MonicaPz

Rejoicing your co-workers are so supportive! Am so proud of them!!

Dear Eve, Am so glad you are finding closure! Yours truly, Monica

Dear Warren, Think you have turned around the corner! Am proud of you, brother! Yours truly, Monica

Dear Karen, The "ignore" look is when they look right "through" you, as if you are invisible, or when they look at you briefly, then snap or jerk their head away, wanting to make sure you get the message they are ignoring or snubbing you. You are on the right track! Yours truly, Monica

Dear Warren, If that is not male energy, then I don't know what is! LOL! Am so proud of you!! Yours truly, Monica

Dear Karen, Congratulations on your discharge! Yours truly, Monica

Emma, I love "The Sound of Music," and my favorite song is "Climb Every Mountain." Believe that the song is all about squarely facing our struggles. Agree 100% with the essay!

Dear Karen, Unfortunately, women spray. That is why I hate it when a woman does not take the time to put paper down on the toilet seat and sit on it when she urinates. The ones that hover over the toilet seat, leaving a mess on the seat and floor for the next woman to clean up irkes me! LOL!!

Dear Karen, Please call the doctor, and if you are not comfortable doing that, ask to speak to the nurse. It may be par for the course, but better to err on the conservative side. Am surprised they are allowing you to stay at a hotel with a catheter. Hope your friend is with you at the hotel. My prayers and thoughts are with you! Yours truly, Monica

Dear Karen, You are wise to look at the big picture, having done your research, and to avoid being being penny wise and pound foolish! Your friend, Monica

http://www.etsy.com/ Dear Warren, Etsy is a great site to sell handmade goods. It is the largest in the world. Suggest you explore the website to get ideas . . . and Amazon sells books on how to sell on Etsy. Warren, there are many men who make beautiful jewelry. Take a look at Etsy's "success stories," and you will find many of them are men! Wishing you the best. Yours truly, Monica

Especially early in life, it is difficult to tell tomboys, butch Lesbians and transmen apart. This demands that parents and other caring individuals develop strong observational skills and to learn all they can about parenting. Parents and other caring adults, such as aunts, uncles, great aunts and uncles, grandparents, teachers, and coaches help the child build a foundation that will serve the child for the rest of his or her life. The tomboy cycles rapidly between male and female energies and behaviors. She does not feel acute stress when an occasion calls for feminine attire/behavior, such as wearing an Easter dress on Easter,etc. The tomboy is often heterosexual and grows out of it, sometimes as late as high school or college. She may have a boy's nickname, sometimes only at playtime, or when playing sports. Often a tomboy does this in an effort to gain male privilege. Occasionally the tomboy grows up to be a butch Lesbian. The butch Lesbian may have been a tomboy earlier and acknowledges feeling "different," or a romantic attraction to girls (crushes) at an early age (often age four or even earlier), but these feelings become stronger during puberty and often she becomes more masculine as she ages. However, she never hates being a woman, even though she may dress and act very masculine, and does not seek gender reassignment. The butch Lesbian may be able to stop homosexual BEHAVIOR, but the desire is always there. They have been known to marry and have children, due to family and societal pressure.Often she seeks the company of heterosexual men as friends and work mates, but dislike other butch Lesbians, with whom she sees as competition for the attention of feminine Lesbians. Obviously, she seeks romantic relationships with feminine Lesbians. Butch Lesbians are NOT about gender but about SEXUAL ORIENTATION. The transman, like the butch Lesbian, and the tomboy, feels "different" at an early age, age four, and sometimes earlier. The transman adamantly demands to dress in boy's clothing, have a boy's name (not a nickname!) and questions why his body does not look like a boy's. A transman is ALL ABOUT gender, BUT can be ANY sexual orientation in relation to his TRUE GENDER, the gender he identifies as being (internal gender). A heterosexual transman may have mistook himself as a butch Lesbian prior to learning about the concept of transgender. During this time he may have had trouble "connecting" with the Lesbian community. A note to parents: On the surface, the behaviors of a future tomboy, butch Lesbian and transman are remarkably similar. One must become familiar with your children and develop excellent observational skills, especially at playtime, when a child feels most free to be themselves. One wants to support your child into becoming an healthy adult, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, without inadvertently encouraging a child to become something they are not. Being a parent is the hardest and most important job you will ever do, but will also be the most satisfying.

Just don't feel clean with unshaven arm pits. How else can my deodorant would make contact with my skin to do it's work?

Don't know if you ladies know this, but I was taught by a fitter the proper way to put on a bra is to bend over at the waist and drop your breasts into the cups. Firmly agree that EVERY woman should be professionally fitted for her bra at least once a year!

There has been an argument in the Lesbian community for decades about whether transwomen are the same as cisgender (born female) women. The argument goes, "the transwoman has not suffered GROWING UP in a misogynist (woman hating) society." My answer is that it takes courage to transition from a man with male privilege to a woman in a misogynist society. So, BOTH are to be commended. In both the cisgender woman and the transwoman, I sense the female energy, that they BOTH had from birth suffered, but in different ways. They are both women, and as such, they should give each other support as women. A corollary to this would be a person with epilepsy and another person who is a paraplegic in a wheelchair, very different disabilities, one may have been born disabled and another became disabled as an adult, are also both disabled and should give one another support rather than nit-picking who is more disabled, or even if one is disabled at all. The upshot is that we are part of the human family and we should celebrate our differences rather than let them drive us apart!

