MonicaPz

Dear Tilly and Christy, Significant others/wives who have been married for years have invested greatly into the relationship/marriage, and they fear they will never find love again. Their ultimate fear is to be alone for the rest of their lives. When you transition, your significant other/wife transitions with you, as well as your children, and, to a lesser extent, your friends and coworkers. Your friend, Monica

Dear Confused, Please be slow to separate. Is there a guest bedroom where you can sleep? Separation is not permission for infidelity, but for an opportunity for each partner to clear their minds. It should only be undertaken after careful discussion by both partners, and, hopefully, counseling. Please keep us posted. Yours truly, Monica P.S. Do you want for us to call you Tilly?

Dear Friends, Have attempted "conversion therapy" many years ago at the behest of my mother, may G_D rest her soul, as she was a devout Catholic. There was eight of us in the group, and all eight of us returned to homosexuality quickly and permanently. Am sure if the group were transgender people instead of homosexuals, the result would have been the same. Almost all of the gender conferences have excellent significant other (SO) support groups. These groups are almost always all women. These wives and girlfriends validate one another. They learn they are not alone. Please look into it . . . Your friend, Monica

Dear Christy, Your mom's aunt was picking up on your feminine energy, although she probably couldn't put her finger on it or words to it. Yours truly, Monica

Dear Anunitu, Loved the music and how the lyrics was presented on your link. Take your time becoming comfortable where you are before exploring further. We all long for human (sexual and nonsexual) and animal (pets) touch. When it comes to friends and lovers, you will know when emotionally safe people enter your life. Your friend, Monica

Dear MichelleLea, Jessica and Christy, We all should be striving to have many LAYERS of support. It felt great when a well meaning friend recently recommended a church that was not good for me. After I looked into it, and then I returned his call, I could honestly thank him for reaching out to me but was able to tell him, no thanks, I have MANY layers of support! Can't emphasize enough about doing your research and NETWORKING with others to both give and receive resources and information. Thank you all for being wonderful, supportive friends! 😊 Yours truly, Monica

Dear Confused, We are here for you 24/7. Someone is almost ALWAYS here to listen! Your friend, Monica

Dear Christy, Would love to see your list, if you are comfortable. Feel all you ladies are helping many more than you will ever know! 💄👑👒👗👙👠👡👢👚👜👝👛 Gratefully yours, Monica

Dear Christy, You're right. Don't want to derail Dee's thread either, and I appreciate you starting a new post, so that I can enjoy BOTH threads. You girls know how to get me going! Your friend, Monica

Dear Christy, Would like to ask you the reverse: If somebody could flip a switch, and reverse time, where you were BORN a girl, but never were a boy, would you? Why or why not? Your friend, Monica

Dear Emma, If it isn't too private, would you mind sharing it with us? Think it would be a great example to the rest of us on making up our own. Yours truly, Monica

Dear Jessica and Emma, Jessica, I have been to Saratoga, NY, years ago, and it was beautiful. Focus on making ONE friend at a gathering, instead of "working the room," especially if you are the newcomer. Once you are established in an organization, you can offer your services as a "greeter." Had to learn this the hard way. If you make even one friend, you have won. It is quality, not quantity. Emma, I am not sure if I understood this right, but where you accompanying a girlfriend to a medical exam, and later, got together to talk about it? Sadly, I have to go to the dentist and doctor alone (I am the queen of medical and dental cowards!) and a great way to make friends is to be available to give a friend support visiting the doctor and dentist. Yours truly, Monica

Dear Blackangel, Please PM me some of your work! Am sure others are interested, too! Your friend, Monica

Dear Blackangel, If you were crying writing this, I want to let you know I am crying READING this! You truly have a gift for words! Have you considered writing poetry and/or short stories? This story is DEFINITELY worthy of being PUBLISHED! You may not be able to make a living as a writer, but people surely can BENEFIT READING your words! Am ONE OF MANY who are grateful you are still here! Your friend, Monica

Dear Jessica, Am so glad you reached out to so many others, because often it is so painful to sit alone surrounded by so many people! Volunteering helps you to be at the CENTER of things, and I recommend it even for first timers! Yours truly, Monica

Dear Jessica, Am so glad you had a great experience, and I hope it is the first of many! Like you, I agree most strongly that the nuclear and extended family, in all its forms, is the foundation of society. Without strong family units, a society can't stand for long. Really admire you for making the most of First Event! Yours truly, Monica

Dear Jessica and Christy, Thanks for not saying "old," but "senior," instead. Am 61, but pass for 50, even late 40's. Feel I have a mindset of a 40 year old. Never have been to a live fashion show. Almost went to one at Fantasia Fair in Provincetown, MA, but I got sick at the last minute and I had to retire early. Looking forward to attending a live fashion show in a month at the Keystone Gender Conference, and I will make sure I don't overeat beforehand! 🤢 Jessica, enjoy! 💄 Yours truly, Monica

Dear Jessica, You and your friend Linda would be surprised how many cisgender women deal with baldness (usually receding hairlines, bald spots and general thinning of the hair!) Me included on all three forms of balding in women!! Your friend, Monica

Dear Jessica, You are going to make life-long friends at gender conferences. Hope this is the first of many! Yours truly, Monica

Dear Jessica, You may be experiencing "blue fog," which often happens at the end of a gender conference. It will pass. Over time, "blue fogs," will become less frequent. Yours truly, Monica

Dear Frank and Friends, Whether you groom your own nails or have it done at the salon, be sure to practice good nail care daily. Check for chipping and breakage daily, use nail conditioner regularly, and file and buff your nails as well. Be aware your diet can impact your nails as well as health issues, such as low thyroid (thinning and chipping), so observe your nails regularly. Yours truly, Monica

Dear Friends, Am a cisgender Lesbian, and depending how I feel and the task at hand, I will "present" differently. Think EVERYONE is like this. Your friend, Monica

Dear MichelleLea, Glad you responded so thoughtfully, as I try to answer all questions that come my way, too. Wish you said, "my non-curvy 6' body," as you at as much a lady as I am. Know many cisgender ladies, short and tall, WITHOUT curves, and, they, too, are as much ladies as you and I. Your friend, Monica

Dear Blackangel and Emma, Rejoice that you both not only survived, but THRIVED. Am sorry that such people could be allowed to become parents. Sadly, this is much more common than people want to acknowledge. Blackangel, I beg you to get counseling about this, as these people still seem to have a lot of control over you. Your friend, Monica

Please look for transgender support groups. There should be one no more than a couple of hours drive from you. There is a list of transgender support groups by state on the TGGuide home page. Also, transgender conferences are a great resource. Again, there should be one within a day's drive from where you live. Again, they are listed on TGGuide's home page. While I'm at it, the members of TGGuide are of all ages, are kind, supportive, and knowledgeable. Please consider starting by reading all the Forums and Blogs. Feel free to leave a comment or question. When you are comfortable, having your own Blog, inviting others to comment, will encourage other members to reach out to you. We are here for you! Monica