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Eve, the picture was taken in the early eighties in Philadelphia Pennsylvania. I believe it's more forgiving now but not nearly as well as the West Coast where I reside now. Now in New York, not far from Pennsylvania they are very acceptive of trans people for the most part.

I wondered who the photo was of ! You looked gorgeous! But where was the location that was so unforgiving, and is the location any more forgiving now?

Veronica, Reminiscing back to when that picture was taken, I was hit on many times by men who had no clue to my true gender and the frustration came with that of not having female parts so that I might be able to engage physically with these men. Back then and that location was far from forgiving to trans people.

​Emma, thanks for the compliment. In regards to can't sleep, I am usually in bed by 7:30 on weekdays, at work by 5AM. It's simply how my body is, guess you could say I am a morning person

Thanks for that info Karen, it's pretty much what I thought it'd be. I'll be sure to ask your advice if - no when!, I visit the US. I guess I'll need to keep clear of the "red neck" areas.......... But then there are areas in the UK where it's not as easy as others, generally most of the big cities are OK, but I'd not be so sure that going out to country farming areas would be so liberally minded, but then again I was ok on country walks up the Severn valley, but it's pretty much a tourist area, and a lot of city folks have moved there.

Jeez, Karen, you also can't sleep? Anyway, I also absolutely love your photo. You look delightful: very pretty and feminine.

I'm working hard on my end to get healthier to hold up my end of happier ever after! I'm so happy your getting the chance to find relief from the depression.

I had Nikki read my blog and then I word vomited incoherently at him and answered questions. Nikki fully agreed he can't tell between Bree is in full control of this crap and Bree is drowning and needs protection. So we have a I need a breather or time out safe word for the new changes, which I'm proud to report I have not needed, so if I'm in a situation I need to visually and emotionally see that he's got my back I can 'mango' and he'll get involved. I honestly didn't even know what was wrong with me inside until the right conversations about Nikki came together with the external stimulus in the right way to have an Ah Ha moment. Just knowing one word and I won't be alone eases the fear response to let me help him help me. You guys are such wonderful friends and really help me when I'm lost. Thank you! I'm nowhere near as strong as even Nikki thought. I just learned to refuse to give the world the satisfaction. You are all helping me sort through these. Things so that I can really can be a shinier healthier Bree to better support my Nikki.

I agree completely with Steff. I don't have time right now to write much. I agree with your idea to print out your post and share it with Nikki. What better way to break the ice on such an important conversation? The important thing is to concentrate on your feelings, not so much on what you think Nikki should or should not do. Let her realize the depth of your feelings and see if you can both think of ways to adapt and cope. Hugs, Emma

I think it would be fun to share clothes if and when you reach that point.

It is really easy to fool the brain through the eyes. Some of us are more susceptible than others, like when we were watching the movie The Saint I think it was with Val Kilmer, who was playing some kind of spy or something (this was a while ago) and kept having dramatically different looks, in some scenes I couldn't pick out where he was hiding in the crowd until he did something to draw the attention even though he was one of my favorite actors.

I think it's utterly delightful that you're finding things you like. Go ahead and order them, girl! Enjoy yourself! I'd be willing to bet that Nikki'd be delighted too to see you having some fun.

Very pretty nails, Karen! I love how they look and I'll bet you feel marvelous when you notice them.

I love that comment by your therapist and hope you're listening to emma more. we need her, but so do you.

I see you, with all your strengths and flaws, and I understand, and I am so glad you are my friend. *Hugs*

Hello. My name is Dr. Oweena Scott PHD. and I am a Clinical Psychologist. I offer my services to any one transgendered who is in need of help on line FREE OF CHARGE. My e-mail address is Dr_Oweena_Scott@therapist.net. I am also trans gendered so I am familiar with the needs that you face.