Leaderboard

Well don't you look pleased with yourself!😀 you're looking good Karen Cheers Eve

Eve, Cisgender women use "props" to minimize their weak characteristics or bring attention to their positive characteristics. One in three cisgender women use wigs and hair pieces. In my case, I choose my eye wear carefully to bring attention to my hazel eyes, and because I am a women of size, I choose my accessories carefully. Also, I have large feet (size 11 to 11 1/2) and choose simply designed shoes as well as floor length pants instead of 3/4 length pants. Ladies, these concerns show that you are WOMEN, not transwomen fearing not passing! Your friend, Monica

Karen and Eve, Strongly suggest women to be PROFESSIONALLY fitted for their bras at least once a year. It is worth every penny. Many women don't know this, but a professional bra fitter showed me that the proper way to PUT ON a bra is to bend at the waist and to drop your breasts into the cups. Large breasted women such as myself should be careful NOT to wear an under wire bra because the weight of the breasts pushes the wire against the rib cage and can cause bruising. Your friend, Monica

You are beautiful

Well done!!! and I have subscribed

Compare and contrast with Chaz Bono, Janet Mock. Seems to me that Chaz was also a celebrity but that focus on him was less and of shorter duration. Janet is known as an activist, qualifying as a spokesperson whose opinions and knowledge have helped keep the "conversation" on-topic. Laverne Cox is celebrated for her beauty and acting on OITNB. What happens when the program ends? Transwomen have shocked American, and possibly all western, cultures for many decades, from Christine Jorgensen to Chelsea Manning, igniting the "flames of hell" with each celebrity outing. I'm sure there were others before Ms. Jorgensen but am not familiar with that part of history. We'll progress more quickly when we no longer shock them. Crossing my fingers.

Emma, I agree with Lisa and Monica too, I can't see you staying in limbo for ever, if you do it will lead to mental health issues, you have to be who you really are. How far has your wife come to accpetance of your being Trans, and seemingly to me, wanting to be Transgender. We haven't communicated for a while, but I seem to recall that you were taking the softly softly approach and incrementally becoming who you want to be? Cheers, Eve

Well that sounds a lot more straightforward than in the UK, the 3 psych's are the norm here, 1 local, and 2 at Charing Cross Gender Identity Clinic in London. That being said my doctor prescribed me with oestrogen patches to stop me self meding, so I was lucky and got a great start, but I still have had to go through the process anyway, and then after seeing the psych's, I saw the endocrinologist who upped my patch dosage and prescribed Decapeptyl injections. So no, I'm also not typical of the UK NHS route. Thanks for the answers, they're appreciated. Cheers, Eve

My experience in Oregon was see a therapist, get a letter to give to a doctor, that's it. Then the doctor (as luck was she is male to female) asked me questions, listen and approved me. My guess is the norm is unlike this, it all depends whom you see. Me, seeing a female to male therapist and a male to female doctor is rare if you ask me.

hmmm I see, It sounds to me to be just the same stuff that we help each other with in our community, do you also have to see 3 psychiatrists before HRT and GRS? You know, I've only ever seen one therapist and that was a Hypnotherapist the other week when I was in Brighton, to help with weight loss............Therapists (whatever sort) just aren't common in the UK, so I'm really trying to get my head round what you US girls do. Cheers, Eve

The dialog (in my still brief experience with her) is very similar to any other therapist, I think it's more about her experience, that she knows more about the process, problems, benefits, etc. of transitioning both from her own research and work with other clients. It's not that a "regular" therapist can't work with a transgender person in transition, but they might not know some things that are helpful (the effect of hormones, etc.)

People still call me Steve at times, I don't really mind because they don't do it purposefully, it's just old habits that they find hard to shake off......... Eve

Yeah Karen, it'd be nice to meet you! Guess we'd have a fair bit to talk about................... Cheers, Eve

Yeah but what do they do, what is the dialogue (generically)? We don't have them here and I'm interested to find out LoL Eve

I have nothing to measure on in regards to a general practicing therapist to a therapist with expertness with trans people. With that said my two therapist, one female to male and one cisgender female both bring with them a vast amount of experience which ebbs out of them in their insight and challenges to clients which I can not image can occur with a general practicing therapist. In regards to your trip, makes me want to say "can I come too?". Never been to Europe and would love too.

This past week was the first in which I was almost entirely going by Christie, and I noticed last night that my friend (who works at the comedy club where I volunteer) accidentally called me by my former name and I initially didn't react. It was only because it was his voice and clearly aimed in my direction (I wasn't looking at him at the moment) that got my attention. I'm already seeing that using my former name (which I still have to in a few circumstances) feels almost foreign to me.

