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I agree with Monica, go at least five or six time to make an informed decision whether the group is worth attending or not. I would had been surprised if the Jenner topic did not come up.

Karen, Would love to see you make a DVD for women and the disabled about empty hand and cane self-defense. Also, I am really into prevention so that an attack never happens! Monica

Eve, There is a group that meets every Thursday night at the Stonewall Bar. It's for trans people, cross-dressers, etc. It's a great group, but it is purely social so there isn't much deep discussion. xoxo Christie

So True Karen........

You know come to think of it after reading Brigsby's comment (which must have been posted whilst I was typing), the first time I went to Outskirts I came away dissapointed, and yes, after the 3rd visit I went every Monday it was on it was great !.................

The description of the group does make it clear that it's a support group, so I do think this was probably an exception. They still could have limited that part of the discussion, there was a lot of repetition. My job search was mostly based on money, but that's gotten a little better recently thanks to a mortgage refinancing. (Of course electrolysis is taking up most of that saving)

Hi Christie, Is that the only TG support group / meeting place in New York? Are there any Trans freindly bars / restaurants where Trans people go to? I ask because here in Birmingham we have something called Outskirts which is a group where people across the Trans spectrum meet every 1st and 3rd Monday evening per month, at a bar called the Equater Bar in Hurst Street. It' sort of starts 7:30 ish and continues through to late (sort of after 23:00 ish). Theres usually 20 to 30 of us who meet and talk and help newcomers who are mostly fresh out of the closet, or cross dressers who want to transition and want advice. I'd be amazed if B'ham UK is the only place where this happens, please let me know if there isn't a place like this in New York somewhere. Ask your friend. Going to Outskirts helped me so much to get where I am now with my transition, in fact I'm pretty sure I couldn't have done it at all without going there....... Glad that all is going well at work for you. Eve

I feel bad that the support group you went to wasn't what you thought it might be. I really know that feeling, and the disappointment! But I would keep going for at least two - three more times to get a real feel for the atmosphere. It really isn't often that someone famous shocks the world with their new (to the world) look and name. It's great to hear that your work is being supportive. I didn't know you were looking for another job, but I hope you don't have to anymore!

the best part of the support groups I have attended over the years has been the connections I have made with others in my situation and can relate too. It is a wonderful feeling to be in a room of ppl that accept you as you are and have real conversations about life. Sure understand your feelings and encourage it with those of you afraid to try it

Yes changes will be small but are cumulative over time they add up to big changes that one day you will look at old pictures and see two different people, a male in one, a female in the other

I think people get wrapped up in the fact that she is financially independent and well off. That she does not face the same struggles as the rest of us. But while most of us are able to transition in relative anonymity, Bruce now Caitlyn cannot. I'll bet, if she wasn't so famous and an Olympic hero to many, she would have transitioned years ago. But she did not. She lived in a personal prison. Not wanting to disappoint millions of Americans and people around the world. Can you imagine that? Here I am worried about disappointing my mom, sister, wife ... and she has this burden her whole life that none of us could imagine. I am proud of her! Growing up, Bruce Jenner was a hero to me. Caitlyn Jenner still is that Olympic hero. That being said, some of the Vanity Fair shots were highly sexualized. Maybe I am sensitive to it because I am trans* or because Caitlyn (and I) am older. I just worry for other older trans* women, like myself, that the "bar" has been set high. I am a very self-critical person, but I worry that I and others will be measured by cisgender people who see this. We don't have infinite amounts of money or free time to look that good. (Lol! Don't we wish!) So it is somewhat a false reality. Though, it is no different then the reality that women face who see advertising "pump out" sexualized images on a daily basis. Anyways, I am "net-positive" about all of this. When I saw the pictures, I had the same reaction, "WOW! I cannot believe that used to be Bruce Jenner. She looks incredible!"

I completely agree! I've heard too many people saying she's not a hero - heroism comes in many forms.

I must agree, any good - no non negative press regarding transgender has to be good, let's face it, the sheep like masses out there, always seem to look up to the rich & famous, so it helps to normalise the whole spectrum of Trans isssues. Think Elton John & being openly gay is such a similar parallel. Here in the UK we were only aware of Bruce Jenner when she had all that nasty invasive press coverage, It's refreshing to see the balance of coverage start to go in the other direction, and of course I'm glad that her life is seemingly turning out to be better. Cheers, Eve

Warren, I read this over the weekend, but being on my phone I didn't want to try to reply (takes too long to type on there). You certainly do have a lot going on, but it sounds like things are at least moving in a positive direction which is great! It's sad that the level of support you get from various places can depend so much on the specific person who is helping (or not!) you, but I guess that's reality everywhere. It would be nice if people could just do their job! But fortunately you found someone finally who does! I'm looking forward to seeing your YouTube channel! I'll subscribe right away when it's ready xoxo Christie

So far I'm just doing this unofficially, I haven't started any legal name change yet - that will be daunting, but worthwhile I'm going to "live with" this for a while and see how it feels before taking that step (since it involves a legal proceeding)

I'm very happy for you Christie, hope it doesn't get too "full on" with your name change and doc's, it really did for me in December and January. Others have said they had an easy time of it, hope that'll be the case for you. Not sure of how it works in the US, but I pretty immediately had to change my name at HMRC (Income tax) too. If you drive whilst at work you will probably need to change your licence too? and so it goes on.......... Hugs, Eve

