Thank you Monica, I know it seems sad but it was not something I could see while I was in the relationship. Even though my sisters did tell me several times that I was being a doormat, but I knew that when we finally split up it was not because of a lack of effort on my part.
I am very doubtful at the moment that I will have any future relationships. Doomed not to be held or have grown up snuggles on the sofa, but I never got them thrughout most of my marriage... so one thing at a time.
Lets see who I am first !