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Self examination and fear of unknown



Hi all


As always non cryptic headings.



This week was endo week and yes the vampires took blood from me twice.  Results were good and I didn't fear any of it.


Now last night, not as per usual.  But with usual actions led me to self examination.  Yes, I've been wiping myself since the beginning of times and felt an irregularity last night.  Started feeling myself, not out of being horny or anything, but feeling something I'm not use too.  Thought at the beginning that I imagined something and found a lump by my hoohaa.


Yes, a lump and the mass isn't dense just a softish density of an almost roundish to oval shape.  No fears right, none at all.  So off to bed I went.


Now, I'm growing kind of apprehensive because I know the negatives that goes with it and I also realize that I don't want to be sick in front of my mother that came for a funeral, because she wouldn't want to leave, and will end in making me more anxious.


I also have to work irregular hours for the next week or so as it is national elections here.  So I'll just be strong as I don't and can't afford to be sick now, I've got 100's of policemen and women relying on me, not including the public members that are bordering close to half a million people.  And yes, I'm a firm believer of the protection being healthy and strong to perform their duties.  I'll be in an office directing and redirecting everyone.


I will look after myself as soon as I am capable of booking myself in for medical treatments, make that surgery to illuminate or strengthen all fears that I'm just human too...



Cheers for now

Lots of hugs



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Hiya Michele. I Am Sorry My Darling, that You have found a lump, where a lump Did Not ought to be. Because there is Cancer in My Own Family, ( Big-Time ), if I find a lump, it has to be checked out by the Doctor's immediately. Michele, I Am going to make a suggestion. How about measuring the size of the lump, writing it down in a notepad, then, maybe 3 Day's later, re-checking the size, to see if it has altered, but, still making a note, and doing this, until You are able to get it Properly checked-out. Sweetheart, It Is Only Natural, that You are going to be Worried, and Apprehensive. You Would Not bebHuman, and Female to go with It, so You are bound to Worry. Michele Honey, We Know that You are a Very Hard Worker, but, Please get it Checked-Out, WHEN You Can. If You Need to Talk, or Anything Else, You Know Where I Am. I Know You have got Your Mother staying with You as well, and that Can be Stressful, when You are So Busy At Work, and then having the Lump as well. Michele, Good Luck Sweetheart. Take Care Honey, Because I Care !! And My Very Best Wishes Michele, to You, and Your Family. Big Hugs, and Love, Stephanie. xxxxxxxx 

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Hi there Steph


No my mom is visiting.


I worked in an oncology ward when I was a nurse.  Operative word was.  I also have cancer in my family, and would prefer the worst part of work to be over before finding out that chemo is the next step.  That is the part freaking me out.  My luscious locks will be effected and I definitely will be crying once the diagnoses starts.  Not my first cancer scare, and the part where death becomes me, isnt the scary part.  Made peace with that millennia ago.  Okay, here my vanity comes in, even though I don't view myself as super model hot, I don't think I'm unsightly ugly just naturally more to the proportional side of average to beautiful, make that cuteish.


The thing that will surprise most people are:

1.  I've alwys been the caretaker when someone fell ill

2. Even when I fell ill, no one was supposed or still are suppose to touch me, as I will and can take care of myself

3.  I'm not the best person to treat at home, because I'll make myself comfortable and expect worying eyes to just buzz off.

4.  If I need help I will give specific instructions just for that instance.


So I know people mean good when assisting me, but it irritates me more the you could imagine.


Tha​nks for the well wishes, will work it out in time when where and how I'll be immobile.





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Hiya Michele. You Young Lady, are Definitely NOT UGLY. You are a Very Beautiful; Pretty; Young Lady, and You are Definitely Cute !  You are far more Lovely than Me ! Mind You, I Am getting Old !! Michele, I understand Your concern's over Chemotherapy, I have had So Many Friend's, and Relatives who have gone through it. I Did Not Know, that You have gone through Cancer before. Young Lady, You I Know, are very independent, and I Am very similar in that sense. I Am very independent, and used to doing thing's for Myself. I do Not make for being a very patient Patient !! L.O.L.  Michele, I Sincerely hope, that You have NOT got cancer. However, You Know, that I Am routeing for You Honey. Michele, having Your Mother visiting, and Not wanting to tell Her - Very Hard !  Michele, Good Luck, Take Care Sweetheart, Big Hugs, And My Very Best Wishes, Love Stephanie. xxxxxxxx 

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Hi Michele, we are all rooting for you and wishing you well. I'll not advise that you take care of yourself but I am certainly thinking it. Let us know how it all turns out.

Best wishes,


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Hiya Michele. How Are You Young Lady ? Okay, I Hope Sweetheart ! Michele, how has the Policing for the Election's gone ? Very Busy, I suspect is too much of an Understatement !! Michele, More Importantly, How is Your Health News ? Have You had Any Diagnosis yet ? Sweetheart, I Know that waiting is Horrid ! I have been there Myself ! A few year's ago, I had a lump removed from the top of My back. It was Originally thought that it was Cancer. Fortunately, it was Benign. The waiting for News, was Awful. So Michele, I therefore feel for You Honey. You Know that I Am routeing for You, and keeping Everything Crossed, that the News is Good News; Not Vica-Versa ! Michele, Please stay in touch. Good Luck; Take Care; Big Hugs; And My Very Best Wishes; Love Stephanie. xxxxxxxx 

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