Eve and Karen, I do need to work on the hair - my current hair style is more feminine than what I used to have, but I'm not quite as good at getting it right as my stylist is Ideally it should sweep across and down, diagonally covering much of the forehead. I'll definitely get more alone time, especially now that summer is approaching! I typically spend a lot of time by the river when the weather is nice enough. And i always have a notebook with me, I know that writing out my thoughts helps me move past the initial thought and explore more deeply. Yesterday I initiated the change in my name at work. I told both of my supervisors, human resources, and a bunch of other staff members who i work regularly with. I knew I was going to, but hadn't really anticipated the level of anxiety it would cause during the day! On top of "upping" my make-up (adding lipstick and eyebrows), it was an interesting day. Fortunately I got a lot of very positive feedback from co-workers, so the day ended very very well xoxo Christie

Christie, My honest opinion is when I first looked at your picture I saw FEMALE staring back at me, no doubt in my mind. Now with that said I have to agree with Eve in that you need to fashion your hair in the front one way or another to complete the look. Perhaps next weekend if time and money allow with a comfort level go to a hair stylist, tell them about yourself and ask "what can you do with my hair to give it a female look?" My guess is, again as Eve indicated to drop the hair to cover your forehead. Get the right hair stylist and I truly believe afterwards people seeing you in public will not see a male but a female. And I will say it again, all I see is female On the note about alone time, sounds like it got some results be in positive or negative and remember one time is not enough, find time again and ask yourself these questions again and any new ones. You even might consider writing them down and your responses to the questions so that you can go back to them again and also bring them with you to a therapist appointment for a discussion point or two.

Hair that drops forward to cover the forehead! See my gallery and me in the restaurant in purple. You've already seen me in my black dress and pearls, see my hair - well my wig anyway! Eve xoxo

Eve, It doesn't sound off-putting at all, it sounds appropriately cautionary! I do at moments feel very excited to move forward, but for the most part I'm able to control that (and fortunately there is some wait built into the process). What's a fringe? xoxo Christie

Hi Christie, Hey everyones different..............but who hasn't ever made a bad decision in their lives............? As long as you realise that it's going to be you for the rest of your life, (after taking oestrogen for a period of time at any rate it becomes pretty much irreversable and testosterone blockers seem to be pretty permanent too), and you're happy with that fine. I can't put my hand on my heart and say that I was 100% sure either. I know that for me I'm happier now than when I was fully male, but that doesn't mean that it'll be the same for everyone. The point is to have given it a lot of thought, you are no doubt aware that breasrs will grow, your skin will soften somewhat and muscles will lessen, your face will become a little more femme, and weight redistributes. But also it is very easy to put on weight when taking estrogen. Both Karen Payne and myself have posted entries about thinking it through, because we don't want to be adverts for transition to people who suddenly find out they don't like what has ensued. That being said, and me being impulsive (some would say impatient too), I actually started hormones and remained "part time" living in dual genders, I managed to do this by wearing a gynecomastia vest to conceal my boobs, sounds a strange thing to do I know, but it gave time for my face to feminise a bit and also time to practice being female, at that time I referred to myself as being gender nutral or an "inbetweenie". It was me testing the water really bit by bit. So there's not just one occasion when you might think 100% positive about hormones and go do it, I'd say it's a lot more realistic to be thinking 90 odd percent positive over a longer period of time, whilst at the same time getting expert opinions and advice before doing it. Isn't life a balancing act?, so think of all the pros and cons. And then if you do take hormone treatment, be prepared for it to be a little different to wandering around in drag or cross dressed, I find it many times better...............because it's me. So could it be the same for you, is it the same for you, only you can answer that, but be honest with yourself and don't blame me if you don't like it................... Sorry if this sounds a bit off-putting, but it's a very large step to take. Cheers, Eve. P.S. You have a pretty femme face already but try a fringe, I think you'll find it'll make a huge difference, I too was given this advice over a year ago, and it did make a huge difference to me.....

I just need to be mindful of what she is going through and her feelings on this. I need to move forward, but certainly I don't want to make her mad. We work so well together as a couple. We really are a great team. Over the last 15 years, our relationship has been a lot of work and sacrifice. I respect her so much. Unfortunately, things do change. I know that I have changed over the last 3 years. For the better I think, but she has grown more distant with me. It's not good. I've had several friends go through separation and divorce. At some point, I may get a sledgehammer between the eyes. I hope not. Because we are both better off working together than apart.

Hi Eve. I agree with you, and want to say how lucky you are, for your wife, friends, and you're being yourself. I admire you and love your smile in your photos. I can tell that you're really having a blast! Emma

Hi emma, The lady in the leopard spotted fleece is my wife, she's just the best person on earth......................We had a wine guzzling party here last night with 4 of my trans friends and two of their wives, must try out cork spitting, sounds as if it could be fun. Fun doesn't have stop jusy because we age.............. Cheers, Eve

Hahaha! Reminds me of the time when I was just out of college. My roommate and I decided to see what it was like to have a "wine tasting" party. We bought several bottles of different wines, invited friends over (also about 23-24 years old) and the party ended up with us figuring out who could spit the corks the farthest in the room! Ah, those were the fun days... Emma