General Transgender Discussion

I been thinkin about this for a long time. Whether I should put it up there and get advice or not. Being that i'm not very trusting to really open up to people, I had to think hard. I decided to give it a try. You see. okay, lets start of with how much I do love my parents, grandparents, and so on. Anyway, I found out at an early age that they're not too good with change. Then when I realized I was transgendered, I debaited on telling anyone of them. Later I casually went to my mom and told her that I needed to see a therapist. When she asked why, I told her because I have issues I nee to sort out and deal with. She said you tryin to tell me you like women? I said …

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I couldn't help myself with the title! So, I found a counsellor/therapist I think I'm going to start seeing! :)

well, this may be an interesting holiday weekend, I have decided it is time to tell mom about me. tgirl Bobbie Jo

How often do you replay these comments in your head? "Don't do this you are bringing shame onto this family" "Don't you care about your wife and children?" "It says right here in the bible, you are an abomination to God" "Take up your cross, suffering is a part of life" "You are bringing so much hurt to your family and friends why are you doing this? "Why don't you just let that part of yourself die so that we can get on with life" "We like you as you are, you will be causing so much trouble for us" "How can you do this to us?" "You are so selfish" "Your self-centeredness is going to destroy your life" "You are killing your career" "Why can't you shake this …

how do you know you are trans? is it like... something you knew since you were five? or did it - smack - just hit you one day? or more like a slow realization?

We have many teddy bears and other stuffed animals. Until the last couple years, they usually stayed in the same places and I only occasionally picked any of them up. As my transsexual awareness and desires have intensified in the last couple years, I have become increasingly attached to my teddy bears and other stuffed animals. Maybe this is related to latent maternal instincts and needs or perhaps I am going through another childhood, anyway, I am quite attached to my teddy bears and other stuffed animals. I enjoy, as I never did before, holding and cuddling them. I also like having one of our stuffied animals often sleeping in bed with my wife and I.

I have this complex about my height. Only because my parents see it as a way to discourage me from being the male I am inside. Everytime I talk to my mother, she comes up with you're too short to be a male, or what girl is gonna want a short guy like you. I find it rude and embarrassing. Anyone else have this problem? How do you deal with it?

People have always questioned my sexuality, but I thought they were crazy because I have always been attracted to females. I am now coming to the conclusion that inside I feel like a woman inside. However, is it normal to feel like a woman and still be attracted to women? If so does that make me a lesbian? I think that it is odd but it all makes sense at the same time. I have always enjoyed lesbian love stories and had felt very connected to the characters. Is it even possible to be and transgendered female and have a lesbian relationship? I hope this isn't a stupid topic. :blink:

I thought it might be nice to share some TG childhood memories. When I was little, like about 6, I remember going to a wishing fountain well... thing, and wishing to be a girl. I also remember my cousin telling me a liked barbie dolls more than her, which was probably true, as whenever I went over to her house I wanted to play barbie... Does anyone else have anything to share?

Would like to hear the latest advise and results on the use of herbal supplements to develop female secondary traits, such as breast development. I have just started a couple of products and will be recording my results. I would like to hear from anyone who has already tried herbs and what were their findings. Dawn

I'm making this topic again -- I had it a few months ago, so I'm posting an update. Basically, I was asking about how long it should take to pass as I'd been on hormones for a year and I was still getting sir'd. My situation has not changed. I know I need FFS and whatnot, but since that's temporarily out of reach I'm asking for general advice on my every-day appearance. Here're some fairly recent pics: Yay for Halloween!! So, yeah... Any advice is appreciated, but if all you're gonna say is that my hair needs to grow, please come up with something else. Everyone tells me that but my hair grows really slowly... I can't help that. Iunno. …

I know I find the term Genital Reconstuction Surgery the best one, because to me it is the most accurate. That's what the operation does, it reconstructs your genitals. I don't like the term "sex change operation" because I feel it's almost the transphobic title that it's been given and we're not changing our sex, we have always been girls, now we're just matching our body to our mind. Sex reassignment surgery I don't really have a problem with.

