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"It's scarily daunting." But, I imagine - and I admit, easy for me to say - also freeing, and a day of celebration. I hope you will make plans to go out with friends that evening and toast your courage to be who you are. Personally, I admire and applaud you. I hope you'll keep us informed and allow us to give you a standing ovation if only in spirit. Hugs, Emma

Have fun with your make-up Karen, yes take your time and experiment, isn't life about having fun anyway? Anyway if I read your last sentence correctly, and also Christies final point, which is a similar thought that I had, I'm not bothered about passing even if I do, and I know that I do anyway, but I'm not bothered what handle you put on me, I'm me, what I always should have been. Humanity is so diverse, and even the 51% of humanity that I now identify with is so diverse that I just do my own thing. This indeed did take a while before I realised it, I think I posted something similar in one of Jayes recent blogs............ Anyway I just been out shopping with my Mom, and bought a new faux fur coat, and sequin party cami top, which will go nicely with other clothes in my almost massive collection, funny that I could never understand massive collections of clothes or enough footwear for a centipede when I was male.................... I got too many coats now as well! Cheers, Eve

Thanks for the support, guys - every little bit of it helps <3

Karen, I had gotten to thinking about terms for a bit too - finally I settled for: (1) right now i'm "transgender," a "transwoman," and/or a "woman," (2) that will change, and (3) I don't need a final answer Xoxo Christie

I went through this at work over the summer and similar to Eve I found it much easier than expected, I hope your experience is likewise

Yeah I know what you mean, I went through all this December 3rd last year, which funnily enough was 11 years to the day that I started with the Council as a H&S Advisor......... It was a lot easier than I had hoped for, I'm sure you'll find similar.

Oh Christie that's so beautiful and eloquent a thought. Yes I'm on twitter but don't use it much, I prefer FB if you use it? Eve x

Jackson, I second Karen's book recommendation and would add Janet Mock's "Redefining Reality" - it's her story, and as she also came out when she was young you may find some helpful stuff. I'm not sure I agree with the notion of putting yourself in someone else's shoes, I don't think that's realistic in most cases (especially when it's your parents), my thought is just to be patient and understand that it will take some time if they're going to come around, and you can't predict how long (my brother accepted my transition within a week or so of finding out, my sister still hasn't after several months - i would have guessed the opposite). Xoxo Christie

It's either "bring it on" or I go and cower in a corner somewhere

There is a Facebook page for this too https://www.facebook.com/transdayofremembrance/

Michele, On your final point about your friend's birthday/father's passing away, I personally made a point to not remember the days that my parents passed away (at this point I know the months, but not the dates). I like remembering them on their birthdays (my mother and I shared a bday), not their final days. Xoxo Christie

Hiya Christie, and Eve. I have a Dormant Facebook Account. I will, when I have got time, close it down. I had too many problem's with it, so I Am Not intending to use it again. Christie well done, for ignoring the idiot's in the street. That is All that people like that are worth - ignoring !! Christie, Your words are so eloquent. Taking a Negative, and turning it into a Positive, is Brilliant ! Eve and Christie, Have a Good Evening. and Take Care. With My Very Best Wishes, Stephanie. xx

I've so far resisted Facebook, worried about it eating up time

Thank you, Emma I have to say that it's such a comfort to find people on this site who get it. D'oh! Of course you get it - that's why I'm here ffs! This site, and especially the people on it, have helped me so much lately. A lot. It really does reinforce that I'm not alone - that I'm treading a path that people have trod before me, that there are plenty of people who understand what I'm saying, understand what I'm doing and why I have to do it, that I'm not weird or perverted or a freak. I can't believe, sometimes, just how far the world has moved on. Twenty, thirty years ago, there is no way I would have been able to connect with people who understood. No way. I have so much gratitude for this place and everyone who has taken the time to read my words and respond. You're beautiful and I thank you. <3

Glad that you've said "bring it on", I suspect that it'll be a lot easier and better than you imagine it might be. Cheers, Eve

Jay, My ex-wife, when we argued or I was depressed, used to say, "It's always all about you." And recently, in an argument with a rather difficult person at work (also a woman) I heard the same thing. Well, it's not, and dammit, those words are about the most hurtful anyone can throw at us. I don't blame you for being pissed for missing your meeting. Your feelings are right on. Hugs, Emma

Oh gosh, there are plenty of people I haven't told. It's a little daunting when I think about it. But your comments always help me. Thank you.

