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Ups and Downs




Just a quick update sadly yesterday one of the press I emailed about transgender and bullying rejected my story. But I will keep going.

The other thing I have noticed is that the few people who I have spoken too about coming out as transgender have said how brave and heroic it is that I have been open about it. I do not if I am brave or heroic but it is wonderful to  have people who say such nice things. I know that I am truly blessed to have such kind people to support me and I know not everyone is so lucky.

Also all these people who have said such nice things have also asked me "why is it such a problem if you are transgender if you are happy and it does not hurt anybody then you should be who you are and not have to hide it" I wish I had an answer


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I've also had several people tell me how brave or courageous I am for coming out, and for being, transgender. And as you say it's wonderful to keep those people in mind especially when we have down feelings or worries or are criticized. 

Why shouldn't we just be happy and live accordingly? We should but each of has his/her own personal responsibilities, inner demons, and social considerations that they need to try to balance and come to terms with. Like myself, I endured for more than a half century to confront and understand myself and to slowly push the boundaries toward transition. In the US (and, it seems, in some European places) younger people are growing up with more open-minded parents, and are thus coming out and being themselves earlier and more naturally. And, they also have puberty-delaying drugs that enable them and their parents to mature into having a more confident decision about which gender they really are. 

So, the answer? There isn't a single answer. As all people, transgender or cisgender, are different, each person's situation is unique and their own.

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Dear Charlotte and Emma,

There have been some situations where people AT FIRST supported a transgendered person, but then changed their mind (probably under pressure from their family and friends).

This has also happened to me as a Lesbian.

Yours truly,


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That's happened to me too with being androgynous and with intersex disclosure. Sometimes it involves pressure from family or friends, but sometimes through their own insecurity about what their family or friends will think about them. They fear that their gender status or general social status will be questioned or compromised. A girlfriend that was particularly drawn to my female aspects loved that we could be secret lesbians except to close friends that we knew would accept us. She had been occasionally attracted to other women but was too afraid about what others would think to become sexually involved with them.

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