UsernameOptional

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Everything posted by UsernameOptional

  1. UsernameOptional added a post in a topic New Server   

    the first day or two after the change over, i would get an error message that implied there wasn't enough memory or something. happened when i would clik on someone's username to get to their profile so i could pm or email them. but it hasn't happened since.

    i notice since, however, that pages seem to load slower. but i guess that's a heck of a lot better than being without the forums all together
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  2. UsernameOptional added a post in a topic Wives and significant others   

    wow... seems this thread just got outta hand.

    ks, i'm sorry you felt it necessary to name your S/O here on the forum especially in light of the fact that you are quite unhappy...perhaps even bitter. but i have to ask... based on what you've described in this and the thread you began on 27 june (Just Wondering), do you really think your S/O would have gotten involved in this discussion if what you state were exactly how things have happened?

    some have questioned if you've interpreted your S/O's intentions and meanings incorrectly, if perhaps the hurt isn't clouding your view on all this. your anger is most apparent in all your posts, and your insults have surfaced even here. i can't help but wonder what more goes on off this forum. if your discussions with your S/O is fraught with such insults, and the inability to get past that which she has apologized for...how do you expect any communication with her to begin or improve?

    you commend amanda on a wonderful relationship. it's my opinion that whenever your S/O came out to you, the news was not taken well. different people handle that in different ways. some will continue to try to commincate their feelings and get their partner to understand the world they live in. some will try for only a while then give up. some will clam up almost immediately at the first sign of intolerance. somewhere along the line you've displayed your inability to try to understand or support...that's why things are the way they are between you.

    i don't mean to cause you more hurt, ks, but it just seems to me that while you demand that your S/O and everyone else understand how you feel, it doesn't appear that you even try to understand how she feels. we've expressed to you that we are well aware of how any form of TG affects those around us...but you've not responded to that. because of that, i can't help but think you've somehow come here to get someone to agree that what your S/O is doing (or how she feels) is wrong.

    i'm sorry to say, you will not find that here. what you will find is empathy and support...if you'll just try to open up as much as your S/O did when she first found the courage to tell you of her true self. i know you indicated in another post that your S/O will not go to therapy. fine. you go. make the first step. if she sees you are trying to make a go of this, perhaps she will have a change of heart. i don't see this improving without the help of a professional - whether you go alone or together

    -michael


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  3. UsernameOptional added a post in a topic New Moderators!   

    thanks everyone..

    -michael
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  4. UsernameOptional added a post in a topic What binder   

    thanks to chris42, lostinwonderland, and others in the past who've recommended underworks, i've finally purchased one - the double panel #997 as mentioned in dev's post. mine is XL and i'm pretty happy with it.

    anyone who can use a medium binder, i would highly recommend you getting in touch with dev - i don't think you'll be displeased. max_the_T_guy has a binder also - but he doesn't say what brand or what "strength"...

    "...when I am able to be me, it's usually afternoons or weekends..." -Dev
    i know the feeling - that's the only time i can be myrealself, too... for now.

    "i have also heard that the underworks don't fit was well on smaller chested guys because the sizes run large." -lostinwonderland
    i've not heard this, so can offer no info as i'm not a real small guy. perhaps some others can let us know their experiences too.

    according to the underworks' sizing, i should have purchased a large - i was at the highest end of large. i considered buying one each large and extra-large because the binders/vests/shirts can be returned. but i took a chance and went with XL - i'm glad i did.

    underworks has a variety of compression shirts, so it could be a matter of finding a different style if a guy is small chested AND small framed. on average tho... seems model #997 is the popular shirt.

    -michael
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  5. UsernameOptional added a post in a topic TG Gal's Bathroom Blues   

    all i have to say is that was a sorry excuse for an interview. patrick fraser/howard finklestien should have done some homework on transsexuals before doing this piece. his ignorance and lack of concern for properly adressing a transwoman (or any transperson) is disgusting at best. his bigotry screamed loud and clear right past his B.S. journalism.

    i believe because of the way in which this interview was conducted, the end results will end up exactly as i described earlier in this thread - the public will never remember the issue. thanks to fraser/finklestein, you can be sure of that.