Ben, have you brought this up with your supervisor? Leadership is from the top down. If he/she takes a stand, then the others will get in line. Another possibility is to start looking for work elsewhere, maybe a LGBTQ owned and/or operated business. Good luck. You deserve the best!

RachealDenae, I feel that the transgendered are among the strongest people I know, and I am very familiar with the entire LGBTQ spectrum. Strong people are neither independent (I don't need anyone!) or dependent (constantly seeking reassurance), but INTERDEPENDENT, recognizing no one is an island, that everyone sometimes needs help and also has the obligation to reach out a helping hand on occasion. You are wise to be here at TGGuide, as most of the people here are trustworthy, and ALL the moderators are definitely trustworthy. My experience with TG support groups has only been in Tampa Bay, Florida, but found them to be a very positive experience. Think everyone needs a mix of online support as well as face to face support. It will take time, but it will be well worth your while to explore this website, even posts that are several years old can be informative and useful. Do come here every day, if you can. We care.

Dawn, women are given permission to wear men's clothes (ie, jeans, T-Shirts, athletic shoes) more often than men are given permission to wear women's clothes. Have a male friend in his 30's who has very fine bone structure, and I notice he makes great effort to be very masculine in his dress and grooming to avoid these kind of misunderstandings. Seems like you are a very mellow woman who knows how to handle it well - - - you don't take personally comments that obviously are not made in a mean spirit.

Warren, you are in the right place. Here there is no pressure to be transgendered, only support to find the truth, which is inside you. Highly recommend you find a face to face support group as well, which are on a link on the home page. This is a big website, so take your time going through it, and you will be surprised how every aspect of being transgendered is covered. It is a tightly moderated website where the moderators are kind, gentle and fair. You will find a supportive, emotionally safe and friendly space here. Glad to see you here! Welcome!!

Jenni, you seemed to have survived a toxic family and wisely found supportive people (I call them "anchors") who were there for you. Good luck with your HRT.

RachelDenae, You are in the right place. Would speak about this to as many TRUSTWORTHY people as possible, starting here. This is a very emotionally safe space, tightly moderated by kind moderators. Country folk (I won't use the impolite terms) often act out of fear because they do not have the opportunity to live in a cosmopolitan, more open-minded area. If it would bring you a chuckle, not long ago had to show a man from Texas who wore a ten gallon white hat and cowboy boots how to ride the subway in NYC! Transitioning or coming out (as in my case as a GG Lesbian) often means going from one kind of family to another. Also came from a toxic family. Am grateful for the family members who were not toxic (thank you, Aunt Edie!) and ignore the rest. Please do not let them be your judge and jury. Do not give them power by hating them. You WILL find healthy family and friends. You deserve good things in your life. Suggest you ask yourself, one person at a time, do I feel good when I am with this person and do I feel better after having been with this person than before I met this person? Please watch for repeats of CNN's "Lady of Valor: The Kristen Beck Story," which shows how she and her family struggled with the emotional issues of her transition. RachelDenae, we are always here for you!

Karen, deeply moved by your blog. First, I would like to tell you that you look lovely in your picture. Second, I would like to comment about smell. As a GG Lesbian, have interacted with all kinds of people. Have observed that women like different smells than men. Women like floral smells. My Gaymale friends do not like the body odor of women, not even Lesbians. Very heavy butch Lesbians like fragrances that are not floral and very fem Lesbians like more floral fragrances. This is just my opinion. Even though I am a mid-butch Lesbian, I still like my floral fragrances!

Alexis, your post reminds me of the wonderful experience I had at King of Peace MCC (Metropolitan Community Church) in St. Petersburg, Florida. Felt totally loved and accepted, as well as everyone else. Wish I could clone that church!

Ben, years ago I was advocating for a Genetic Man who had a deformity of his penis. I went to a medical library and men walked behind me, aghast, as I visited two medical websites about men's penises. They were talking about men's penises "within normal limits." Was amazed at the different sizes, colors, etc. In short, Ben, and although I am a GG Lesbian, most Straight GGs, transwomen and Gaymales will agree, it is not the size but WHAT A MAN DOES WITH IT. In my opinion, I think it could be too large, and a man could experience prejudice because of it. This is what concerns me when people have too many romantic partners - - - they may be overly concerned with the physical and not enough concerned about their partner's character and values. Oh, by the way, the man I was trying to help those many years ago, I recommended that he see a doctor experienced in male urology. Felt there was something organically wrong with his penis. Sadly, he had to approach me as his friend, as a grown man, and his parents MUST have known, and were in denial! For that, I thank God, you have good relations with your parents and a supportive relationship with them. Also, you have many caring friends here on this website. Ben, you are an excellent asset here, too.

Ben, thank you for the uplifting post. I, too, have mixed feelings about Walmart on many levels, but here they stepped up to the plate! Know you will be an excellent representative of Walmart, and with your strong work ethic, you are going to be a valued employee. Hope you may want to become part of the management team in the future!