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The first motivation I had was when I made contact with one of my cousins (I have two that are trans) and her voice was perfect. This was way back in 1978, that was my first attempt at transitioning. She explained to me that by pushing my voice to an octave higher is what I needed to achieve. At the time the BeeGees were all the rage, Saturday Night Fever and all the songs that flowed from that album were in the chart. So thats where I began, and very soon I could feel the muscles developing. My throat became sore, and when that happened I allowed my overstretched larynx to rest. But that of course produced a reasonable falsetto with no tonal quality. I am autistic too, now that came in real handy because imitating people is what we do, its how we learn to interact with others. I started imitating natural female voices, in fact I pick up accents quickly and accurately, a lot autistic people do that apparently. All of these different exercises helped a lot, like training any set of muscles, and eventually a natural tone developed. I eventually went to a voice therapist because I wanted to make sure I hadn't damaged my vocal chords and what she had to say amounted to a brilliant pat on back. She said, "There is absolutely nothing I can do to help you, in fact your voice is exactly how it should sound. You have achieved what I try to teach people in your position, lift the larynx higher up and then slide it backwards." So what I am doing essentially is to use my throat muscles to squeeze the larynx, and then my oral cavity and sinuses for volume control. A better vocal sound is achieved just by singing along with female singers, or male falsetto voices that have a mature tone, I used my favourite Motown group, the Temptations, their falsetto lead was Eddie Kendricks, (and others) and black singers seem to have that more developed voices at higher ranges. Luther Vandross is another good voice trainer, helps with the tonal values. Once the pitch has been achieved its a case of adjusting the tone to create perfection, the more control of the tone is vital, it gives you the ability to bring emotion into the voice, soften and/or harden how you speak. Having a good voice increases confidence, it is key and I have always recommended this any new transitioners to work on it, because it will confuse those bigots like hell.....and I love taking on bigots ​

Dear Not Allowed, Am not transgender, but a cisgender Lesbian who is an ally. Have been mistaken for a transwoman several times. Am a member of the Mid-Hudson Valley Transgender Association. Seems like the bullying comes in waves. Not surprised that this happened after the New Year, because people get on a high through Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. During these three holidays, it seems people are on their best behavior. Am amazed to see this BEHAVIOR in a LIBRARY. Has always been my experience that libraries bring out the best in people, like churches, but no more for either! Had a bad day today. Thank you for your friendship. Gratefully Yours, Monica

​Hi Monica, I really hope that you are able to overcome what appears to be a terrible time you are having at the moment. I don't know your transition history but building up a resistance to these bullies is vital, its not easy but the more you are able to the easier it becomes. Hurtful words and verbal attacks are dreadful but please remember that it says more about them than you. I know thats cold comfort when all you want to do is be yourself, but try not to isolate yourself too much. Is there any transgender support where you live like groups and clubs perhaps? If I can be of any help with advice etc, please let me know, (((hug)))