    -michael
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  6. UsernameOptional added a post in a topic TG Gal's Bathroom Blues   

    "Does it matter that she isn't beautiful?" -Monique
    it shouldn't...but we unfortunately live in a country where emphasis and priorty are placed on beauty. because of this, TG/TS women must work doubly hard at meeting these society-mandated standards in the looks department. no different than the saying that a minority must be twice as good as a non-minority to be considered half as good.

    "There are lots of cisgendered who are a plastic surgeron (sic) nightmares too." -Monique
    very true that there are cisgendered individuals who are addicted to plastic surgery, and those who are plastic surgery nitemares. but here's where i believe the difference is:

    a cisgendered individual, especially a woman, is not normally critisized for having any type of plastic surgery done. women are bombarded with the "requirement" to always look good - look beautiful at all costs. many women do not fall into this black hole, but many do. there are reality shows - "oh i'm soooo ugly i can't function...make me pretty!!" sad thing is, many of those women are not all that bad looking. but the pressures of society convinces them so.

    a cisgendered woman who seeks damages for surgeries that have gone wrong is, for the most part, looked upon with empathy and sympathy whether she got the surgery due to scars from an accident, or just plain vanity. if she's gone to the media with her plight, the media attacks the industry, and places no blame or disgrace on the woman. what do people remember about the woman? that she was horribly wronged.

    on the other hand, a TG/TS woman who's plastic surgery has gone wrong or is to the extreme is looked upon as a freak, an abomination - she deserved what she got. that her surgeries went wrong take a back seat to the "fact" that, in the cisgendered world, "she" is a sick MAN. HE has a problem. suddenly, the viewing public only thinks about the MAN who THINKS he's a woman - the failed surgeries (and the issue in this case) are forgotten.

    in the viewers' minds HE shouldn't be in the women's room. period. this woman has chosen to air her issue in a public setting, one that subjects us all to an unfavourable light if she presented as horribly as annie saw on previews. her issue will be all but forgotten, but the public will remember the "queer" - the type of person they don't want around their children or themselves.

    it's a no-win situation.

    -michael
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  7. UsernameOptional added a post in a topic What binder   

    hi chris, and welcome to tg guide forums.

    i would think, simply by the phrases themselves that there is a difference.

    women will sometimes have breast reduction if they are very large. sometimes due to health problems, like the weight causing back or shoulder pain; a doctor's concern that a woman may not heal in a timely manner after open-heart surgey; or some women feel more free to have breast reduction rather than suffer the discomfort of over-endowment nowadays.

    in our world, most guys want "top surgery." to the best of my knowledge, this usually means having all excess tissue removed, not just reduced. some also call it chest reconstruction.

    if you are FTM, maybe you could luck out and get your doc to "reduce" your chest down to almost nothing... especially if that's your choice - i've heard of no minimum when it comes to breast reduction, but that doesn't mean the medical world doesn't have some twisted notion about that, too. you could end up killing two birds with one stone - come out with an almost male chest, and have the procedure covered by insurance as a beneficial reduction...

    perhaps someone here knows more about what doctors will or will not allow when it comes to reduction, or if it all boils down to finding the right doc and what the patient wants

    -michael
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  8. UsernameOptional added a post in a topic What binder   

    i know the feeling, nick. i won't look at myself when i'm not dressed. what bugs me the most when i have clothes on is the bouncing. it disgusts me.

    i'm on the hunt for a binder/vest. just can't decide which way to go.

    -michael
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  9. UsernameOptional added a post in a topic What binder   

    "It's everyone's choice how to bind. We should stop the loaded comments. Exaggerating aspects that are no big deal (like, oh, darn, your parents think a joint's bugging you) is just going to hurt your case." -Mykell

    1. you bet...it IS everyone's choice. you gather your information, consider offered advice, and make your decision. no one's taking that away from anyone.