I think I was typing my comment when you and Karen were doing the same, have to say that I agree with you both, and I thought about "props" too, such as large femme sunglasses to help hide my droopy male looking eyes, wearing the right combination of clothes to hide my lack of hips, and to show that my boobs are real wide loose trousers to hide my size 9 (US 11) feet, not too much over the top make-up, ensuring that the colour of my wig and the style and length of my wig suits me (read in your own hair if you're lucky enough), there are a lot of props that you can use and they helped me no end in gaining confidence. Eve

Eve, Well, for what it's worth, I have some recent experience with a "regular" therapist vs a gender therapist. Both are very good, but my current therapist, the gender therapist, has worked with many transgender clients (patients?), and I find that very reassuring in terms of working with her. I'm not sure there's much difference beyond that, others might have that experience. I think it's just a matter of specialization. Christie

It is a monumental decision to move forward, like my therapist said to me yesterday after showing her pictures from a photo session last weekend. Kevin is but a distant memory and there is no way you could ever go back (not like I would even think of it). But is a small percentile that have regret but I tend to believe this is the fault on both the person and the professional assisting them and ignore the Benjamin standards or loosely interpret them for their own agenda.

Hi Christie, So glad that you believe in yourself, and yes you need to forgive and possibly forget and move on. Passable? we have a saying over here "mind over matter - I don't mind and you don't matter" that's how to approach the thorny issue of passing, it's other people who might have a problem with me, I don't have a problem being me, so that's their problem, and I don't give it anymore thought than that these days, I just move on........... Hope this helps you, Eve

In short, the precipice for the most part has passed where as Lori said there is still ignorance and bigotry that remains and will stay with those of the third gender for some time to come. Thinking about Caitlyn's journey, we must look passed what is injected by the new media and realize there will be both good and bad things that surface as time goes by. Right now I hear a lot of chatter on the Vanity Fair publishing where the key word is PhotoShop which can be detrimental or not, only time will tell. Either way I wish her the best.

Along those lines last night, while still in my own head, I recognized the really big fear was about finding a job if I needed to. I worried that, especially if I didn't believe I was passable, that I might not be able to find one. But then I thought about that fear vs. the idea of just giving this up. My inner response to that wasn't even to consider them against each other, it was simply that I can't do that. I can't go back, if I do that I'm just not living my life.

Christie, I truly believe that once you come to terms with "the fear" and doubt which is one of the main catalyst for many not moving forward you will see things crystal clear like never before in regards to self-awareness in either direction you take by it not moving forward or moving forward. The passable part will be a thing of the past if you truly start hormones and believe in yourself. It is not an overnight thing nor a few weeks but instead many months to have confidence to have others believe in you too. I know some people who write notes to themselves to build up confidence while I had objects in my place, pictures, vases with flowers and in general how my place was and is setup as a cisgender female does. This goes a long way to building confidence and to place one's mind into the right place so it is not simply you the person but the things and people that surround us.

It is interesting how perspectives vary on this. My thought was that Caitlyn probably suffered even more than me for a number of reasons. 1. She is older. She grew up before there was the Internet or much reliable information about transgender issues. I remember believing I was the "only one" in the world who felt this way. Caitlyn came up at a time when there was even less information and much less tolerance. 2. She became famous. Bruce Jenner was an American icon and was a hero to many. Bruce received endorsements such as Wheaties and became instantly recognizable in virtually every household in America. I can relate from being fairly well known in my home town and how scary it is that your "secret" might get out. Remember this was in an era when most of America was very intolerant. 3. Caitlyn probably realized she could never just disappear and then reappear as her female self. At the time of my transition (over 20 years ago) that is exactly what I did. I disappeared and reemerged as a female. Fortunately for me I passed pretty near flawlessly so I pretty much just got on with my life. Caitlyn probably didn't have that opportunity with Paparazzi hounding her. I believe Caitlyn's coming out will signal a turning point in how America views and treats transgender people. Or course there will still be ignorance and bigotry, but Caitlyn has people talking. Now, everybody knows somebody who is transgender -- or at least they feel like they do. I have never seen the outpouring of support that I am for Caitlyn. I do believe we're at a cross roads. Let's hope this will be the shift we've been hoping for.

I guess that's sort of the double-edged sword of celebrity exposure. Anything that brings awareness to the general public is good, but the rich and famous live in such a different world than the rest of us that their experiences will not realistically reflect most peoples'. The CBC actually ran an article a couple days ago on that exact topic: Caitlyn Jenner's transition doesn't represent most transgender experiences Although we also shouldn't lose sight of the fact that Caitlyn felt the same pain we're all familiar with.