So I have just finished my gender counselling and am in between appointments, so I will need to go and change and wipe any signs of DeeDee away for the day.

The psychologist loved my list, she said it effectively sums up my life and ties in my emotions and struggles with gender roles and identities, but she also said while she felt bad she wanted me to cut the list down. She said she looks at it from a psychological perspective and found that even she as getting distracted from the gender aspects, whereas the people that this will go to will only really be interested in medical terms about the tick boxes of longevity and frequency. She said she will never tell someone that their story is not important, nor will she tell them what to write, but although she has learned a lot about me as a person it could muddy the waters and mean that I end up with more referrals before getting greenlighted to HRT.

As we are able to where we are, she has also asked if we can meet face to face, and so I said yes, so in two weeks time I will pack my son off to school drive down for my appointment and she will meet DeeDee in person, and then I will drive back home in time to get his dinner sorted after school. I am actually more excited than scared about having an in person meeting but the pressure isn't about who may or may not see me as DeeDee although that is still a worry, it is how bestto do that practically - at the moment I am verging towards doing what I did the first time I left the house and simply adding my wig and shoes once I am in the car and out of my area, then every interaction for the day will be as DeeDee.

I am quite excited.