    2. i've made no "loaded comments." what i post here comes from 3 sources:
    ....a ) experience
    ....b ) common sense
    ....c ) experience of guys who've passed thru here before you and me and left their experiences in writing in these forums and other places

    anything i have no experience with, cannot find information on, or cannot think out logically, i ask questions about and make no pretense that i know what i'm talking about.

    3. i've exaggerated nothing. what i said was, "if I were a parent..." that wasn't an exaggeration, it was a hypothetical situation. and you can bet yer bottom dollar if i were a concerned parent of a minor, and found articles intended for remedying medical problems in my kid's room...i'd be asking questions. i think any GOOD parent should and would.

    whether you endorse a method or not, simply indicating that it's a choice you make on occasion is enough to make younger guys think it just might be okay. that's my only concern and why i indicate the problems that could occur, and offer safer methods.

    and yes, i think we'd all agree...the sports bras do work pretty well.

    -michael
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  10. UsernameOptional added a post in a topic What binder   

    Nick, and all you other young guys -

    i understand that a lot of teens or college students don't have credit cards or the extra money to purchase new commmercially manufactured binders and compression vests.

    granted ace bandages can be easy to conceal from mom or dad...but if i were a parent and did happen to find ace bandages in my kid's room, first thing i'd wonder is what kind of injury the kid is suffering and why hasn't he told me about it. i'd be going to him and asking what the bandages were for. sure, you could lie and say some joint has been bothering you...but that could land you a trip to the doctor - for no reason.

    a sports bra would be the way to go. as a female-bodied individual, who's gonna question a damn bra?? no one. you can get a decent sport bra in walmart for under 10 bucks. lay off the CDs and other crap for a little while and you'll have the $10 for a safe method of concealing UFO's (from PvtScotty, for "unwanted female objects" )

    another alternative would be to check out Big Brothers Used Binder Program. it is for transmen (no TG Butch or drag kings) who cannot afford a new binder. i'm sure if you have questions for which you can find no answers in FAQs, nick will be willing to help you out. the program is very strict because good, used affordable binders are hard to come by. but i'm sure with a little patience, and compliance with the rules, you may be able to obtain a good binder.

    -michael
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  11. UsernameOptional added a post in a topic What's it like?   

    mowgli -

    lol...wow, what a reply! from me, that's a complement, because while i can be long winded (handed? ) on occasion...i don't always like reading long posts or replies. but you kept my interest - no doubt!

    "Why do I like to crossdress? (You ask for an explanation, I'll give you an explanation. Or maybe it was Mykell who asked...)"
    actually, mykell asked "what's it like to crossdress?" after a few replies to his question, i tried to better explain what mykell was trying to ask by saying "...i think for a lot of us guys, we just don't understand crossdressing in itself."

    i think i've pretty much digested all you've tried to explain to me. and to mykell, too. however, there was one thing you mentioned that perhaps explains more for me than all the reasons you gave for why you are a crossdresser only...and not a transsexual - "...this transwoman said she hated being forced to use the boys' bathroom growing up because she felt so out of place. I would have enjoyed using the girls' room as appropriate if I could have gone out dressed like a girl, but I never felt like I didn't belong in the boys' room."

    this, i understand, as i've always felt i should have been in the boy's/men's room at a urinal, and felt completely out of place in a girl's/women's room.

    perhaps this one thing could serve as the beginning of me understanding crossdressers.

    -michael
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  12. UsernameOptional added a post in a topic What's it like?   

    "I remember how one in particular used to loudly guffaw to us about his latest encounter with someone shocked to see a big burly man in a skirt. It was the thrill of his week to be "read."" -Annie
    having been here for about a year now, i don't doubt this occurs. but like Mykell, i just can't understand it hard as i try. which presents another problem - i don't like that i don't understand because it causes me to compare myself to those who don't understand TS people. however, i accept the CD person, which i suppose does put me a notch above those who neither understand nor accept any of us.

