you may have kim. i don't always venture into this area of the forums.
some of this stuff is getting so confusing...and since i don't keep up with all of it anyway...some things that are old news are new news to me. i went looking for this because it was on my local news within the last week.
old or new tho...sad that so much ignorance, fear, bigotry and intolerance drives those who run the country
first, the only way you'd lose a sock, or any prosthesis for that matter, is if you wear boxers or go commando. a lot of guys like boxers...the only reason i can think of is perhaps because maybe some consider briefs too reminicent of women's panties. however, briefs will usually keep anything you use in place depending on the size and style.
a sock, rolled back on itself into a ball serves the purpose quite well as long as the sock is not too bulky - it looks quite natural. only problem with a sock is that on occasion it will ride up if you wear both loose underwear and loose jeans.
if you buy a packy, it also can be worn comfortably and naturally looking if you wear briefs. if you choose jockey shorts, they need to be pretty snug. problem with that is, if jockeys are too snug they are not comfortable. i've found a no-fly brief called Life Briefs (it seems there are many more styles than what is shown online - wally world has a good selection). Life briefs are meant to be worn snug and have a "formed" pouch, and hold a packy quite well. if yer not generally out (especially to your parents) these are quite nice if your mum ever does your wash because most women don't realize they are men's underwear. you would need a harness for your packy if you wear boxers.
you can get a good packy for under 20 bucks at Mango. also at this same site, you can get a STP packy, tho they cost a bit more.
other links on packing:
Hudson's Guide - this site updated often
"Is it possible for a post-op to join the military? Assuming all documentation has been gender corrected. Or would they classify (rubber stamp) you as "gay" and thus reject you?" -ElenaHere
they don't have to reject a guy with the excuse that he is gay. they will reject him for being TS.
despite the fact that no branch of the U.S. military will allow transpeople to serve, if a guy is between the ages of 18 and 26, living as male and listed with social security as male , he MUST register for the draft. however, if he never goes into college, or applies for federal grants or loan assistance, or never applies for a federal job...it may never be discovered that he didn't register.
if a guy finds himself in a situation where he must prove whether he registered or not, or was exempt from doing so, he either must have been born before 12/31/1959 and indicate (on forms and applications that ask) that he was not required to register, or if born after that date, and had not registered before age 26, he will have to get a "status information" letter from selective services indicating why he wasn't required to register.
just FYI for those who don't know... the israeli army has FTMs on active duty. apparently...they don't have a problem with it.
"As a web developer believe me, IE has it's quirks, too. And it's a royal pain to debug the problems it causes." -Lisbeth
i'm not a web developer...but believe me... IE SUCKS!!!
netscape. firefox. only way to go. i only use IE when i absolutely HAVE to...and that's usually only when i have to go to the MS website for info (site won't load properly or there are things you can't get to if you're using anything but IE)... billy boy has people by the coconuts when it comes to his website.
thanks for your research and posting this information. i have emailed our friend to pass this along. i really hope this jay kaplan can help, 'cause the last i heard, our friend was actually told [by some entity], he's now basically considered a terrorist. that's some harsh schidt to be tellin' a person!!
"You never see articles on "girls will be boys"..." -Annie
most likely because girls are not taken seriously... no matter what the season, theme or situation. there's nothing to discuss...nothing interesting. they're just "being silly girls."
"...I'm from the UK so if I'm paying in US dollars do I have to use traveller's checks or can I just pay with ordinary ones?" -Heathcliff
maybe you could find out what the item will cost, including tax(es) (if applicable) and shipping fees. then check the currency caluculator (link submitted by Annie in the thread "Choice"). check with your bank about how to write the check (how much, what kind of check). then call underworks to verify that you will be sending the correct amount. surely between the bank and underworks, you should be able to make a purchase.
NOTE: i'm not sure underworks mans the phones during business hours. when i called, i got a recording asking that i leave info so they could call me back. i chose to email them instead. however, the owner of Hudson's FTM Guide indicates on his website that underworks is FTM-friendly, so there shouldn't be a problem in working with them
READERS: Evan_kun, a new member to tg guide had made a post here, just below heath's post. in trying to edit a reply to heath, i accidentally deleted evan's post -for some reason, the program was combining my separate replies to heath and evan. when it wouldn't allow me to edit, i went to delete my reply to start over and zapped evan's post instead.
the following is the reply i was trying to make to evan. his post was saying hello to everyone, and asking what he could do to remedy the slippage he encounters using ace bandages if he doesn't use a sports bra over the bandages. the bra keeps the bandages in place, but then the bra shows under clothing.
hey evan, and welcome to the forums here at tg guide.
considering you are small-chested, perhaps you could try something i used to do before i gained so much weight - wear two sports bras, but wear the top one BACKWARDS. yep, backwards. believe me, it works. it also helps if they are just a tad smaller than what you actually would need, if possible. example: if you would normally wear a 32B in a regular UFO holder, get a sports bra in a 32A. wear one the right way, wear the second one backwards.
i even wore [dark coloured] t-shirts using this method.
