Nicely said, Elsa. Sometimes breaking free of our gender assigned at birth is like achieving escape velocity. 

“Ground Control to Major Tom

Commencing countdown, engines on”

Dear Elsa and Christy,

Really resonated with your stories as I had to struggle loving being a masculine woman (mid-butch Lesbian).

Your friend,

Monica

Congrats Elsa

This is usually the point of must return, or well you end up in the oblivion that you and none of us could exist, just be a mere spec in the world that needs to be lived.

Once you've got control of the psyche that wants to claim control and drag you down into that dark abis where not even light sheds any clear path to a return.  Now keep growing the light, as the confidence in who you are will grow.

Hugs

Michele

Hiya Ladies. Long before I started on My MtoF Transition journey, I had shaken hand's with " The Black Dog " !! I made 3 Serious Suicide Attempt's, namely Tuesday, 16th. August, 1988; Early November, 1992; and Early February, 1996; and I Really AM Very Lucky, to still be alive !! The Decision to Actually start Transitioning, for Me Personally, was Definitely the Correct one. I Am just over 3 Year's into My Transition, and about 6 1/2 Month's on Hormones. I Am a lot Happier, and a lot Calmer. My Emotion's have changed Massively, and the Hormones are Definitely having a major effect Physically as well !! I could Never, Ever, De--Transition, and why would I want to ? I Am under the Gender Identity Clinic in London, which is Known as the Charing Cross Gender Identity Clinic, or CHX--GIC, as it gets shortened to ! I hope to have My Gender Reassignment Surgery, carried out in Summer/Autumn, 2019. If any of You would like to talk with Me, then Please feel free to do so, but, I will only give details or advice, based on My Own Personal Experiences. As I said to Michele earlier on, I Officially; Legally; changed My Name, by U.K. Deed Poll, in a One--Hour; Express--Service; on My 55th. Birthday, which was My Birthday Present to Myself. I hope that this insight, might be of help to some of You. Take Care Ladies, And My Very Best Wishes to You All, Stephanie. ( Steph53. ).