Hiya Jack. I Am glad that the counselling is Helpful, to You. The Great thing is that You have Your friend Haylee, who You are able to openly talk to. ( I Have got My Best Mate, who I speak with, normally 4 or 5 times, every week, by Phone. He lives about 25 Miles away, but We have been Mate's since We were both Young, and Best Mate's for at least 32 Year's, and We both trust each other Fully. We always have done ! ) Jack, if You can keep That sort of Friendship, with Haylee, a Life-Long one, that will be excellent. Jack, as You are doing Research on the Subject, have You asked Your Counsellor, if He knows any support group's, near You, for FtoM Youth ? It Is just an idea Young Man. ( Myself, for support, I go to a Lesbian; Gay; Bi-Sexual; Transgender/Transsexual Nightclub. I can get support from Member's of Their Transgender Advisory Group, and other MtoF Transsexual People there ! ) We All need some support whilst Transitioning. Jack, if You stay in touch with TGGuide, and You need any advice, and/or help, this is a Brilliant place to try. Please don't self-harm again. ( I tried the "S" word, 3 times, in a 7 1/2 Year Period. I Promise I will Not ever go there again ! ). Since I Came-Out as Transsexual, I have had a lot of Friend's, who are supporting Me, and one Good Friend, She is turned 80 Year's of Age, and She understands All about My Transsexuality. ( Bless Her ! ) Jack, You said You hold Your Head High. Well be Very Proud of that Young Man. You said about "The Icy Stare's", well I have No contact with My Parent's whatsoever, and have Not done so, for almost 18 Year's. My Mother tried to interfere with My Life, right into Adulthood. Jack, You just keep that level head Young Man, and Please keep Your Friendship with Haylee special. Jack, have a Good Evening, Take Care, and My Very Best Wishes, Stephanie.

There is a book called True Selves that is geared towards adults coming out but might be of use to you too. In Portland Oregon (where I am) there is a place called the Q Center which has programs for trans youth, perhaps there is one in your town.

Hiya Jack. Welcome to TGGuide. As Karen says "Be careful to how You continue Your journey, regarding communication with Your Parent's, play it smart, don't push them too hard, simply put Yourself in Their shoes, and try to work from there. These Blogs, are a great outlet, so by all means, write away." Here on TGGuide, You can gain All sorts of Advice, and Information. Jack, Good Luck with Your FtoM Transitioning. Jack, I Am Personally Transitioning, from MtoF, and I Am 53 Year's Old, and I have known, since I was 3 Year's of Age, that I Am Female; Trapped; In A Male Body. I can therefore understand, how You feel, but in reverse. Jack, You are only Young, and You have got a whole lifetime ahead of You. I think, that if You take Your time, things will work out alright for You. I Came-Out, as Transsexual, on 30th. April, 2015, and I started Buying, and Wearing Female Undies, and Clothing, and being "Out" in Public, in 1st. May, 2015. I have been Fully; Full-Time; Female Dressed; and Living, ever since. Jack, enjoy Your Transitioning, Keep in touch with TGGuide, Good Luck; Take Care, and My Very Best Wishes, Stephanie.

Hello Jack, If you are sure and it sounds that way in regards to being male stuck in a female body then this is the right step to come out as keeping this to yourself will only be harmful in the long run. Without knowing all the facts I would say be careful to how you continue your journey regarding communication with your parents, play it smart, don't push them too hard simply put yourself in their shoes and try to work from there. These blogs are a great outlet so by all means write away!

