Changing priorities
Entry posted by CarolineTyler
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What do you consider important in your life. To me it used to be to "fit in", to be "normal", to get married, have children, support and nurture them and along the way hopefully to find happiness.
Only I wasn't "normal", I didn't "fit in", I used to wake up in the mornings, stare at a face I hated and try to convince myself that one day it will be fine if I could just carry on doing.....this.....this stuff to distract myself from the inner turmoil.
Some two and a half years after making a big change in my life, leaving my family and over two years of real life experience things have changed a lot. No longer do I see the rest of my life stretching ahead of me in mental pain, I made that change and love it. I still look in the mirror each morning and despite the wonderful effects of hormones see the same face looking back at me. Lack of money means I have not yet completed electrolysis, so a close shave each morning tears at my skin to create a brief smoothness, by 6pm I know the hairs will be showing to anyone who looks close up (depressing).
Most importantly I have the future that I want, that I need, within my grasp. Next month I hope to get the go-ahead for surgery from the doctors at the Charing Cross clinic, my divorce is proceeding and most amazingly I have another special person to care about, who has only ever known me, Caroline, who loves me, who sees me as female already and who wants to share the rest of their life with me.
We are an unconventional couple its true, but it works and we are happy through and through.
My priorities are now my life, the love of my partner in life, my children and that's it really. So have my priorities really changed that much? No, but with my personal changes they feel exciting again.
Hugs
Caroline
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