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Do not give up what you have until you are absolutely sure you are bettering your present situation. Date but stay living separately. I am sure you can have sleepovers at each others places. That way you will get to know whether or not you can deal with the other persons idiosyncrasies. I can't see the pet thing being worked around so make sure that is in your Profile if you are using a dating site. I am not looking for a partner nor am I a so called moral person. I am looking for sex and am having a lot of fun. A few of my men have been long term and the others are occasional. One man did ask me if we could be exclusive and I said no and why. He accepted my reasons and comes to see me at least once a week. It is working well for me. I am going out more often now because I found a club where I could meet other transwomen so my translife is expanding even at my age. I am being complimented by men, women and other transwomen for my appearance and my openness. My sexual needs are being met and my social needs are also being met. If by some chance I do meet the man for me then so be it but I am not looking for him nor do I actually think I will meet him. I am living one day at a time. I have two other outlets that keep me going too. I play a lot of hockey, as a guy, and afterwards there is beer and food so I am having a social life. I did come out to about 8 players of one group I play with so we do talk about it at times but not often. The other outlet is a cyber world called Second Life (SL). I go there most evenings and I started out as a pre-op transwoman but am now a woman for all intents and purposes. I live a very happy life there and especially since I bought a better computer over a year ago. It is a great place for those who live alone and can't get out much and you can create a beautiful young looking avatar. Because of my lack of finances because I was married before I have worked as a stripper for most of my time in SL. The money I made, in their currency, allowed me to buy clothes and a rent a place to live. I am now a DJ at the club I was a stripper at. Drama still occurs there because people are still people. I state all this just to tell you how I have been coping with living alone. It is not for most but maybe you can find something I do or think helpful. Bonnie PS When I say I am not a moral person it is because many of the men are married. To me that is not my issue it is the men's. I did not go looking for them they found me.

Congratulations Brigsby,but I am confused by the two pictures. In the bottom picture is that you with implants? Just trying to take it all in.Thanks for your post

Dear Friends, Thank you for responding. Where I live it is hard to find/make friends. As one acquaintance recently told me, in the northeast, it is "dog eat dog." Grew up hearing my own mother say the same thing. Since moving to upstate New York, I have learned how right my mother was in saying the things she said (I grew up here). Definitely plan on being very honest UP FRONT about this, because I do not want anyone thinking I mislead them. Probably I am not in the place where I belong. Not one to live a lie. Will let you all know how it turns out! Thank you very much for reaching out to me. Yours truly, Monica

Finally I have some time to respond. I really do believe in the friendship and companionship aspect of life. This means a kiss and hug, a laugh together, some shared memories. A true friend is forever - my wife - and I have been together for 40 years and we are firstly just friends. I have almost 100 other friends I have strong ties to. I kind of collect my friendships. Some know of my transgender leanings others do not. About shorter relationships these all need to be friendships to succeed. The first aspect of being a friend is acceptance and realistic expectations. One does not try to make a friend someone they are not. If you have quirkiness that is you, who you are, this is usually the last thing a friend considerers - this may be something you joke about and actually could draw you closer, as all of us who are real have our quirks. I hope this helps. I know you through your writings to be a wonderful person well deserving of many good comments and relationships. Best to you. Dawn

Companionship a issue - the need to share one's life ... Thanks Monica for asking me to respond - As it is late I will sleep on this and definitely share my thoughts with you tomorrow. I think you are a wonderful person deserving of love and compassion. The other things you mention; the you of you, these are factors of relationships but are not the drivers. See you tomorrow. Best to you - Dawn