Oh Jay. I think most of us have these self doubts, if you read my first blogs I often refer to the same and others have have also said similar. For me it seemed like the tide ebbing and flowing, sometimes I'd feel femme, at others I'd ask myself "what the hell do you think you're doing?, you're a bloke, stop all this foolishness, you'll never be a convincing woman1". I often asked myself when I had those tidal feelings and thoughts, "well do you want to go back to being Steve?" Know what?, I always answered no. The tidal movements of these thoughts, have now stopped, thankfully. Maybe it was the Testosterone blockers helping me, letting the oestrogen do it's magic, who knows, but I am thankful to have escaped a confusing time. It's good that you realise that it's your own subconscious that is talking to you in your dreams, but what concerns me is that you seem to be deeply worried that your transitioning will hurt other people who are close to you, such as your father. If these people are indeed family and close friends and love you, they will want you to be happy, if they don't they are not friends at all, just people that you know - acquaintances, worried that there may be some social stigma attached to them, because they have you as a friend or a family member. Parents have had their life and have chosen what they did with their lives, that doesn't mean that you have to follow their choices, it's your life, not theirs they have to realise that. You are very lucky to have such a supportive husband, you haven't wrecked his life, and he was & is the closest person to you. Have you told your father yet, and how old is he? Are their any close friends that you haven't told?2 1However, I have come to realise that whether or not I am convincing, it doesn't matter, I might or might not have transitioned into a totally convincing female, but what I have transitioned into is my true self, this is the most important thing that I have ever realised, I think others can also see it now, if they couldn't at the beginning of my transition.2I told some friends who were ex work colleagues that I was Trans, this was 9 months or so before my RLE began almost (except for a week) a year ago, we never heard from them again until two weeks ago, when they invited us to their place for dinner in a couple of weeks time. So previous to this, I had thought, oh well lose friends, and gain others, I've obviously lost these as friends. But it seems not so, possibly it takes people time to come to terms with transitioning, that and the quickly changing public perception of Transgender as being quite different to Transvestite / Drag / Fetish etc.Stay sane and keep positive thoughts in your head, no one ever said transitioning is easy, it takes determination with some measure of desperation in the mix. Hope that my comments help you, Hugs, Eve

Yes, that support means so much that it's hard to put it into words.

There may have been a gap between entries but the important thing is the amount of progress that you've made. My partner read this entry too, and she said it's nice, so I grabbed her kissed her and said how much spouse support means to someone transitioning, so thanks for this entry. Cheers Jay, Eve

Hiya Michele. You are proving to Everyone, that You are more than capable of handling responsibility. Being a Fleet Manager is a Very Rosponsible Job, and when You are a Mechanically Minded Female as well, You are going to be more than capable of showing the Male Mechanic's how to do the job properly. Also, You know how to handle Yourself with Firearm's, and Good on You. Just because You are Not in Uniform, All the Time, Does Not Stop You from doing an excellent job. Michele, Don't let People put You down Love. ( My Wife keeps trying to do that with Me, as well as being violent towards Me. The Very Next Violent Outburst, and I Am going to contact the Local Women's Aid, and ask to go into their Local Refuge ! She hates the fact that I Am Transsexual, but, She has been cheating on Me for 2 Year's, with Other Men, and Other Women ! ). Michele, Keep Going like You are Love, because You Are Doing Great. Michele, Take Care, With My Very Best Wishes, Stephanie. xx

Thanks Stephanie. I know what I should and can do, but it's just sometimes that the execution is making me rethink on how I should do it. But then I realize that I am the perfect person, to do what it takes to get the ball rolling. I thank thee for the motivation and that I know I have a space and time to return to get what I need as a booster. Michele

Hiya Michele. Just because You are a Female Sweetheart, does Not mean that You should Not carry a Firearm. Why should You Not be able to Protect Yourself. Don't listen to All the Bull Manure. You look after Yourself Love. Your Photograph's definitely show how Pretty and Feminine You are. Your transitioning is definitely right for You Michele. You are a lot Younger than Me, and I Am still very early in My MtoF Transition. Working Office Hour's, is very different from shift-work. I know, because I have done them both, over the Year's. Michele, Take Care of Yourself, Good Luck, and My Very Best Wishes, Stephanie. xx