P.S. well, as you all can see...the program has once again COMBINED my SEPARATE replies to heath and evan. dunno what the problem is...but i'm not gonna try to delete my reply again for fear of deleting yet another member's post. grrrr...this is really pissin' me off!!! :angry:
"I was assuming that having a bank account, getting a loan and driving his car are things that are critical to him to be able to do right now, and I was providing solutions that may allow him to do those things even before he gets his name change issue resolved." -JenniferM
yes, they are critical. problem is, we have a transman who looks very much like a man (clean shaven or not), who must now present as male (clothing, mannerisms, etc) but has ID to the contrary. as things are, because of some intolerant, petty, bigotted judge who seems to be ABOVE the law, this guy could get ARRESTED if he even gets caught driving - all because he can't get and provide ID with information that does not conflict with reality.
sure, he could probably go and get a new ID with a picture of him as he appears now, but then...what would YOU, as a business person or officer of the law think or do if a man presented you with an ID that had a female name and female designation, but obviously looked male? in today's world, FIRST thing that will cross your mind is... what kinda fake ID is this?
he's been severely depressed because, legal fees his lawyer dumped on him have put him in debt and he is now unable to even go for top surgery as was his plan several months ago. basically, he is in worse shape physically and emotionally than he was before transitioning... ALL BECAUSE OF THIS JUDGE!
i am very glad to hear that he is going to contact the ACLU (thanks for the suggestion gecko)... if he had been in a decent frame of mind... he may have thought of this himself. he's trudged a VERY rough road (unnecessarily) for the better part of the year. if his lawyer had been ANY kinda lawyer...maybe she should have thought of this.
bottom line, there was no good reason - no good LEGAL reason to deny this man a name change according to michigan law.
since when can a judge go AGAINST the very law she is supposed to UPHOLD?
how can a judge get away with something like this and not be addressed for her BIGOTRY ON THE BENCH??
what kind of lawyer would stand idly by, steadily charging her client for every move she makes, and not REPORT the actions of this judge?
i can't repeat what i've said about the judge or the lawyer in this forum...believe me, it's not pretty.
this guy is an online friend, works hard for a living and DESERVES better than this. he only found this lawyer after the 10 previous lawyers he contacted would NOT work with him on legally changing his name. what's up with that??
to repeat annie's plea... if you can help - PLEASE DO!!
dunno if this has happened to any of the other moderators while culling out old threads....
often when selecting for bulk moderation, choose 'delete topics' then clik on "with selected ____" then window appears: "are you sure you wish to delete these topics?" clik OK... this error message comes up:
mySQL query error: DELETE FROM ibf_posts WHERE topic_id IN(1621,1552,1467,1387,1442,1372,1330,1325)
SQL error: Incorrect key file for table 'ibf_posts'; try to repair it
SQL error code:
Date: Saturday 02nd of September 2006 09:35:22 AM
i also get a message occasionally if i open a thread and delete it using the "moderator's options" ....
mySQL query error: DELETE FROM ibf_posts WHERE topic_id=1992
SQL error: Incorrect key file for table 'ibf_posts'; try to repair it
SQL error code:
Date: Saturday 02nd of September 2006 09:55:09 AM
the first day or two after the change over, i would get an error message that implied there wasn't enough memory or something. happened when i would clik on someone's username to get to their profile so i could pm or email them. but it hasn't happened since.
i notice since, however, that pages seem to load slower. but i guess that's a heck of a lot better than being without the forums all together
ks, i'm sorry you felt it necessary to name your S/O here on the forum especially in light of the fact that you are quite unhappy...perhaps even bitter. but i have to ask... based on what you've described in this and the thread you began on 27 june (Just Wondering), do you really think your S/O would have gotten involved in this discussion if what you state were exactly how things have happened?
some have questioned if you've interpreted your S/O's intentions and meanings incorrectly, if perhaps the hurt isn't clouding your view on all this. your anger is most apparent in all your posts, and your insults have surfaced even here. i can't help but wonder what more goes on off this forum. if your discussions with your S/O is fraught with such insults, and the inability to get past that which she has apologized for...how do you expect any communication with her to begin or improve?
you commend amanda on a wonderful relationship. it's my opinion that whenever your S/O came out to you, the news was not taken well. different people handle that in different ways. some will continue to try to commincate their feelings and get their partner to understand the world they live in. some will try for only a while then give up. some will clam up almost immediately at the first sign of intolerance. somewhere along the line you've displayed your inability to try to understand or support...that's why things are the way they are between you.
i don't mean to cause you more hurt, ks, but it just seems to me that while you demand that your S/O and everyone else understand how you feel, it doesn't appear that you even try to understand how she feels. we've expressed to you that we are well aware of how any form of TG affects those around us...but you've not responded to that. because of that, i can't help but think you've somehow come here to get someone to agree that what your S/O is doing (or how she feels) is wrong.
