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Dear DeeDee, It is hard to tell one child and not another. This happened to me. I was 19 years old and I learned I had a half-brother (and my father was married before). What really hurt was that my youngest brother was told at age 9! And my older brothers even earlier. We became a "secret-keeping family," where I had to "guess" at reality!! Two comments I would like to make: Women can be as strong as men, if not stronger. Just look at all the single mothers out there. Homosexuality and being transgender tends to run in families. Am a cisgender mid-butch Lesbian, and my middle brother is bi-sexual (I suspect he is "all the way Gay," because he married early and truly explored his sexuality in his 40's, and he and his wife are still together because they have long-term serious illnesses and come from extremely homophobic families). In my opinion, when people are living together, if you tell one, you have to tell all, at the level of their understanding. In AA and Al-Anon, there's a saying, "you are as sick as your secrets." This doesn't mean to spill your guts publicly, but to live authentically. Yours in Sisterhood, Monica