Dear Dawn,
To me, the major determinant as to a person being a woman or a man is behavior.
In high school, I had a Straight girlfriend who was 6'4". Also in high school, I knew a 3'8" man, who was also Straight. Have known men and women of every shape and size, of all genders and sexual orientations.
Heavy and fine bones are found in both men and women.
Ultimately, I look between the ears as character is all-important.
Dawn, I find you very ladylike.
As for myself, I was accused as being butch on the outside and fem on the inside, when what I really am is a well-mannered mid-butch Lesbian.
Think we should strive for consistency in behavior, while leaving room to grow. Behavior should steadily change for the better as we grow.
Your friend,
Monica