Leaderboard

The two most popular "free" dating websites are OkCupid ("OkC") and Plenty of Fish ("PoF"), with feedback from people preferring PoF over OkC because PoF has a higher number of members. Remember, you are PAYING for the so-called "free" websites by giving them your private information (check their terms of usage) and they accept advertising that usually shows up on sidebars and above and below their content. Be aware that when you "delete" your profile, often it is not removed. Be prepared to CALL customer service to ask for it to be removed, and ask them to remove it while you are on the phone with them. Many dating websites maintain so-called "dead" profiles to artificially inflate their membership numbers. "Free" dating websites usually do not have telephone customer service. Dating websites tend to favor those who are physically attractive and have high income levels. Some who don't photograph well or who have lower incomes may do better at meetups or gender conferences. Be aware when you upload pictures that they will FILL UP the viewer's screen, showing every little detail. If possible, have a friend take multiple pictures of you doing the things you enjoy, in a variety of clothing, making sure there is at least one good head, waist high and full body shot. Be wary of scammers. Do NOT send money under ANY circumstances! Do not be discouraged when you get few replies, because there are many "dead" profiles from people who thought they deleted them, but they weren't. Focus on profiles that are featured under, "New Members This Week," "New Members Near You," "Who's On IM (Instant Messaging)," and "Who's Online." These are most likely "live" profiles of current members. Take the time to carefully READ the profile of the member you are responding to, and to write a PERSONALIZED (not canned!) response. If you are transgender, you need to mention this in your profile and replies. THINGS NOT TO DISCUSS AND TO AVOID: Do not share your income (not even checking your "income bracket"). Do not mention any kind of disability (not even checking off "disability"). Do not mention anything NEGATIVE. Avoid "Too Much Information" ("TMI"). When you meet, you will have plenty of time to share details. Be aware users can look up your profile on OTHER dating websites based on your photographs and by quoting contents of your profile. Be honest. You hurt others and yourself because you want to attract others who will like you for you, not for someone you are pretending to be. Do not discuss your work. This includes pictures of you at work and in uniform. Do not include pictures of others (especially children!), with or without permission. Do not upload photographs of your home(s), property, cars or of yourself wearing expensive jewelry, etc. Remember, it behooves you to learn all you can about Internet dating, because one out of five couples meet through internet dating websites. Suggest trying PoF and OkC for six months, and, if no success, try paid websites. Have found making friends with partnered couples, because, for some reason, they tend to know well put together singles. Let them know you are looking! http://www.TGPersonals.com (Free, and found wonderful friends there!). For men and women. http://www.PinkWink.com (Great deal for $39.95 a YEAR, excellent customer service, and, best of all, VERY trans-friendly!). Lesbians only. http://www.lastinglesbianlove.com (Blog and although written for Lesbians only, great advice for anyone). VERY trans-friendly! http://www.youhaulher.com (Again, blog and although written for Lesbians only, great advice for anyone). Wishing the best for all those who seek love, that they may find it!

So....been another hurtful, stressful, discouraging day. Yesterday's bulls*** has dragged on my mind all night, limiting my sleep, and bringing me down today. She purposefully calls me her "daughter kristy" just to piss me off....I dont get it... 14 hours ago Me:Please dont call me your daughter kristy because I am neither of those things. I dont appreciate the post you put up. It's really disrespectful. I sent her that^^^^^message and she has since blocked me... So, yeah. I'm a little down. But here's my youtube vid for this week....I ranted a little (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6rUxRUs8t4) Warren

Recently, in the past two weeks I have noticed my brain is working differently than in the past. I labeled this entry intangibles because as per the definition it is hard to touch on. It all began last week, there was something that felt different in my thoughts. Sometimes I was razor sharp with the task at hand but other times I was off in my own little world. The only thing that makes sense is that this is a cumulative effect of being o hormones. I am truly thinking more like a cisgender females more and more each day and will be interesting to see how far this goes. Think this is one of my shortest entries but an important one too.

My dosage of Estradiol has been increased. I am looking forward to the changes that come with that. So far I've noticed the following changes: - Overall, I am much more calm and patient. Though, because I haven't transitioned yet and feel kind of trapped I get impatient and angry. - I am much more focused. More than I have been my whole life! - Overall, I sleep much better at night. I can sleep 12, 13, 14 hours straight if I really need it. I was totally unable to do that before. Though, lately I have woken up in the middle of the night anxious (like I used to). I have brief periods of fear and anxiety that I am going to lose everything and everyone due to transition. - My sex drive is less. Actually, when I started HRT, the first four weeks, my sex drive dropped to zero, but has bounced back. Still lower. - Physically, the only thing I've noticed is some shrinkage below and my breasts are swollen and a little sore if I press on the nipple. - My appetite is about the same but I get the munchies much less, which has been the killer for me! Hopefully, not TMI. But I wanted to share. I've only been on HRT for two months, but have noticed changes. Mentally, it has been dramatic. Physically, not as much. I would imagine with the increase in estrogen, the pace of change will pick up.

