free in your mind. There are good people out there. Trust in the Universe in finding them. Your friend, Monica

Although I was exhausted, I took advantage of the King Street Railroad Station only being a block away from the offices of Sound Transit to pick up an ORCA card, which is $8.00 per day ($4.00 per day if you are a senior (65 or older), or disabled, which I highly recommend. The ORCA card is good for the bus, ferry, streetcar, light rail, and heavy rail. Bought eight days, and it is loaded onto one card, and I can not recommend it enough. Much better than paying cash, and you save a lot of money to boot! Their contact information is: Sound Transit Union Station 401 S. Jackson St. Seattle WA 98104 Tel: 1-888-889-6368 And the ORCA customer service, at the same location but different telephone number, which is 888-988-6722 Please call them and ask for them to send you information in advance. If you are a senior, be prepared to show them your Medicare card, if disabled, ask them to send you their application to prove your status as a disabled person, which is a short, easy to fill out, form. In my case, instead of mailing it back to them, for fear of it getting lost, I brought the filled out form with me. They are the warmest, nicest and most knowledgeable people. Their customer service, over the telephone and face to face, is outstanding! Took the Seattle light rail to the Angle Lake Station (you can't miss it - it is the last station at the end of the line!) to my hotel. When you exit the train, you need to walk back (towards where all the hotels you saw on your way over). Just a heads up - it is a 1/4 to 1/2 mile walk, even though the hotel's advertising told me it was a tenth of a mile, but it is well maintained sidewalk all the way. Make sure you have a Google map of the hotel as you will be approaching the back of the hotel. Looked at fifteen hotels through Trip Advisor, and because the gentleman at their Visitors Center recommended that I might not want to stay in Seattle itself, where the hotel prices are very expensive, he recommended I stay in a nearby city only five miles away, called Sea Tac. The hotel, Quality Inn SEA TAC AIRPORT, gives a generous discount for those with an AARP membership (I just told them I am an AARP member over the telephone). They didn't ask for my AARP number over the telephone or ask to see my AARP card at the hotel. They had an even more generous discount if you are over 65. Found they were the best budget hotel for the money of the fifteen I looked at. The room and bathroom were immaculate and comfortable. Slept like a baby on the bed. The linens were immaculate and soft. The room was newly renovated. They offered a free good breakfast every morning. The hotel has an immaculate van to pick you up at the airport or the Angle Lake Seattle Light Rail Station (please tip about $5.00). Their customer service over the telephone and at the front desk is excellent. Their contact information is: Quality Inn SEA TAC AIRPORT 2900 S. 192nd St. Sea Tac WA 98188 Tel: 1-855-850-4666 When I arrived at the hotel, as exhausted as I was, I told the hotel manager I was starving, and if he had any recommendations nearby. He recommended a casino that was kitty corner to the hotel. Told him I don't gamble, and he reassured me that a lot of non-gamblers ate at their restaurant. The food was outstanding, the service warm and attentive, and the portions huge! Their name and address is: The Silver Star Casino 19222 International Blvd. Sea Tac WA Tel: (206) 824-2304 Website: www.seataccasino.com Although this was a fact-finding trip, I really enjoyed the trip. Riding the AMTRAK train was a vacation in of itself, and I made sure I enjoyed Seattle (and their seafood)!

Dear Dawn, Love your picture. Think this is an important dialogue for women, as we live in a fat shaming culture. Your friend, Monica

Dear Dawn, The average weight of women in the US is 169 pounds and average size is 16. Worldwide, the weight and size of both men and women is increasing. Obviously, fat distribution varies between men and women, but to varying degrees. We all can recall in high school some girls (even Straight girls) being mistaken for boys, although boys in high school were rarely mistaken for girls. Hormones that control fat distribution kick in between age 12 to 17. Of course, as we age, the fat distribution can change radically for some, such as myself, due to adrenal burnout. Then, the dropping off of hormones during the senior years make many seniors androgynous. Knew a heavy butch Lesbian who, at 75 years old, if you threw a suit on her, could pass for a man. The major shapes of adult women are proportionate, pear, apple and box. Am box shaped myself. Look nothing like my younger years (I am 61, almost 62). How do I deal with this? Do the best I can to eat a healthy diet, exercise (walking) as much as I can, although it is very hard for me to lose weight, and it gets harder the older I get. How do I cope with this? Accepting others of all sizes and shapes, and celebrating the diversity of the human form. Finding the best cut and color of clothing that flatters my body shape and personality. Dawn, you are a beautiful person, both inside and out, and I view you as an athletic, but feminine woman. Your friend, Monica

Dear Dawn, To me, the major determinant as to a person being a woman or a man is behavior. In high school, I had a Straight girlfriend who was 6'4". Also in high school, I knew a 3'8" man, who was also Straight. Have known men and women of every shape and size, of all genders and sexual orientations. Heavy and fine bones are found in both men and women. Ultimately, I look between the ears as character is all-important. Dawn, I find you very ladylike. As for myself, I was accused as being butch on the outside and fem on the inside, when what I really am is a well-mannered mid-butch Lesbian. Think we should strive for consistency in behavior, while leaving room to grow. Behavior should steadily change for the better as we grow. Your friend, Monica

Dear Dawn, Felt very safe when I was in Seattle, but I kept everything daytime (and I sense most others did, too, Gay and Straight) because most activities at the Seattle LGBT Center, were in the daytime. Think you could be openly T/LGB, such as PDA (public display of affection, such as hand holding) only in "Gay City," a neighborhood that the LGBT Center was located in. Only now am I catching up with my Blog, as I got serious ill (from a pre-existing condition) and it took me a month to recover, and I am still seeing specialists about it. Your friend, Monica

Dear Friends, On the train ride from Poughkeepsie, NY to Seattle, WA, during the night, I encountered two beautiful cities at night (Cleveland, OH and Minneapolis/St. Paul, MN. In between these two cities, we passed Milwaukee WI where I encountered many huge warehouses (3 - 4 city blocks on each edge) the largest of which was an Amazon Distribution Center. Also passed a huge Miller High Life beer plant there, too. Met wonderful people on the train, including a best selling Western author and a rodeo champion. Stopped briefly in Chicago, (Union Station) where they had a large food court (and lots of business - as I realized many people wait for hours for a train! Will not ride coach for three days again - that's a young person's gig, although I saw plenty of other seniors (many older than me!) riding coach for days at a time! Didn't take pictures because it was pitch black. Want to give you contact information for AMTRAK . . . 1-800-AMTRAK. Can't say enough how great their staff were and that the train was so clean! Yours truly, Monica

Dear DeeDee, About your exercise, first you will lose water (not inches), then you will lose fat (and inches). May I make a suggestion about eyewear? Try to go to a physical store where you can try on frames as DeeDee, even if you have to go out of town to do it. Try to avoid frames that are above your eyebrows and wider than your face. Ideally, your frames should be even with your eyebrows and even with your face length-wise. Hopes this helps. Your friend, Monica

Dear Emma, Sounds like your wife was a drama queen. That is how I describe people who live marriage (and life) crisis to crisis. Glad you have found peace in your authenticity! Your friend, Monica