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Is this wrong of me?


Blackangel

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I’m laying here in bed with Adrianne. We were talking, and I asked her what I’m going to ask here.

Is it wrong of me to wish I had never come out, and just continued to live as a man? It would be so incredibly much easier, but a lot more miserable too.

I just don’t know what to think. So is it wrong of me to wish I had kept it to myself. That would be easier…… right?

I guess I’m just scared to death about all the 🤬 that is happening against us. I fear for our lives just checking the mail. We have a court date this week, and I’m scared they’re going to rule against us simply because I’m trans.

I just don’t know what to do anymore. I can be who I really am, or pretend to be someone I’m not.

 

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No. there is nothing wrong with you.  It's been a pretty tough year not only for trans people, but also for all human rights in general, as I see it.  Religion has become a powerful political force in forcing their own dogma upon the populace and is furthering to entrench their exclusionary views of right and wrong, normal and abnormal, morality and immorality.  I feel like we are being forced back to a time around the civil war era and everyone should be concerned, women, children, any marginalized groups, Blacks, Asians; you can go on and on.  I AM DEEPLY SADDENED THAT AFTER MY 68 YEARS ON EARTH, SO MANY LAWS ARE SUCCESSFULLY BEING PASSED THAT ARE ATTEMPTING TO WIPE OUT THE ABILILITY OF SO MANY PEOPLE TO SURVIVE, MUCH LESS SURVIVE WITH DIGNITY.  

Would I ever de-transition, though?  Never.  At this point in life, I have never been more happy, comfortable and confident in being who I genuinely am. And I have no doubt that society is far better served by my being out, too!  Whether they like it or not.  

I believe this will pass someday.  Trans has been a part of society throughout the ages and will always be. 

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Like most everyone here, I didn’t “become” a woman. I just quit pretending to be a man. Mike didn’t “become” a man. He quit pretending to be a woman. I’m just scared that some of the things that are happening to us are on my head simply because I’m a transgender woman. I feel like those things are ruining Adrianne’s life because she’s with me. While I have to carry a diamond shield and armor, she doesn’t have any reason to need the same. If she was with a real man, her life would be immensely better. At least that’s what I think. She tells me I’m crazy when I say that, but the majority of the time, I think she’s just telling me what she thinks I want to hear.

 

Depression is a major bitch. I’m manic as hell, a lot more these days. My medication doesn’t seem to be working like it used to.

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