i'm sorry to say, you will not find that here. what you will find is empathy and support...if you'll just try to open up as much as your S/O did when she first found the courage to tell you of her true self. i know you indicated in another post that your S/O will not go to therapy. fine. you go. make the first step. if she sees you are trying to make a go of this, perhaps she will have a change of heart. i don't see this improving without the help of a professional - whether you go alone or together
thanks to chris42, lostinwonderland, and others in the past who've recommended underworks, i've finally purchased one - the double panel #997 as mentioned in dev's post. mine is XL and i'm pretty happy with it.
anyone who can use a medium binder, i would highly recommend you getting in touch with dev - i don't think you'll be displeased. max_the_T_guy has a binder also - but he doesn't say what brand or what "strength"...
"...when I am able to be me, it's usually afternoons or weekends..." -Dev
i know the feeling - that's the only time i can be myrealself, too... for now.
"i have also heard that the underworks don't fit was well on smaller chested guys because the sizes run large." -lostinwonderland
i've not heard this, so can offer no info as i'm not a real small guy. perhaps some others can let us know their experiences too.
according to the underworks' sizing, i should have purchased a large - i was at the highest end of large. i considered buying one each large and extra-large because the binders/vests/shirts can be returned. but i took a chance and went with XL - i'm glad i did.
underworks has a variety of compression shirts, so it could be a matter of finding a different style if a guy is small chested AND small framed. on average tho... seems model #997 is the popular shirt.
all i have to say is that was a sorry excuse for an interview. patrick fraser/howard finklestien should have done some homework on transsexuals before doing this piece. his ignorance and lack of concern for properly adressing a transwoman (or any transperson) is disgusting at best. his bigotry screamed loud and clear right past his B.S. journalism.
i believe because of the way in which this interview was conducted, the end results will end up exactly as i described earlier in this thread - the public will never remember the issue. thanks to fraser/finklestein, you can be sure of that.
"Does it matter that she isn't beautiful?" -Monique
it shouldn't...but we unfortunately live in a country where emphasis and priorty are placed on beauty. because of this, TG/TS women must work doubly hard at meeting these society-mandated standards in the looks department. no different than the saying that a minority must be twice as good as a non-minority to be considered half as good.
"There are lots of cisgendered who are a plastic surgeron (sic) nightmares too." -Monique
very true that there are cisgendered individuals who are addicted to plastic surgery, and those who are plastic surgery nitemares. but here's where i believe the difference is:
a cisgendered individual, especially a woman, is not normally critisized for having any type of plastic surgery done. women are bombarded with the "requirement" to always look good - look beautiful at all costs. many women do not fall into this black hole, but many do. there are reality shows - "oh i'm soooo ugly i can't function...make me pretty!!" sad thing is, many of those women are not all that bad looking. but the pressures of society convinces them so.
a cisgendered woman who seeks damages for surgeries that have gone wrong is, for the most part, looked upon with empathy and sympathy whether she got the surgery due to scars from an accident, or just plain vanity. if she's gone to the media with her plight, the media attacks the industry, and places no blame or disgrace on the woman. what do people remember about the woman? that she was horribly wronged.
on the other hand, a TG/TS woman who's plastic surgery has gone wrong or is to the extreme is looked upon as a freak, an abomination - she deserved what she got. that her surgeries went wrong take a back seat to the "fact" that, in the cisgendered world, "she" is a sick MAN. HE has a problem. suddenly, the viewing public only thinks about the MAN who THINKS he's a woman - the failed surgeries (and the issue in this case) are forgotten.
in the viewers' minds HE shouldn't be in the women's room. period. this woman has chosen to air her issue in a public setting, one that subjects us all to an unfavourable light if she presented as horribly as annie saw on previews. her issue will be all but forgotten, but the public will remember the "queer" - the type of person they don't want around their children or themselves.
i would think, simply by the phrases themselves that there is a difference.
women will sometimes have breast reduction if they are very large. sometimes due to health problems, like the weight causing back or shoulder pain; a doctor's concern that a woman may not heal in a timely manner after open-heart surgey; or some women feel more free to have breast reduction rather than suffer the discomfort of over-endowment nowadays.
in our world, most guys want "top surgery." to the best of my knowledge, this usually means having all excess tissue removed, not just reduced. some also call it chest reconstruction.
if you are FTM, maybe you could luck out and get your doc to "reduce" your chest down to almost nothing... especially if that's your choice - i've heard of no minimum when it comes to breast reduction, but that doesn't mean the medical world doesn't have some twisted notion about that, too. you could end up killing two birds with one stone - come out with an almost male chest, and have the procedure covered by insurance as a beneficial reduction...
perhaps someone here knows more about what doctors will or will not allow when it comes to reduction, or if it all boils down to finding the right doc and what the patient wants