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General

Featured Entries

Transgender Bloggers Wanted: Share Your Journey

Create your own blog at TGGuide.com. It's FREE and you can start right now. Some people blog as a sort of journal to share our thoughts, feelings, experiences and insights. Others blog to express opinions on social and political issues. Others blog to share their knowledge and experience with others. Go ahead. Express yourself! Others may be grappling with issues you blog about and your words could provide useful insight or answers. Here are some blog topic ideas to get your creative juices f
  • Lori

Intangibles and the brain

Recently, in the past two weeks I have noticed my brain is working differently than in the past. I labeled this entry intangibles because as per the definition it is hard to touch on. It all began last week, there was something that felt different in my thoughts. Sometimes I was razor sharp with the task at hand but other times I was off in my own little world. The only thing that makes sense is that this is a cumulative effect of being o hormones. I am truly thinking more like a cisgender femal

Dr Leighton Seal - ChX GIC

I had a great day yesterday, I went to London (even the traffic was good!) to Charing Cross Gender Identity Clinic (ChX GIC) for an appointment with Dr Leighton Seal, he's their Endocrinologist. He really is one of the most helpful Doctors I've ever met, he seemed willing to arrange the best available treatments within medical guidlines, we talked about which oestrogen traetments were more efficient, epidermal patches or tablets, I was on patches due to previous liver concerns, which are now all

HRT - follow-up

I went to see an endocrinologist on Friday after work.  A somewhat long journey out to Queens, but worth the trip. After seeing 2 different assistants (one who was getting some additional background information, the other did some basic checking - blood pressure, heart rate, etc.), I finally saw the doctor. I hadn't fully decided on whether or not I was going to pursue HRT when I went to see him, I wanted to see how I reacted to having an actual doctor give me information, as opposed to just doi

Unprepared but all is fine

I had nothing on my agenda today so off to the mall to browse around. After entering the mall through Macy's my phone rings, look down and it's my son. So I answer the phone and he says "happy father's day". We chat, here ask how things are going in Oregon (he is in California). I did the usual, everything is fine then tell him about my transition. My expected response did not come which would be something like "why" but instead he asked questions which I answered and he seems fine with what I a

The Ardennes

Hi, In an earlier entry I said that I was going to let you know how I got on in the Ardennes (southern Belgium and northern Luembourg), well we travelled in our Land Rover Freelander towing our caravan, started out at 02:00 Saturday morning, and got to Dover a little earlier than expected, P & O Ferries obligingly offered us an earlier sailing, which we accepted gratefully, we had bought club class lounge seats, the lounge was nearly empty, so we tried to sleep (not very successfully). Anywa

Road trip

My daugher is going to move from the Philadelphia Pennsylvania  to Portland Oregon (20 minutes from my place) this coming Spring. I told her it would not be cost efficient to have her car taken on a train and a bad idea to sell it as the car is fairly new. In my late thirties I made the trip in four days across country (three times in three years in my forties) but thirty years later will more likely than not need one or two more days. So in total I am going to take two weeks off from work for t

Becoming Us - Have You Seen It?

BECOMING US (ABC Family) STORY LINE (From IMDB) In this unscripted drama, a teenager named Ben learns to live with his dad becoming a woman. The series will follow Ben, his family and his friends as they support one another through this unexpected journey and navigate their new world with Charlie now living as Carly. I'd like to know if anyone who has lived something of this experience has seen Becoming Us? I just want to know if this is like reality, or some fabricated show that spreads untrue

HRT

Happy Friday everyone! Later this afternoon I have my appointment with an endocrinologist to discuss HRT.  It's very much a preliminary discussion, I just want to hear from a doctor what's involved (hopefully it won't be much different than what I've discovered through my own research and reading people's entries here, but hearing it from a doctor makes it more "real").  I was originally scheduled for tomorrow morning but they called yesterday to see if I could come in today instead, which is gr

Plausable Passibility

I really never expected this. When I first started out in this journey I told myself that I didn't care what I looked like in the end. I didn't care if people always saw me as a man who wants to be a woman. At least I would be honest. At least I was being me. I could finally let go of the pain of lying and projecting myself as male that I held onto for so long like some kind of comfort blanket... made of rabid raccoons - That kept me safe... in an emotionally scarring sort of way. "I keep tellin

Feminine Movement

Today I was thinking about the real life experience (12 months test) that a person is required by the WPATH guidelines and how I seemingly did extremely well over 12+ months and believe this is partly from having studying female mannerisms, realizing  from many observations how female and male anatomies are different yet with the right preparation from watching cisgender females a cisgender male can compensate for what surgery can't give you which is the natural movements of a cisgender female a

Just upped my dosage.

My dosage of Estradiol has been increased. I am looking forward to the changes that come with that. So far I've noticed the following changes: - Overall, I am much more calm and patient. Though, because I haven't transitioned yet and feel kind of trapped I get impatient and angry. - I am much more focused. More than I have been my whole life! - Overall, I sleep much better at night. I can sleep 12, 13, 14 hours straight if I really need it. I was totally unable to do that before. Though, lately

Lesbians Getting "Real" - Together . . .

