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Hey Warren, I have a lot of thoughts about this. First, you are doing the absolute correct thing by writing about it here. We are here to listen and to help as best we can. Second, I completely understand your hurt, anger, and disillusionment with your therapist. How she could demand that you spell out your goal for therapy is beyond me. I was angry myself when I first read your post. After I calmed down I thought, well, maybe you could give her some goals. Here are some ideas. Obviously (I hope) you are the only judge as to their accuracy for you. I just hope they trigger some ideas: 1. Relief or ways to handle depression. 2. Help with sorting out and planning what to do with your gender expression. 3. Understand what is driving you to hurt yourself, and, learn and implement ways of handling those issues without having to hurt yourself for relief. 4. Help with understanding how you can talk to your family, and, if it doesn't go well, counseling on how you will deal with this. 5. Same thing with your boy friend. This is important, whether or not you stay together. If he leaves or you break up there will be another one. Please do not cancel next week's appointment. These goals are all very important for you. I suggest you write down more, maybe come up with a crazy long list, and then you can consider combining and prioritizing. While I don't think the therapist was tactful or kind, she does have a point. You and she are a team. And as a team, you both need to know where you want to go, what it means to make progress and succeed. So her question is okay even though very poorly presented. Let's keep up the discussion. Emma

I don't even know what to say. I've never been to a therapist...but I thought therapists were supposed to help you figure out things. I would think that not knowing what to expect, or knowing what kind of goals you should set would give them a clue as to how to approach your issues, and then get you in a frame of mind so that you can declare those things. But... I dunno. I think I wouldn't be too happy about tone of today's session either. -Michael

We've talked....enough, I guess. It sort of seems like its not a subject he wants to discuss too much. He says hes open to the conversation and I know he tries really hard to understand and listen, but you can tell from the look on his face that the whole time hes hoping I'll just stop.

Dear Jenny, Congratulations! Your blog looks fine. I'm sure many here would agree with your sentiments about having a feminine existence inside and a masculine on the outside. I certainly fall in that camp. I suggest that you try to watch/listen to a 20/20 episode called "My Secret Self" that is available on YouTube here at this link: It's mostly about children who also experience gender dysphoria but I found it very affirming because I also felt similarly to these kids. But I had an automatic shame response that prevented me from talking about any of my feelings to my parents or anyone else for a very long time. Might I also ask if you are seeing a therapist, or if you can find one? Especially people like us very much need someone we can confide with, share our feelings, and gain some understanding. Therapists are not all the same, of course, but one has to try to find one that works. I highly recommend your taking this course if you can. And yes, please write later. We look forward to hearing from you. Sincerely, Emma

Everyday passes I feel more comfortable in my transformed gender yet confident but I don't think surgery is required. I am working to develop to keep both genders yet switching back & forth. But currently working on how to live for 150 years as cds' r & ways to extend ones physical life ! On YouTube check Shazy Jeo channel

It's only the begining for me but i'm really excited in bringing out the girl in me )