    "Now i'm confused.... i don't know which category i fit into. -Rachel
    that's easy...you are a lady.

    "You NEVER have to eye the 'add reply' button warily!!!" -LisaElizabeth
    you don't know well yet! i have a knack for trying to stir things up...and you women are so passionate. dunno if you are old enough to remember flip wilson...but if you are, well, the devil makes me do it..

    all kidding aside, tho, i do get your point - why? because one wants to.

    and thanks for the LBD explaination. i wondered too, but sometimes ego won't lemme ask some things...lol. i knew it had to be something simple...but since i've never had a "LBD," guess i had no reason to know what "LBD" stood for.

    -michael
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  13. UsernameOptional added a post in a topic What's it like?   

    "I don't think that's what Michael meant at all... "crossdressing" because we identify as the "opposite" gender and we just don't know it yet, I understand. It's crossdressing when you do identify with your birth gender that I can't seem to grasp." -Mykell

    exactly


    some time ago, i threw out the theory that the reason there are so many lesbian transwomen is because homophobia is driven hard into the heads of males from a very young age, and that many transwomen cannot get past that. this was, of course, pretty much shot down. (so as not to get THIS thread thrown off track, readers can view that particular thread HERE.)

    now, i've also had another theory, but never voiced it for fear of another uprising... -
    since coming to TG/TS chats and forums, i am of the opinion that there really is no such thing as a "crossdresser."

    my reason for believing this: i have seen many who when i first "met" them, proclaimed to be crossdressers only - non-TG, hetero males who only liked to don women's clothing on occasion, did not feel like "a woman trapped in a man's body," and with no feelings what-so-ever for transitioning, nor would they ever have such feelings. later, these same avowed crossdressers announced that they needed to transition.

    so maybe there isn't anything to understand about crossdressing by non-TG, hetero males, because maybe there's really no such thing. perhaps ALL crossdressers are TS - just some don't know it yet, and others perhaps cannot or will not admit it.

    <eyes the "Add Reply" button>
    <takes a deep breath>
    <hits the button>
    <hunkers down and prepares for the fallout>

    -michael
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  14. UsernameOptional added a post in a topic What's it like?   

    perhaps mykell will correct me if this is not the case with him, but i think for a lot of us guys, we just don't understand crossdressing in itself.

    i personally can understand a person dressing as female if that person is a MTF transsexual. to me, because i don't understand crossdressing, there's no reason to want to wear women's clothing unless one is MTF. this is one area of the TG world that i wish i understood better.

    i suppose quite unfairly, crossdressing is primarily associated with genetic men. no one thinks twice about genetic females wearing men's clothing, or, "crossdressing."

    for most FTMs, we do not consider ourselves crossdressers because we are simply dressing as any male would. we are wearing what we're supposed to

    -micheal
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  15. UsernameOptional added a post in a topic What binder   

    i'm quite concerned about some of you guys in your late teens and very early 20s implying that using binding methods such as ace bandages are no big deal. this is dangerous advice for the ones even younger than you because the really young ones are more prone to listen to those closer to their own age than some of us older ones.

    ace bandages are dangerous. bottom line. if they weren't dangerous, or a poorer method of binding, you wouldn't make comments like "it stops hurting after about 20 minutes," or "i...had to go all zen to not be in pain after like 8 hours."

    you might not have felt pain after 20 minutes because you'd probably gone numb! and if you have to go out on some mental trip just to pretend there's nothing wrong, there's a serious problem.

    using ace bandages can and will cause damage to the skin, underlying flesh, the chest cavity and even the lungs themselves. they can also inhibit proper breathing.

    if you want to help your younger brothers, advise AGAINST ace bandages, share the pitfalls you've experienced with aces, and recommend to them SAFER ways to bind.

    -michael
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  16. UsernameOptional added a post in a topic that "bulge"?   