The other article on Lesbian Connection that hit me between the eyes was about relationships.   ""Where are all the 'real' women?"  "I just want someone to be honest and authentic!"  "No one I meet knows how to listen and go deep!"" "We offer dating and relationship classes for women, and it's amazing how often we hear this kind of thing from the Lesbians we work with.  We have some good news, and some bad news.  First - what you find out there is pretty much always a reflection of what you're b

Breathing Optional

So, first off I want to apologize for my last blog post, I apparently was having a bad day/night and needed to vent. I do want to thank everyone for their words of encouragement and assure you that I am less RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWRRRRRR today and more ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz JUST BECAUSE IM THAT BIPOLAR. Yup, that is my life.   SO, on another note, it IS Wednesday, and as some of you may know, it is my YOUTUBE POST day. So I have posted my weekly youtube post, and here

I have totally forgotten...

I was watching a television show called "American Odyssey" where men in the show (in North Africa) are walking around in robes. I stopped and thought, wow, I have completely forgotten what it's like to have male parts swaying around between my legs and it has been just over four months since those parts went away. Now I can't fathom this at all, what was it like, nope, no memories. I think part of it was that after 2013 I was tucked 98 percent of the time as I could not bear to things moving aro

Update

It has been about a month on hormones, all-in-all things have been going well, better. The meds have had a calming and emotionally stabilizing affect on me. However, self-doubts have crept in. It was particularly difficult this past weekend. Where I feel like I am throwing my life away, self-loathing, suicidal thoughts. And I have to keep reminding myself that there is a reason why I am where I am. Things don't happen for an accident. I've been diagnosed with gender dysphoria and have been deali

WE ALL HAVE TO, DON'T WE???

Generally Speaking   No matter if you CIS, Trans, Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Queer.  All of us went through the phase of exploration.  Be it to discover your gender or sexuality or which careers we wanted to follow, because you don't look, behave or think like everyone else you talk to.  Sometimes, not even your parents have an answer for you, make that most of the times.  And when you finally got an answer from somewhere, it takes us all different timeframes to accept or initiate the change we so desire

Honey I'm numb

Have I ever said I'm one of the numbskulls that don't understand flirting when it's directed at me...  WELL I AM THE WORST KIND IN HISTORY.   Let me start by saying this wasn't my intentions.  Okay, I thing I had a massive undertone of want you.  But I ever said it directly or even partially or remotely in person...  Am I even remotely upset that he found out. Not in the least' so wanted im to be single and focussed on me, oh well NOT YET.   I am kinda disappointed in the fact that I didn't hide

Costumes and reality

Good morning everyone, On Friday I mentioned that I had a goal over the weekend to go out "presenting as a woman" (as opposed to just appearing far more feminine than I used to).  I wasn't 100% certain what that meant when I said it, but on Sunday I did follow through.  I was fortunate that the drag queen who I always go see on Tuesday was doing a special Sunday Brunch show at noon, so I used that as my location.   Much of what I did was pretty typical for what I do already.  I wore my gray "Blo

Trigger Warning: Everything

Sometimes I cant help but wonder if its really just the bipolar that puts me down. That beats me down, puts me in the dirt, and keeps my face in the sludge while laughing in my face. Ever time I seem to be doing fine…every time things are looking up, something always grabs me by the throat and shoves me back down. Puts me in my place. Regardless of how far I’ve come, regardless of how many people I help, and regardless of how well I can front a smile---its breaking me down just to get up in the

Experienced it today (mild adult content)

So I finally had intercourse today which upfront I told the man I was not interested in dating or a relationship as he is into me but he needed to know I am not letting this going any farther and he is fine being friends and having this time together today. I was very happy in regards to me able to accommodate him as he was larger than average so that means for those reading this that the larger dilator does allow for larger size penises. He did everything right to arouse me, took his time and I

Trans March Portland Oregon

I am not the type to attend a trans parade at all but felt the need to see what is was all about.  Well for a while there it seemed like we would not make it as my friend's husband got intoxicated and did some really stupid stuff to his wife and young daughter, When I got to her place her daughter clung onto me for safety and the husband immediately settled down to some extent as even though he is much bigger than me he knows what I am capable of. I could write an entire entry of this but declin

Chat with mom

My mother called last night to chat about photographs I had sent her of me (which I mentioned in a recent entry). She first asked who had done the packaging. I told her UPS and was hoping that all had arrived intact. She says, it took my bother a long time to open the package as it was packaged very well. She then studied the three framed pictures and came back with “you are right, I would not had recognized you” and that if you were to walk up to me and said nothing I would not recognize you.

Weekend goals...

Happy Friday ladies and gentlemen and all points between and around! Well this was quite the week.  I knew that changing to my female name at work would be "big," but I didn't fully anticipate the anxiety, exhilaration, excitement, fear (and several other emotional states that I may never have experienced before) that would come with it.  It really was a very unusual week as people started referring to me as Christie, and using female pronouns.  The word spread faster than was planned (thanks to

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