I really never expected this. When I first started out in this journey I told myself that I didn't care what I looked like in the end. I didn't care if people always saw me as a man who wants to be a woman. At least I would be honest. At least I was being me. I could finally let go of the pain of lying and projecting myself as male that I held onto for so long like some kind of comfort blanket... made of rabid raccoons - That kept me safe... in an emotionally scarring sort of way. "I keep telling you, nothing's wrong - I always look this intense." For a long time that was the truth. Some days were better than others in the beginning. Some days I felt I passed and other days I felt like people could see right through my wig and my makeup for the drag queen that I was. As time went on and the hormones took their toll on my face and body I actually started to feel less passable. It felt awkward but at least it still felt right. Looking back on it, the looks everybody gave me probably weren't them saying to themselves, "what a freak," like I thought they were - it was probably them being genuinely curious about my gender. "Why yes! This is my natural colour!" Looking back on a journal entry from early in my transition I remember myself stating that I wasn't sure about going all the way - that being androgynous would be enough. Funny that when I finally made it there it felt so wrong. Fear is a strong thing and I think that was my way of coping with the fact that I might not have been able to look like a woman - coupled with the fact that for a while I wasn't able to unsee my male self when I looked in the mirror. When people looked at me funny, curious about my existence, I just wanted them to see me as another girl in the street. My hair had gotten long enough (and thick enough) and I was so sick of the uncomfortable wigs that I stopped wearing them. I started to look not really one gender, not yet the other. "Just guess what you're looking at. No pressure!" Recently I was beginning to notice that the attention was waning. Something in me started to panic. Maybe it's because I had gotten used to people's stares, I'd gotten used to room full of people who would take turns staring at me until it seemed like everyone had done it at least once. I didn't even realize that people stopped looking because they no longer register me as anything other than... female. Wrapping my head around this is a little weird! Maybe it's because I thought it would never happen and for a while my inferiority complex (still lingering from trying to live as a man) wouldn't let me believe that I was being seen as a woman. The only time looks linger now is because they think I'm cute! The smiles people give me aren't sinister - they're genuine. New people don't do the double-take that they once did when I walked up to them. Chatting in a cafe just today when I brought up anything trans related my friend would lean in and whisper as though no one else in the coffee shop needed to know. It was our little secret and she looked so excited for me! "Why yes, I would like to show more leg!" Now I need to decide what to do with this. Two years ago I told myself that I would move out of town, change my name and start a new life if I was ever able to go stealth. But with all the support and new friends I've made I can see that was a decision made purely out of fear. I've already decided that being passable is going to work a lot to my advantage but in my career and in my life I really want to get into trans support and trans rights. Why vanish when I could do much more by being visible? Apparently being passable is helpful in that regard and while I don't think that's right on society's part I want to do what I can to change the general public's viewpoint. Somehow. Slowly, surely. Let's see what happens now.

So, first off I want to apologize for my last blog post, I apparently was having a bad day/night and needed to vent. I do want to thank everyone for their words of encouragement and assure you that I am less RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWRRRRRR today and more ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz JUST BECAUSE IM THAT BIPOLAR. Yup, that is my life. SO, on another note, it IS Wednesday, and as some of you may know, it is my YOUTUBE POST day. So I have posted my weekly youtube post, and here ya go>>>> or (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y04F-D5GmvU) for those of you that the video doesnt show up on. Just...ya know.....click it. I SAID CLICK IT~! Surprised that I have a good handful of subscribers already but who knows? Maybe this was a good idea after all! Gives me something to do anyway. Otherwise nothing going on. Therapist still wont send me my files, I have to call them AGAIN in about an hour, which leads me to wonder if I even have a file or if she was just bullshitting me the whole time and has NOTHING written down which would annoy me to no end. And despite what I have been told, I have decided to stop taking my Zoloft. Not only because I've been off from it for two weeks anyway (headache free, might I add) but because I notice NO DIFFERENCE with taking it versus NOT taking it. I get the same depressing outcome anyway, so.......why add more chemicals to my day if they're not at least beneficial? Seems a waste. ANYWHORE, I'm going out for dinner at Papa Gino's (pizza place) with the bf tonight despite my soul-crushing dysphoria, so wish me luck on that one that I dont have a mental breakdown and shatter some faces . SIDENOTE: Omagerd I soooooo wanna get some transpride buttons for my backpack or something. I'm not so huge on the tshirts because for whatever reason I almost feel awkward (not embarrassed just.....pass) on wearing my trans pride shirts. Simply because I get a lot of awkward stares or disapproving glares WHICH I KNOW I SHOULD IGNORE but it still gets to me. SO, I think I'll stick to my plaids. Havent cut in two-or three- days so I guess that's a plus. Got all my aggrivation out I guess, I dont know. STAY AWESOME. Warren