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Everything posted by Daneela

  1. Daneela

    Some books

    I was quite surprised to find Dr. Benjamin's The Transsexual Phenomenon online at http://www.mut23.de/...Phenomenon.pdf. Although criticized for incomplete explanations of all the relevant medical science, I found these two books to be illuminating regarding the influences of estrogen, progesterone and testosterone upon the brain throughout our lives: The Female Brain at http://www.drlumd.co...emale-Brain.pdf and The Male Brain at
  2. Daneela

    Thoughts on Caitlyn Jenner

    Compare and contrast with Chaz Bono, Janet Mock. Seems to me that Chaz was also a celebrity but that focus on him was less and of shorter duration. Janet is known as an activist, qualifying as a spokesperson whose opinions and knowledge have helped keep the "conversation" on-topic. Laverne Cox is celebrated for her beauty and acting on OITNB. What happens when the program ends? Transwomen have shocked American, and possibly all western, cultures for many decades, from Christine Jorgensen to Chelsea Manning, igniting the "flames of hell" with each celebrity outing. I'm sure there were others before Ms. Jorgensen but am not familiar with that part of history. We'll progress more quickly when we no longer shock them. Crossing my fingers.
  3. Daneela

    Unethical Therapy

    It's okay to wonder if they will find your journey acceptable to them. It's another double-standard that unless we are transitioning, we cannot really be transsexuals. Well, that's their standard; here at TGGuide, we seldom express judgments like that, even if we individually feel them. I like to think that, "We know better!"
  4. Someone followed up on the irrational urge to charge the Alcorns with child abuse, saying such response would be inappropriate and flameful, at least. I agree. I agree that the Alcorn family's acceptance and approval were decidedly not provided unconditionally; does that mean that the definition of love is acceptance and approval? Seems so in this family. Almost certainly, they will eulogize and bury their son Josh, who gave himself up so that Leelah got a chance to live. Worst is that Leelah knew her 18th birthday would change her legal status but couldn't see reaching that date and finding help to overcome the Christian Love of her parents. I can understand why and it points out that we need to communicate even more that we and our allies are ready, willing and able to help and to support each other as we journey.
  5. Jeez-oh-Pete's-sake! It's not even close enough to the front! But, there are those who always make something from nothing. I hope this dies of its own accord and soon.
  6. Emma, I think of you as a little sister, too. HUGG
  7. Daneela


    I can't see when I last posted or even what I said. I'm certain, though, it was quite some time ago. Many things were different than before and are different than now. I've probably said before that I'm an alcoholic, though not recovering. I used it to drug myself into rest for the night. For over a decade, I had no trouble arising and going to work when I had a job. Nor did I drink more while I was looking for a job. Things seemed stable. I'm sure I've described how stressful my last two jobs were - lodging and money, daily uncertainty that I would still have the job the next day. Each was far enough from home that I was alone in my hotel, which is what I prefer in those cases. Actually, my last two job searches haven't caused hardships. Maybe I've gotten better or maybe the market for my skillset has returned to the US. Anyway, I was offered this 9-month contract at a relatively low rate but in an application I hadn't learned yet but that was trying to replace the application I'd been programming with the last 15 years. Since the two programs are nothing alike on the other side of the screen, programming with the "new" app was difficult at first. I needed a few months of intense study before I understood enough to read through someone's else's customization from the past. When I did, I saw immediately that the style that was followed resulted in code that was extremely hard to read, even if you understood every line. IMO, it was unmaintainable and TG it was only a proof-of-concept and didn't have to be used any more. So, then I learned enough to copy what I needed out of the old code to write my new customization. I've developed a style over my 29 year career by adopting many of the practices I've learned from other professionally developed programs. I, of course, choose only the ones that produce the best results - correct, concise, well documented, maintainable code. Since the client I work most closely with is also a developer and knew the old code, my style was not what he and my employer had used before, and my designs were different that ones they'd seen in the past. Those changes made them uncomfortable, so at first, they added "fixes" using their old style. The mixture was really ugly. After 6-8 weeks of me writing, debugging, testing and documenting the first feature, they started looking more deeply and doing user-level tests. They found some bugs that I was able to fix in a matter of hours (not days or weeks ) and that fact impressed them as well. The low number of bugs improved their confidence, too. After they'd learned all of what I'd designed and written, they were happy to leave me alone, doing things my way because they were sure it would end up good. The client even said that he'd learned quite a lot from me already that he'd continue doing for the rest of his career. Although the client manager thinks he is preventing me from "stressing out," by not telling me his schedule, his milestones, his deadlines, I have no clue whether I need to change my plans to accomodate his needs. He receives changes from the users all the time and I have to be flexible, nothing new there. The uncertainty, though, did increase my stress. That added stress cause me to drink more heavily. I realized just Friday morning that I'd lost my grip on the addiction. It was now risking my work, my job, too often for me to ignore. Friday, I turned off the tap and haven't had anything since. I don't intend to start again, but relapse can happen. Care about me and send me your spare power, please. Thanks.
  8. Scared my therp the day before Thanksgiving by describing that morning's Google searches and hits for my medications and which stated that "Overdose may be fatal" and that I could make a serious attempt while leaving enough doses in normal condition that COD could be ambiguous; really bad dysphoria that day, something that has never happened to me before. Scheduled for the 1st to reassure him I'd made it through the weekend. Still here, still impoverished in many, many ways, still burdened with no relief in sight.
  9. Not to mention even his "facts" about AIDS are wrong; not all AIDS patients are LGBT, many are women and mothers in Africa. Even in the USA, there are non-LGBT patients.
  10. Yes, I believe they will make the case that tampering with our God-given bodies and our destinies, we are abominations, just as they've claimed of all TLBGQ animals. I don't know what the courts will decide, where they will draw a line, as SCOTUS tried to do by writing that this ruling applies _only_ to closely held firms funding of ACA insurance benefits. Since our opposition will be cherry-picking, I hope everyone likes pie.
  11. This story was the second headline in Charleston's _Post_and_Courier today. They used the girl's picture as well. Transgender Legal and Education (something) is working on this case. I don't recall any interview with her or her parents but several statements from DMV employees. They cite the law, just as Michael has done, but some seem to be allied. The story points out there is no third option and that SC is lagging the rest of the nation on these issues. Law enforcement officials point out that they are "instructed" to treat apparent females as women whether they are wearing makeup or not as makeup is _expected_ of females and not expected of males. Don't look for this to resolve in our favor anytime soon.
  12. Daneela