    "...and I did not want to offend anyone with the "real thing" remark. It's just my poor use of wording. -Samantha
    i don't think you would have offended anyone samantha - not intentionally. you were trying to help. i was really surprised last nite to see that the last reply on this thread was from a woman. it never occurred to me that one of you ladies could actually be of help to the guys when it came to packing and underwear. a bit of ignorance on my part perhaps.

    "I'm kind of wondering.... How does packing + panties work??? There's no space in panties for them! Or do the panties just get stretched or something?" -Mykell
    actually, there is one brand that i know of (there may be more) that are quite comfortable and hold a packy well. i believe they are fruit of the loom, briefs, cotton, with a tall waist band like jockey shorts. i would only wear them until i found Life briefs - there is one variety that has a "formed" pouch. i prefer them for two reasons: 1. it's men's underwear, 2. they are a heavier cotton than the women's briefs. i sweat a lot. silky underwear makes me sweat more. i prefer the heavier men's cotton briefs because they are more absorbent.

    -michael
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  17. UsernameOptional added a post in a topic that "bulge"?   

    Samantha -

    thanks for the imput, sweet. but the difference is, the real thing may not "fall out" but if it did, it won't "fall down," as in fall down your pants leg. this is what pre- or non-op transmen must protect against.

    the panties you mention may be okay for the younger guys who perhaps have not made the brave move to men's department, or like you said must still wear women's underwear because they are still at home and thier laundry may be scrutinized by a parent. but for some of us older ones who haven't worn women's underwear in years, and the guys who've transitioned - not only would we not be caught dead in "panties," it's rather difficult to even shop for them.

    for me personally...it's tough enough having to buy a bra. that is the only article of female clothing i own. i put it off until the current garments are barely recognizable for what they are...then i must literally force myself to buy replacements. no way i'm gonna hang around long enough to find panties, too.

    hell...for that matter...i don't even like the word!

    thanks for the suggestion tho, samantha. might help the younger ones until they can get what they really want.

    -michael
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  18. UsernameOptional added a post in a topic that "bulge"?   

    whew...okay ;)
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  19. UsernameOptional added a post in a topic that "bulge"?   

    hey jak, and welcome to tg guide

    "I just brought a packer from a dude ..."

    um...i certainly hope you don't LITERALLY mean that you bought a packy from some guy. a friend? an acquaintance? was it USED???

    if so, toss it and chalk it up to a lesson learned. if the guy claimed it was never used, can you trust him? can he prove it?

    best thing to do is buy your own packy - NEW. if ya can't afford a new one, make one, improvise, or wait. but don't use a used one.

    -michael
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  20. UsernameOptional added a post in a topic What binder   

    "Oh? Dangerous you say? I've been using aces binding since I was about twelve.... so i should be dead? Or in pain? Or something?"

    well, yer young yet and some things you may need to learn the hard way. i hope not tho.

    no one said you should be dead from using ace bandages. not sure it's been said anywhere in these forums that anyone's died from using them. what i said was, "they can be dangerous." that means there is the possibility that damage can occur.

    in fact, of all the methods for binding, ace bandages could possibly be the worst method, with duct tape applied to bare skin running a close second. but you don't have to take anyone's word here for it. perhaps you'll have top surgery before any problem arises.

    good luck
    -michael
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  21. UsernameOptional added a topic in Transgender News & Happenings   

    Adoption by Gays Threatened
    according to a USA TODAY article...
    "Steps to pass laws or secure November ballot initiatives are underway in at least 16 states, adoption, gay rights and conservative groups say. Some — such as Ohio, Georgia and Kentucky — approved constitutional amendments in 2004 banning gay marriage."

    other states where bills are being drafted or discussed: Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Indiana, Kansas, Michigan, Missouri, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Utah, Vermont, and West Virginia.

    click on the link below to see the whole article. while there, clik on "Vote: What do you think about gay adoption?"

