Constitutional Crisis

According to a Harvard law professor a constitutional crisis exists when:

1. The Constitution does not provide a clear, definitive answer to a problem;

2. The actors in the conflict appear ready to press their competing courses of action to the limit.

Reading this in the NYT this morning brought forth a realization of how my ex-wife often managed her part in our marriage, which brought to mind "Marriage by Crisis."

As she did from the first time I told her that I occasionally crossdressed she gave me a take it or leave it. There was no middle ground. I consistently backed down, out of fear of losing her love and to restore the peace that we both enjoyed. In peace we were both so happy with each other and our life together. 

She was the one who called for divorce as I discovered and embraced my authenticity, often saying through tears how I had betrayed her. It's been now 2 1/2 years since our divorce and I feel that she betrayed me: I was okay only if I fit into the mold she insisted upon.

None of us can predict the future. It seems to me that a fundamental part of marriage is to support each other's growth. Yes, this can lead to conflict, but overall, growth trumps much. 

Keep growing.