Skip to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.
Transgender Message Forum @ TGGuide.com

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Finding Lisa

A blog by LovelyLisa in General

  • Entries

    57

  • Comments

    151

  • Views

    27,644

About this blog

MTF currently transitioning to living full-time. Started HRT on 4/18/2015.

Entries in this blog

Transition Update - Full-time date: 12/19/2016, Name Change, Disclosures

A lot has happened since I last posted. On Friday, I set my full-time date with HR ... 12/19/2016. No significance to the date. It's just a good time to ease into my new routine, because there will be a lot of down-time in the office.. I  have decided on my name, but will not disclose my new full name here until I am near my FT date. Lisa will (continue to) be my first name. I've had it for over 25 years and am used to it. - I met with my VP who was really shocked, but supportive. There will be

Transition Update (Posted on FB - 7/12/2016)

Talked to the HR Director at HQ today (finally) and disclosed that I plan to transition within 6 months. I had typed up a long letter to give to her or read (it was the easiest letter to write ...). But instead of reading it, I decided that she and I would benefit more from a two-way conversation. It went really well. It turned out that a close friend of hers and her family just went full-time (MTF), so she was really, really excited for me, which surprised me. LOL. Anyways, I wanted to feel her

Updates

Update - 12/6/2016 To say that a lot has happened since I last posted is an understatement. I will post more later. I am currently recovering from FFS surgery on Dec 2nd. I had a brow reduction & lift. Upper eyelid surgery, rhinoplasty, fat transfer to the cheeks. Chin reduction and shaping and tracheal shave. Tomorrow I have an appointment to hopefully take some of the stitches out and splint on my nose.. I have been off from work since Dec 1st and will be returning to work as Lisa on Dec 1

Coming out letter - first cut

I decided to start crafting a coming out letter. It has been a long time coming. I've read a lot about coming out to friends, family, children, coworkers, etc. Each is a unique audience. I wrote this first letter primarily to read to my pastor. If you could review and provide comments I would appreciate it. The one thing that I did not do in the letter, that so many other letters attempt to do is explain gender dysphoria or what transgender is or means. I consciously decided not to do that. Firs

Update - Hormones

I had a little bit of an odyssey this weekend filing my prescription. So even though I received the script on Wednesday, I was not able to fill it until today (wow). It's amazing, but it hardly cost me a thing. 2 months of Estradiol and 1 month of Spironolactone for $25 through Costco. So I took Estradiol for the first time today. Just a 1 MG pill, but felt a little different immediately after for about 15 to 20 mins. Not sure what that was about. I had an empty stomach. Also, the Dr. asked that

Very Emotional Time

I have been really feeling vulnerable and as a result emotional. I cried several times today. I've been having a two-fold problem in Facebook. One I have guys constantly wanting me to add them. And then guys messaging me for sex, sex cams, etc. It is ridiculous. Then I have had a few non-trans people make negative comments, either on Facebook or in person. I've been called a freak, man-in-a-dress, dude. It used to never bother me, but I think because I am close to transitioning, it is real

My Love, My Life

"My Love, My Life" were the words I had inscribed inside my wife's wedding band. I really meant it. She was and is everything to me. I love her so much. A few weeks ago, my wife told me she did not want to be with me anymore. She explained that she is not a lesbian. That she tried, but needs to be with a man and wants to start dating. I knew that she was struggling with my transition and our relationship. Many times in the past, she has said that if I transition, that she would not stay with me.

The Transition of Others

As the saying goes, "As one transitions, those around them transition as well." I am reminded of this fairly frequently, but more-so this week. My mom and sister have been struggling with my transition. My mother and sister still live in the Northwest Ohio area. I told them of my transition and being transgender at different times. I came out to my sister back in April 2014. I came out to my mom later that year. I have struggled with my gender identity my whole life. My mom was vaguely aware of

Keystone Conference 2016

It has been quite awhile since I have updated. A lot has happened over the last two months. Recently I attended the Keystone Conference in Harrisburg, VA which is less than a 2 hour drive for me. I only attended the conference Friday and Saturday, had a wonderful time, a bit tired but learned a lot. My primary reason for attending was to meet with several surgeons and get consultations for FFS. I also wanted to attend the sessions, meet others. Before I arrived to the conference, I did try to ge

Update - Therapy

I went to my therapist today. Scheduled an appointment for June 18th in five weeks. I told her how things were going and the progress that I've made. It was more of an update and encouragement. She did provide me a signed copy of a safety letter. I am going to scan it and make copies. One thing we talked about is my wife. Saturday night, she asked me what I was doing, that me transitioning was affecting her psychologically and that she was having difficulty focusing and burying herself in her vo

Funeral

These last few months, I've been in a rut. A real rut. And on occasion this rut is deep, dark and I've had claw myself out of it. Thankfully, I've had friends who have been pulling me out of it, checking on me even though I have not asked for help. Often there is a great deal of shame in admitting that I need help, pride that I  can conquer things on my own and also the feeling like I am troubling others with my problems. Though there are times where we all must walk alone with only the Lord Jes