    Just Gender

    I read HuffPo Gay Voices almost daily now. A recent blog entry was written in response to the advice that we should just ignore the gender voice, marry and have kids and everyone will be happy, problem solved. The blogger informed that pundit about the broken marriages, the lifelong lies to spouse and kids and the scars left behind by the tragic betrayal, not to mention those inflicted by suicides. The norms can't get it because they're fully cis-hetero and cannot even imagine our realities. Heck, they can't even imagine our levels of depression. Lady help us.
  13. As a citizen of South Carolina, my "bleeding heart" and I find SC anything but "modern." At the moment, we have a Tea Party Governor who refuses the ACA expansions, a very conservative legislature and all kinds of beliefs that cannot be reconciled with facts. According to their constitution, children are entitled to the "minimum education" necessary, probably to the point that they can read a document and sign their names. To know about SC, just follow the news stories in Slate and HuffPo. Our previous Governor, Mark Sanford, left on a trip a few years ago and didn't even tell his security; it turned out he was visiting his _soulmate_ and her kids in Argentina. Now, he's a House Representative!! IMO, our senior Senator, Lindsay (?) Graham is a staunch Republican unless there's some pork for the state. Almost no elections include candidates from anything but the GOP and libertarions; guess which wins. At least it's not TX.
  14. Daneela

    Web site captca issue

    I've seldom guessed the captcha characters correctly the first time. Being hard of hearing as well, I've never used the "audio" links provided by some sites. I just keep being bull-headed stubborn until something I can recognize shows up.
  15. Daneela

    Hair Removal

    And since most of my hairs are grey, laser is out. I'm instead doing facial hair removal the hard way: let it grow until I can pluck it using my fingers. This way, my "beard" looks mostly full and I should eventually get all the follicles.
  16. Daneela

    Olympics and Anti-gay Countries

    The greatest difficulty I see with such a policy is what happened for the Solchi games. Solchi was selected years ago. Between the times of selection and the actual games, the "homosexual propaganda" ban came about. The only actions possible were to plan on canceling the games and lobbying for repeal of the ban. The first is unpalatable because the athletes and audience become victims. Lobbying isn't likely to be effective and frankly not something that should result in attempts at coercion, imo, as nations should be permitted to determine their own courses within the international community just as in the USA states can pretty much make their own policies.
  17. To fully reflect myself, I will use TLBGQ. This way I am "saying" I identify first as a MtF transsexual, second as lesbian, and partially a bisexual. I include gays and queer/questioning in the full community, though not everyone includes us. It is what it is, I guess.
  18. Daneela

    Trans Billionaire Reporting for Duty

    In a HuffPo article this week, a military commission presented the results of their study of the purported reasons the military has proffered for their policies, mostly "medical" related. Cited were different needs, greater expense, less available treatments, etc. The study found none of these to be credible. As I recall, the San Francisco government offered the same excuses for excluding T from health care coverage until their research found the extra costs came to less than $20 per person.
  19. Daneela

    Cox & Carrera Castigate Couric!!

    To me, it's not pleasant that Ms Couric's response implicates how proud she is of her "teaching moment."
  20. Sadly, I had a social worker employed by the VA hospital this week state that job discrimination, such as my firing in 2007, was illegal. Worse, she didn't seem shocked or even surprised when I corrected her.
  21. Daneela

    Trans Day of Empowerment

    I like this idea. I propose it be exactly 6 months from the TDOR. I'm sure you can appreciate the symbolism I intend by this.
  22. Congratulations GreenShade. I know you can do it. Even though I'm just a lowly member, I want to voice my approval. HUGG
  23. Even before I followed the link in the post and from there to the history, all I could think was, "Of course, this _would_ be happening in Texas." You see, I lived there for 19 months and was fired for not being hetero-. And yes, if it happens anywhere, those who believe similarly will use that to bolster their arguments. Conversely, events that favor us are used by our activists, too.
  24. Daneela

    New Law Requires Gender-neutral Bathrooms

    I was fulfilling a temporary contract last winter/spring in the Philadelphia area when they passed a law that all _new_ buildings would be required to do the same. According to this story's first paragraph, this laws extends the practice to all city-owned buildings, perhaps whether they are used for city business or not. YAY We shall overcome.