Leaderboard

I'm not exactly sure what to say word-wise, but I can only express that I am excited for you that you're starting to see your true self in the mirror, and it's coming from within.

Since I had both electrolysis and many tats (and proud of them) I can say without a doubt that tats hurt more other than the upper-lip.

Thanks for sharing Lisa. I do hope that both you and your wife can come to a common ground and if not, well perhaps you can be close friends. There is no sugar coating it but do wish you the best.

I just did a quick search of "electrolysis vs tattoo pain" and it seems the consensus is that tattoos hurt more, which is encouraging. I have 4 tattoos, they certainly hurt, but not enough to stop after 1 :-)

Go for it Christie, you're correct about worrying about passing, I worry less and less and I don't mind if people know whether I'm Trans or not. I've just learned to be myself and I seem to fit in with society at large. Can't really wish for much more than that, ..............can I? other than that you also get to do the same. Cheers, Eve x

Karen we have (or used to have) a TV show in the UK called Trinney and Susannah who used to give women a make over and clothes advice. They have written a book called what not to wear, this is a book showing what sort of clothes to avoid and what to wear for various different body shapes. "what not to wear" by Trinney Woodall& Susannah Constantine ISBN 0 297 84331 1 published by Weidenfeld & Nicolson It may e out of print now but should be available from a second hand book seller. Cheers, Eve x

Dawn, that's an absolutely awesome entry, it's not often that I hear so much happiness in a blog. I see so many similarities with myself. I truly feel the same way about the anti-trans pills....ugh horrible thought ! I was also 55 when I ditched my shame, and started to become myself, and there's no way on earth that I'm going back to be male, female is ssoooo much better, like coming out of a monochrome world and entering a technocolour world. Hugs Eve x

Hi Lisa, I had to go through all of that WAIT - no - We (my wife and I) had to go through all of that, and skipping the middle to now, we are together and very strong in our commitment to each other keepig our marriage strong. Ok the begining and the middle bits; I took up courage to tell her about my cross dressing 4-5 years ago, we were both pleasantly drunk, and she said oh that's great we can go shopping together in London you can be my mate, great I thought. The next 2-3 days was however like living in Siberia, she had obviously had time to wonder why I needed to do this, and thought that perhaps she wasn't adequate enough to meet my needs (which wasn't the case). I had another wardrobe purge, she also didn't aprove of my doing that either. several months later I purchased more clothes, and she was ok about it. Several months later I developed gynecomastia (it's a moot point whether this happened naturally or due to phyto-oestrogens - tea tree oil, lavender, and puerarai mirifica - my take on it is it's the latter), this was diagnosed by docters. at the same time by, coincidence a couple who were very dear and close friends also came out to us as he was part time Trans. This seemed to brighten my wifes perspective on my Transness. We arranged a photo-shoot at our house, but my friend was a lot less tranny tart than I was, and also a lot more convincing, anyway we had a fun evening together. A couple of weeks later whilst we were out together (the 4 of us) my wife suggested us going out to a local Trans meeting at a LGBT bar in Birmingham, so she was strating to get properly on-board with the idea of the new me. She was ok about my going out as Eve on our holidays, I did this in Berlin and the following year in Munich. She was happy enough that I was part-time. However as many others have found out the genie is out of the bottle and expanding. I got prescribed to oestrogen aftert surreptitiously self medicating with Premarin. We had by this time a fair few Trans friends some of which were full-time. I had to go to Charing Cross Gender Identity Clinic (CHX GIC) in London for appointments, but kept the fact from my wife as I didn't want her to worry and at the same time started to dress en femme more and more incrementally. She had time to adjust to my increasingly female appearance, eventually I told her about CHX, she said she thought it a little dishonest of me even though I told her why. I then asked if she wanted to split up with me, she said no. At that time GRS was not on the front burner for me, and and I said so. I was still part time trans, I went out with her as Steve. Eventually due to Austerity measures in the UK and my working for Local Government, my job appeared to be a risk, and she said play the Trans card if it happens, but they already know about my part time trans, so the only forward is to be full-time with name changes etc, amazingly she said yes OK do it! I didn't waste any time. I did all the document changes myself to avoid her any extra worries and second thoughts. Now I was full-time trans with an acquired female gender, I started to feel the need for GRS. We had a friend around a couple of months ago who just had her GRS nad I was questioning her about rather intensley, the next day my wife asked me if I wanted it and I admitted it to her, more mixed feelings resulted, but she accepted it. She had asked me this before I was full-time when I answered that it would remove a bulge in my trousers, but wasn't on the front burner, so I guess she'd already thought about it. With the awful UK election result, my wife wants to move to the Ardenne in Belgium before any UK referendum on EEU membership, she asked would I have had my GRS before then, because otherwise it will be an expense that we might not be able to afford, she has been fully on-board with me as a female after our recent Dutch Holiday where me being Trans did not detract at all from our enjoying our holiday. Sorry to give you my potted transition history, but I have given it to you to show that by transitioning slowly and incrementally, it gave my wife time to adjust and realise the my inner core is still as it was, plus I'm less argumental, more loving and forgiving, and can understand women so much better than Steve was ever capable of. Of course you might ask, but would the end result have been the same if I had transitioned faster (which I would have loved to do), who knows, but I seriously doubt it. I hope my long and laborish text helps you, in your troubled state. Hugs, Eve x

I told you you were determined! well done brave soul. Remember the Emla cream for your top lip, (can you get that in the US?) and at first wherever you have the electrolysis, but it ges less and less painful incrementally, I've just come back from electrolysis myself today, and I don't really feel too much pain these days. Think of it as a wasp sting, and tell yourself not to cry and be a baby, that's what I did. I shave the morning before an appointment and not on the morning of the appointment. Having said that, as I progressed - and it's been a long and winding road - my hairs got weaker and weaker and therefore easier to treat, so yours will probably do the same. The flip side is that hairs don't grow as fast. Some of my Trans friends go without shaving for 2 -3 days ata time, but I don't like even the minutest stubble. Hope you stick with it, it's worth not having a dark shadow. You probably have the US spelling of endocrinologist Oxo...... also used for gravy and stews in the UK ! I'm so happy for you. Eve x

Karen, Noticed that, too, when I viewed your photographs as a man. Think you are a handsome man and now a very pretty woman. Monica

Woohoo, that is wonderful, what a year you had

Christie, and Emma , I am so very grateful I did get to hear those wonderful word "oh sound like you may be transgender" As I too lived in total shame. Along with self loathing and hated and many other negative thoughts, before I heard those beautiful words. I just wish I could of heard them at age 24 , instead of 54 . None the less I will take it, better late than never. As I am alive for the first time in my life, feeling better than I ever have in my life. And I feel this good and I've not even started HRT yet!! Hugs, Dawn

Dawn, What a wonderful year! Like Emma I wish I had a therapist say that to me at some point - but once I said it to myself I experienced the same general feeling, really almost immediate elation. I haven't stopped anti-depressants yet, but probably soon. I look forward to hearing about your ongoing progress xoxo Christie

Dear Dawn, I love your post; it really speaks to me. I wonder what my life might have been like if a therapist had said those words to me, too. I was so ashamed of my feelings for so many decades... I was even afraid to admit my feelings to a therapist! Which seems stupid now, but my shame was in control. No more, no more. Anyway, you deserve such accolades for what you have accomplished. Good for you. I hope we hear from you more often! hugs, Emma