Update - Anxiety

I haven't posted in a while. I don't know why exactly. I've been in a rut this summer. The intense anxiety that I experienced in April came back on Tuesday. I had it all day into Wednesday morning. Almost went to the ER. I cried all day long. I did get Xanax and Zoloft. It will take a couple of months to get my levels right, I'm sure. I feel better at the moment, but it comes and goes. I had problems on Thursday, Friday and today. I know what the reason is. Gender Dysphoria. I don't know exactly

New Year 2016

This week I had to work, but I was able to reflect a bit on what was a difficult last three years or so. It's seems as though just in the last three weeks as I have stabilized, I have been able to focus, be more task-oriented, yet be able to look forward, plan and conceptualize what my future might look like or what may be possible. It is always difficult to say what will happen. Yet I won't let that deter me from making sound plans for myself that are achievable. I have a few focus areas for ne

Update

I feel much better. It took me a couple of days to emerge from the mental crater left behind from my meltdown a week ago. Work and a business trip, took my mind off of things for a while. It was the perfect medicine for what ailed me which I knew would be the case. I had to buy sports bras because running has become painful. 2 for $20 from Costco. Breasts are a pain in the a$$, but I'll take them. Lol! I am almost a size B which is crazy. My left breast is growing faster than my right. I don't w

Update ...

Just an update I haven't been on here much. I have been really busy, active. Making steady progress. But I had something that happened to me last night which stopped me cold. I had a guy who I was friends with, who I have chatted with for months, just dump me and cut me out of his life. Being trans*, I have experienced a lot of this over many years. But recently, things had been going really well. So this blindsided me a bit. Anyways, I cried today. I will be okay. It will take some time to get

Transitioning ...

Life is full of surprises. I have always considered myself a fairly self aware person, but I've been surprising myself lately. About three months ago, I told my wife that I thought that I would need to transition. Well, about two weeks ago at my appointment with my therapist, I reminded her of something that I had said at my very first appointment back in November which was wanting to develop new ways to cope with being trans but not having to transition. I was in "crisis" mode at the time, n

Just upped my dosage.

My dosage of Estradiol has been increased. I am looking forward to the changes that come with that. So far I've noticed the following changes: - Overall, I am much more calm and patient. Though, because I haven't transitioned yet and feel kind of trapped I get impatient and angry. - I am much more focused. More than I have been my whole life! - Overall, I sleep much better at night. I can sleep 12, 13, 14 hours straight if I really need it. I was totally unable to do that before. Though, lately

Transition Update

My FFS surgery is scheduled for 12/2. My full-time date at work is 12/19. I am still part-time, but dress almost all of the time, except work. I have been on HRT for almost 17 months and filling in nicely. My name change order came through. I was going to change my license but have been sick the last few days. With work, I haven't gotten to it. But that is next as well as my SS Card. Then my passport. More disclosures. What I am finding is that everyone is accepting at first, but after the shock

Update - Bloodwork, Electrolysis

I had blood work done on Wednesday to make sure that my potassium levels were not too high on the Spiro. Those tests came out normal, which was good. I am hoping that means that I will get a prescription for Estrogen at my followup appt on May 13. I had a one hour electrolysis appointment on Thurs. It went really well. The electrologist flew and was able to clear a significant amount of hairs around my lips and chin. My blood pressure is normal, I still have bouts of anxiety so I need to s

Update

I've been doing better this last week, however had a pretty pivotal conversation with my wife. She hasn't wanted to talk about what I'm doing, doctor's appt, electrolysis, etc. But on Saturday night, she told me that she wanted to talk about it. So I told her what I was doing (even though I had told her what I was doing before) and she basically told me she felt like she was on a rollercoaster ride that she did not sign up for. That going on hormones and seeing me dressed were nails in the coffi

Great week...looking forward to the future.

I had a good week last week and this one is turning out to be just as good. First, I finally feel stabilized on my meds over a week ago. This past weekend I met up will a large group of ladies for a Christmas party at the Marriott. That was nice. I posted one of my pictures. My job is going well. I am feeling good and in good shape. Everything seems to be better. I am mentally strong again. I hope that all is well with everyone. Happy Holidays, --Lisa

Meltdown

I took some time off of work. It was wonderful. 11 days off. Spent a lot of time with my family and my children. So as with everything, it is just a fleeting moment, a "snapshot in time". I had to go back to work and my wife took the kids to her parents to FL to visit. Right off the bat, I MISS ALL OF THEM!! They left Sat morning, but I found myself in full meltdown mode on Sunday night. And I found myself seriously questioning transition. I cannot remember the last time I called "home" in tears

This week 2015-01-26

Week of 2015-01-26 So I thought I posted this, but did not. Don't know what happened. I did talk with my wife last week about having difficultly in not transitioning and being transgender and that I think that I need to transition. I told her that I talked to my therapist about and that she would recommend me, just based on the few sessions I had. She cried and reminded me that she wanted to be married to a man. I cried as well. She said that this would be so hard and how do you plan on doing

Update

Last weekend I visited my mom for four days in Ohio. I have been trying to visit her at least once a month or every other month since my father passed away. It had been over two months since my last visit, so it was somewhat overdue. During my last visit, I told her that I thought that I would need to transition. This last visit I told her that I am planning on taking hormones soon and hair removal. She was a little surprised, accepting but trying to understand why I was doing this. One of h

Account

Navigation

Search

Search

Configure browser push notifications
Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.