    Gay Adoption

    tell everyone you know about this poll and have them vote too !

    -michael
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  22. UsernameOptional added a post in a topic How tall and what do you weight?   

    how, when and why did knowing a woman's weight or age become taboo??

    what's there to be embarrassed about? what's there to hide? we don't have a problem telling our age or weight.

    i've always wondered why a woman gets so insensed over something like that.

    just curious... please don't reach for the nearest object to fling at me - you'll break your monitor!!

    -CuriousMikey
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  23. UsernameOptional added a post in a topic What binder   

    heather -

    i personally do not know anyone who's suffered any damage from binding. there are a few guys here who know a friend or acquaintance who's sustained injury from binding.

    i do know that severe injury usually comes from things like duct tape or ace bandages.

    there have been guys bind using duct tape, applying the tape directly to the skin. if you are at all familiar with duct tape, you know that the adhesive side is quite strong. guys have had skin torn off removing the tape

    ace bandages will draw up...essentially, getting tighter as the day wears on. if too tight, the bandage can cut into the skin or even the flesh.

    some guys have sustained internal injuries from both tape and bandages. it has also been discovered that the constant binding can cause tissue to harden. 'grams or manual examination cannot tell the difference in the binder-hardened tissue and lumps. often, a biopsy must be performed to be sure what's there. binding too tight can cause inhibit proper breathing and can cause damage to the lungs.

    tho there are many good binders on the market, it is probably safe to assume that the longer a guy binds, even if safely, the process can eventually cause one problem or another.

    hope this helps
    -michael
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  24. UsernameOptional added a post in a topic can u make Breastforms   

    "How durable are they like that? I mean, if you were hugging or making out with someone, i would imagine it would be pretty embarrasing if one were to break and soak you and your date." -JamieTVgirl

    balloons can be pretty durable when underfilled. unless your goal is to look you were on LSD when you chose the breast size you desire, you won't be filling those ballons to capacity. i was pretty creative when it came to...um... "packing".. i never had a balloon break.

    it would probably boil down to preference... plastic bags like Annie suggested, or the balloons like michelle2 suggested, or a stocking with birdseed like Jo'C suggested. the better thing about the water filled bags or balloons is that they do take on a person's body heat ... this makes it feel more natural, almost to the point that you forget they are there. it would seem to me that birdseed would make a rather questionable noise tho, if engaged in "close contact."

    can't believe i got in the middle of this...

    -michael
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  25. UsernameOptional added a post in a topic What binder   

    ace bandages are designed to draw up over time. therefore, just normal activity and breathing will cause aces to tighten. they can cut into your skin, or as in the case of your friend, literally cause internal damage.

    tho duct tape doesn't stretch or tighten, if applied directly to the skin it can rip the skin off. if it doesn't rip it off right away, it can severly irritate the skin with each change, eventually leading to the removal of skin.

    if duct tape is used, it should only be used over a t-shirt or other undergarment, and should not be wrapped too tightly as it also could restrict adequate expansion of the chest for breathing. but personally, i wouldn't use duct tape whether over a shirt or not.

    another problem with "ungiving" binding techniques like duct tape, the continual compressing itself of the flesh can cause scarring. somehow, the compressed flesh can "harden" for lack of a better description. later, because of these scars, some have been known to have to have biopsies done of the hardened tissue because results of normal 'grams cannot determine if the scars are just scars, or suspicious lumps/growths.

    another suggestion for binding is the neoprene waist trimmers you see in magazines and in many sports departments of stores like wal-mart. unless you are pretty heavy up top, waist trimmers do a pretty good job - and their inexpensive. one downside is, now days most of them come with a velcro closure. a few years ago, there was no closure of anykind - it was sorta like a "tube top." ya just stepped into it and worked it up into position. it layed flat enough that a t-shirt (designed for outterwear) could be worn over it and it wasn't noticeable as long as the t-shirt wasn't so small that it hugged your body.

    -michael
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