I'm 20, and for those of us who are transitioning early we know that we most likely won't ever have biological children. That's the only thing that bothers me, and yet I can't live the way I am, not without a lot of pain and a lot of suffering. And I'm betting that it's like this for most of us who transition before having kids. I've never had a problem with adopting kids, I've thought a lot about it but it's really not the same to adopt. But having biological children is very important to me, and it's so hard to let it go. But as you can understand, adopting isn't the issue at hand here. Luckily for me I'm a very positive person. I don't have to question my transsexua…

I don't want this to be a downer topic, but honestly, how likely is it a MtF will find a good man or woman after transitioning? I haven't a clue so am wondering what other's observations on this subject might indicate. From my own personal experience, within the gay community it is very hard to find a good, faithful, stable, employed, sane, loveable guy. Since the trans community is smaller I am guessing the odds are slimmer? MIWBJ

Happy Halloween and Samhain! We pretty much sat at home and handed out candy and watched Survivor.. I know, boo. I realized though that I can't do "en femme" for Halloween. It's sort of self-insulting and sending the wrong message to myself. If anything I've had my costume today by not doing anything special. I felt kinda cruddy about it as the day went on though, seeing a bunch of people dressed up as various things today, because now I wished I'd taken the opportunity to do some sort of female Halloween costume. Oh well, maybe next year. My wife wanted to be Eowyn, so maybe we'll get swords, armor, and Nordic dresses, and do dual Eowyns Anyone actually do anythin…

I've been wondering lately if -- in a large collective sense -- there are noticeable differences between those who say they are women vs those who want to be. I don't want to start any conflaguration here, just to see if any one else has noticed any collective differences between the two different self perceptions. As an example, might "those who want to be" tend towards crossdressing, while "those who are" might tend towards transitioning? Oh, and when I say "those who are" and "those who want to be", I am referring to how they think of themselves, not their physical bodies. As for my opinion on this, cannot say I have enough exposure or contact with others to get a …

I didnt want to sideswipe JessicaSideways topic so I started this one on the subject of 'admirers'. From being here a while i know that admirers seem to be frowned upon. And I am wondering if there is something that is inherent in an 'admirer' aside from the fact that they would prefer to be with a transgendered person. In a perfect world a straight biological man would prefer to be with a female, and that female could be cisgendered, or transgendered. But i don't think that is actually how the majority of men think, at least not yet. An admirer is someone who is attracted to transgendered people, and why is that objectionable. I have a cousin, she is not transgender…

What level of stealth do you prefer? Do you wish that everyone thinks you were born as GG (for M2Fs)? Or do you not mind if your close friends know? Or maybe you like to broadcast to the world that you are TG? For me, my close friends started out thinking I was a normal male except for being an online crossdresser, so they already know, and the fact that they know doesn't bother me since they are very supportive. Many people aren't that open-minded, though. Many of them can be made open-minded by talking to them, although if they just think I'm GG and don't know any better, that's easier.

I'm sure that many mtfs here can get quite jealous seeing other girls just so happy and carefree with their bodies. I definately do, and it can get so bad that I have to turn away. However even worse is watching a girl on a date, or pdaing with her boyfriend in public. The pangs of jealousy I get are akin to rage. It's like the frustration of knowing that I've never been in her position, and probably will not for years builds up, and then rubbed in my face. It's horrible. It used to simply create misogynist feelings in myself, but now it's gotta be just crazy jealousy. Sounds silly, I know, but does anyone else have similar feelings?

If you had been born into a society where gender roles are completely reversed from yours, like in that episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, would you still be TG, or would you have fit right in from the beginning? If you're MTF, for example, would you be like the women of that society (i.e. like men in your culture) or like the women of our society?

back in the *70s i saw a movie about a boy who's mother had raised him as a girl - A Reflection of Fear. the "girl" started killing people in the night, and used a broomstick on her female victims - don't think i need to go into any graphic detail there. when i think about this movie now...it seems to reinforce that man just cannot change or undo some things that nature has done - of course we know (or believe) that gender is one of those things. the mother in this movie put her child in girl's clothing, treated the child like a girl, raised the child as if a girl, but in the end, the child went on a [sexually frustrated?] rampage partly because in reality the child …

Ok I have been reading a lot around here for days. I would like some insight on this matter. My drivers license has a place for indicating SEX which will be M OR F. It does not indicate gender identity or sexual orientation. To me it would seem that there are many reasons why your drivers license should accurately indicate your biological sex. It may be embarassing at times but what about some good reasons for accuracy here. I am not absolutely sure about this but I think there could be emergency circumstances where a particular procedure or medication would be different for a male or female. If an officer calls in a victim who is barely alive needing assistance …

This is partially a question for GirlInside because I imagine this is all made much harder by an active decision not to transition. I'd be interested to hear what anyone has to say though. Ok, so you've told your friends and people close to you that you're trans. No one's blown up at you, everyone's been very supportive, given you the pat on the back for your self-discovery and being courageous enough to talk about it. (Well, that's been my experience so far.. haven't hit my family yet ) Now what? Here's what the effect has been on my relationships with everyone: people are a little weird talking about some topics now because they're afraid they'll offend me. …

Have any of you ever have any doubt or question being transgender and if so what made you come to terms with the fact that you are trans? Sorry if this is a dumb topic. :unsure: