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FTM and masculinity

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One of the things that Ive had to face as a FTM is that apparently, if your not super manly or just masculine and into masculine things, that it makes you less of a transman or  an attention-seeker. Me being the not so masculine trans guy, this just sucks. Even within our own trans community there are still people who try to invalidate other trans people, just so they themselves can feel more valid. Well truth is, that whether or not you wear makeup, wear dresses, and just all round appear more feminine, it doesn't have anything to do with your gender! Express yourself in anyway that makes you guys comfortable. Not every guy has to have facial hair and not every guy needs a super low voice either. I would know I had a cis friend who's voice LITERALLY made him sound like a girl. So you do you my fluffy people. I personally have been looked down upon just because I identify as male and use makeup, like what does that have to do with my gender??? I have no clue why people do this, it's like a race to see who's more valid than the next guy? Why can't we just accept that we are all valid and different in our own special way? That's just how the world works. Im sorry if my thoughts seem a bit incoherent, I'm not a very good writer. I just wanted to write some feelings and experiences down every once in a while.

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Mero, I agree completely with you. I have an acquaintance here locally who is also FTM, whose appearance is not so masculine, and he feels the same as you.

I don’t know why some people try to pick themselves up by putting others down. This happens everywhere it seems, even in trans communities which is so hurtful, nasty, and counter to how I feel we all ought to be.

As an MTF I wonder if in some ways it’s harder to be FTM especially if you are located in a more traditional male-dominated society. In places like that it’s hard for a man to be manly “enough”. 

Regardless, you’re a man no matter what you wear or enjoy doing. A rather strong man from what I can tell by your writing. Welcome to TG Guide. I hope to hear more from you.

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Dear Mero,

Just as in the cisgender male community, there is a SPECTRUM of degrees of masculinity.

Men and women, both trans and cisgender, should learn to celebrate diversity and respect one another. Unfortunately, it takes longer for some than others! 😉

Yours truly,


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