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I thought, because I dressed like a woman every day that ment I was becoming a woman.I was wrong. I will never be a real woman, and I know that now; yep thats right I'm a transwoman, and I proud to be one of the many! Never again will hide myself, because I'm embarrassed of myself, and the way I look. This took a lot time to come this realization, and I sure there is more to come. However this is a big step for me and my path toward to transwoman hood. I never want to fool anybody ever again like I did for many years while I hid my gender identity disorder; I did this out of ingorance. I know this was wrong for I hurt people I love, and care about, and this is a hard pill to swallow! But I will get it down. I'm tired of look down when people walk by me; I have to get over this fear if I want to progress, I know this. I wish I had a answer for some of thing I'm going through,but I don't; I guess I'll figure it out the best I can along the way.There are many things that go through my mind during the day; some good some not so good. At least I stopped wanting to die, and my thinking is more focused on being kind to others; even if they are not toward me. I know that my heart condition means more then looks do, and this is another important step to becoming a transwoman. Looks will fade with time, but a good heart will never fade away! Most people are actrated to a positive person than negative one. I just wish I looked less like a guy in a wig; I hate mirrors for the reflection in it shocks me. As long as I don't look in one I know I'm a translady I feel like one too, but when I do... well you get the picture. I hate to shave nothing makes me feel more like a trangirl.<sarcasm> This is the not so good part of my thinking; O, how could I forget my hair...ba!!! What a cry baby I am ....No it just tells me I have a lot of work to do; I'm not going to stop for when I do stop I'll be dead!! I'm not ready for that yet; even if some wish it...you who wish this..too bad for you. I can just feel it things are going to turn around; I've already seen a few thing doing this. Every day in every way things are getting better, and better! If you could see my eyes you know how I feel; for the eyes are the gate way to a persons soul. My eyes show that I'm the happiest I ever been now!! I never want to go back to my old way; I will not alow this to happen. I like to share this quote, it's from M. Scott Peck 1936-2005 " Share our similarities celebrate our differences." I think that applies now for I well know I'm not alone in my thinking, as well as my journey. You know Jesus Christ said something about a journey it's found in the bible at Matthew 7:13-14. Quote: "Go in through the narrow gate;because broad and spacious is the road leading off into destruction,and many are the ones going in through it; whereas narrow is the gate and cramped the road leading off into life, and few are the ones finding it." Well I believe I found that gate, and road now and I've never felt more alive, and in control of my life. Peace Out.....=^.^= Don't you all be judge'n me!! ...LOL < joke sillies> ;)