Leaderboard

Did you know that the MTF to FTM percentage is 2.5 versus one? In the 1990s-2002, the estimated count for transgendered MTF was 14,000-20,000, versus the 1,000-8,000 FTM. Of course the numbers HAVE changed since that time, but the ratios stayed about the same. MTF transgenders greatly outnumber the amount of FTM individuals. I'm not sure why, and I'm not sure if we'll ever really know. But the point is, finding any form of anything for a transgender is usually limited down to MTF. I've done some research in attempts to figure out estimates on surgery costs, and sadly I keep hitting dead ends at times, being told they "only treat Male to Female cases" and that they dont know much about "female to male cases". I find that rather frustrating. Why are there so few resources for Transguys? All the medical clinics in my local area within driving reasons only offer surgical advice or support to Male to female. Not that I dont support the MTF, because I totally do! You gals need just as much help as us guys, and I'm totally cool with that. But I hate being so limited. It doesnt seem very fair :/ In the journey to even finding a therapist to chat with about being transgendered, I'd had to tell them that I'm "FTM" because theyve tried to put me with a MTF-only help aid. Though I'm sure that the therapy and whatnot is basically the same, it seems that the percentage of people who help in those sorts of things are generally MTF-only rated. Theres not many who specify on BOTH genders and not just transchicks. Any of you guys out there who are like me and find yourself constantly being turned away because you're a transguy not a transgirl or simply crossdressing, or being assumed you're simply Lesbian for the way you dress or act (which is totally stupid btw), you'll know what I mean when I say "WHAT THE F---!?" Someone once told me (not sure how true it is) that there are more MTF because of a genetic percentage while in the womb. That biological-male children can/do recieve high loads of female hormone from the mother/host, and that plays a large part of the whole transgender process. But biological-female children can only get testosterone/male-hormone from some other source, which makes it more rare to occur. Which makes sense, when you think about it. When a woman has a child, sometimes the hormones from the previous birth or sibling can stay in the womb or whatnot, and linger for the next child. That's why a lot of siblings have very simular features sometimes. It's not just the same mother, its some of the same hormones. I have an older sister ahead of me, but my mom was also very prone to miscarriages. Between me and every one of my four siblings, there were at least two to three miscarriages. Between me and my older sister, there were three. One female, and two male. Maybe I got high levels of extra hormone from the two male children that were never born? I'm not sure how true this whole theory is. Some medical student told me about it, and it seemed to make sense to me at the time. POINT IS: As discouraging as it is to be part of a failing percentage of transgendered, the world hasnt ended. Yes, most of the transgender help that you seek out will be generally populated towards the Transwomen, but it doesnt mean that there are none at all. Though I'm having difficulty finding someone to chill out with who's a transguy, and to get some advice from, it doesnt mean I'll never find it. (I've called several transgender communities in my area/state, and have been told that they normally have only transwomen there or that their medical resources are mainly targeted for the transwomen and they dont have a doctor to help out the transmen. Grr.) Perhaps my therapist that I get to meet finally will be able to help me out. I know they're sending me there not only for the transgender help, but also for my anxiety and depression issues. But hopefully they also took the transgender part of it into account too and didnt shove me with a doctor who knows nothing about us. That would certainly be frustrating, since a lot of my anxiety and depression centers around my gender identity! Hang in there guys, there's always something! "There's always something" Violet from Lemony Snickets Series of Unfortunate Events Warren

After several days of torment, several attempts not to harm myself, and several agonizing hours of enduring the silent remarks of those around me.....I finally had a tollerable night. Nothing too chaotic happened, really. My binders actually behaved today. I got up on time, did my exercise, and got to work on time. One of my co-workers actually has caught herself and is trying hard to make it a habit not to call me by any nickname feminine. She's really trying, though she messes up now and then, I forgive her. I just have to be patient with her, I know its not easy for her to cap that habit. Though I broke my new ipod yesterday, I thankfully still had my hands on my old ipod. Though the screen is cracked and its not in the best of shape, it still works, and I were still able to have my music and such with me all day. I took my meds on time, which is a rare triumph for me. I'm not on any form of medication for my transition, yet. But if/when I start them, I would like to have my other medications under control, so I NEED to get into the habit of doing things ON TIME. It's taking some time to actually get in the habit of it. I expressed to one of my online/texting friends (who is an MTF) that my shoulders/back were sooooooo sore from working out and lifting things at work, so she gave me some advice, and good golly do I owe her! She calls it "Shower Yoga" It's not as bad as it sounds XD I promise! Shower Yoga: You do your normal showering routine, such as scrubbing and washing your hair and whatnot. I do my normal "Stand here and let the world wash off me" in the hot water for a while. It helps relax my troubled mind, just to stand under the water and let myself relax and breathe. It's helped A LOT in my self harm recovery, and I highly recommend it. After cleaning up and doing your thing, you start your yoga First stretch you do is grab your knee and lift it as high as you can, pulling it against your chest. Do this with each knee. You can totally feel it stretch out the muscles on the front of your thighs! After that, you bend yourself completely in half and grab your ankles, relax your back and just pull, and let your shoulders and spine stretch out. Then grab your ankle and pull it upward like you're sitting indian style, one leg at a time, as high as you can and hold it there for a minute at waist level (if you can) After you do both legs, set yourself down on your knees in the shower and lay forward over them, stretching your arms out over your head and towards the faucet. Stay there a moment before arching your back backwards and reaching behind yourself with both arms, stretching your shoulders. Next one is to stay seated in the tub/shower, but turn your waist-and-up around and twist to set your hands on the shower area behind you. This will let your spine twist gently and pop it if needed. Then you stand up, arching each arm over your head and tipping like a teapot, each arm done. Then my favorite: Arch your arms up like you're showing off your muscles, but bend both arms (while still in the L position) backwards like you're squishing your shoulder blades together. Hold for a moment, then fold them in front of your chest and bend from the waist up downwards and let the hot water go over your back and waist. Relax, shake it off, and repeat at random if you'd like. Throw in some random stretches you're familiar with or feel the need to try! My back popped, shoulders, neck, arms, knees, hips, and ankles all popped and the muscles relaxed like crazy. You finish off by rinsing off in much cooler water (not ice cold) but do not start from your head. Start at your feet and work your way up, cooling off your body from the stretching and closing your pores. I feel soooooo much more relaxed and my muscles love me so much right now XD Try it out! Huge stress reliever! Warren