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Thank you Chrissy. I'm on Prilosec, and it helps, but it's not controlling it. I discovered this liquid antacid called Gaviscon that I'm taking before bed, it supposedly created a foam in the top of my stomach to hold the liquid in as well as neutralizing the acid. So far it's helped tremendously, and I got my stupidly expensive wedge today, so here's hoping. ​ I had to give up chocolate, I am a very unhappy Bree. I like chocolate. Good to know that about ice cream, will avoid until I sort all this out. Thanks Emma! It might end up in a surgical situation, as I have a hernia issue that is probably related, so until there is insurance there really isn't much I can do but damage control. Nikki is still plugging away at ACA forms to see if we can't get help with that insane Cobra payment, and the lifestyle changes seem to be starting to take hold, today was a good day. Right now he's yelling at the computer, apparently it's hiding the place where he needs to input my passport info to prove I'm a citizen. Apparently aca has doubts about me or something. LOL At least Nikki is doing great. Loves the new job, is currently face deep in car shopping (our buick is about dead and the van is a bit old to be doing hour commutes, it's time) and working hard on the house and prepping for the upcoming move to my mom's. I'm having a bit of an odd reaction to that, it's the second longest place I've lived in my life, at just over 11 years. Apparently it's the longest for Nikki. But it's the first that wasn't a rental (that I'm old enough to remember anyway). Sleeping better, has pep again, and it's amazing how much getting out of a bad job situation can do to improve all aspects. Now if we can just sell a house and move to new town, life will be awesome. It wasn't easy, and I freaked out more than once, but the more it comes together the calmer I am. ​ It's nice to have my old happy Nikki back, that's the best part!

bluemoon, Thanks for your comment! I have to admit that although I do think about gender nonbinary and gender nonconforming individuals and issues, I don't end up saying much about it - part of that is because I consider it something that I'm still learning, part of it is based on where I am in terms of transitioning. Having lived for 49 years (more or less - a little less actually) as a "man," and only now living as a woman, I admittedly don't like to let go of all gender norms. When it comes to clothing in particular I'm more likely to use male and female references because I finally get to wear the women's clothing that I feel I should have been all my life! But it is problematic to use gender references when it comes to clothing, people should be perfectly free to wear what they want without thinking about whether or not it fits their gender. So it's something I'm working on :-) Chrissy

when i went shopping a while back with my androgynous ex-girlfriend/fashion consultant, she chose very slim/tight fitting buffalo jeans with spandex for me after i tried on several different ones. the pockets have just enough room for keys and wallet but the keys are a little uncomfortable. the jeans seem very androgynous in style to me, but most people think in binary gender terms and allow little leeway in male clothes so anything not definitely masculine seems feminine to them.

Emma, It's funny you mentioned that about the jeans - recently I was having lunch with a male friend who said that a girl he dated pointed out that he had women's jeans on. He seemed ok with that idea, but wasn't positive - the first question I asked about them (he wasn't wearing them at that moment) was "do they have essentially useless pockets?" (they did, so yes, they were women's jeans). I learned that it's both that the pockets are smaller, and the jeans are partly made of spandex, so they pull in (which means if your keys will fit, they'll hurt because they're being pulled into your leg). Something else re timing that I didn't think about before - I was kind of ready to start transitioning around April or May of that year (2015), but I was working at a school and I did a lot of exam proctoring. Since exams were about to happen, I didn't want the first time students (at least the ones who knew me) seeing me as a woman to be when they're about to take a final exam, so I waited until the semester and exams were done. The nice part was that meant that the students were gone, faculty was gone, and staff were on and off vacation - so I had a couple of months to get used to presenting as a woman at a pretty empty school. So by late August when classes started again I was much more comfortable. xoxo Chrissy

Hi Chrissy, what a wonderful post! I will return to it as there is so much wisdom there. I really feel similar about taking one's time, taking baby steps. I've not transitioned as yet but I see it on the hazy horizon. Some weeks ago I'd made plans to accelerate, to work on so many things at once, so I would present publicly by the end of August. A couple of weeks ago while driving back toward Seattle I found my anxiety increasing, almost to a panic. And then I had an epiphany: it's okay to downshift and go slow and as you said, it's probably for the best at least for you and me. So that's what I'm doing and am enjoying myself a lot more. It feels right, like today I am wearing skinny jeans, a shirt that is pretty androgynous (but is male), and athletic women's pumps. Because of the skinny jeans I can't put my wallet and keys into the pants pockets so I'm bringing a bag that here again can go either way: it's a canvas messenger bag. I'm still a little nervous but it's more like excitement, as I will be meeting with my real estate agent, and later, attending a large party for the Obliteride bicycle ride that I'll be riding on Sunday. Please keep sharing your experiences and advice. You have so much to offer. Best wishes, Emma

Brew, I've experienced acid reflux, still do, it's not fun! The steps you're taking sound good! I also found that stopping eating earlier (several hours before bed) helps, and Prilosec (though that isn't a great long term solution). Over time I've also figured out, and try to avoid, foods that I know will trigger it (sadly that includes ice cream). Good luck with your efforts! Chrissy

Hi Bree, it's great to hear from you but I'm sorry that you're feeling poorly and also, confronting such insurance isssues. I'm fine but will soon also be talking to insurance folks and I am very apprehensive. I'm seeing other specialists now (about trans transition stuff) and am asking them to avoid documenting my preexisting condition. I know you know what I mean. I really hope your pillow and diet control helps you past this. That has to be so worrisome. Just please be careful that you don't wait so long that the issue gets to be so big that, well, it gets too big. The most important thing is your health. XOXO Emma