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Best wishes of the season to you as well, Warren, and a Happy New Year!

You guys and your cars... Hair is kinda a big deal, isn't it? Although I'm still closeted, I made a decision a couple of years back that I wasn't going to keep cutting my hair like society insisted, and I've let it grow out. Right now it's about halfway down my back and I LOVE IT! <3 I'm not sure work is terribly happy with it, but at least they haven't called me on the carpet yet. And my parents hate it, but what do you expect? Anyway, I'm glad you were able to get it resolved to your satisfaction! Congrats on the no cutting! I hope things level out for you... we're all pulling for you! And I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have, but I will admit I LOL'ed at the "holidays were great, oh yeah, nearly burned down the house but otherwise they were great!" Glad everything turned out OK and no one was hurt and you could laugh about it after! I hope your holidays were good, and you are enjoying the time with your sister! -Sara

Hey, I do enjoy science fiction! I will have to check out our library and see if they have this. I guess I've always had this feeling of being somewhat alienated from society at large. Sometimes it just feels like I'm an outsider looking in. It's so nice to be able to connect with people that are share similar experiences, so I'm very thankful for this site! I will admit I'm a little fuzzy on the distinction between a support group and a discussion group. But I'm glad you were able to find a support group, and I hope that meeting goes well!

I'm 62 - Told I look much younger - anyway 7 mos. HRT and woah..

Great advice Karen, will look it up now, cheers!

Hello, Concerning telling people about you, I highly suggest getting a copy of True Selves: Understanding Transsexualism--For Families, Friends, Coworkers, and Helping Professionals where part of the book has suggestions on telling others about you and the most important thing to tell them is "It is still me" which is critical when informing others.

We are much alike.As a child, I too was beaten by my father when I wore girls clothes, however my mom actually gave me girls clothes to wear and play in. I did not even think about what I was wearing that much, for me I have always felt that looking like a girl was kind of natural for me. Anyway, now I seem to have the same desire you have -but likely will never make the full change because of the good family ties I currently have. Still I understand your desire to be whole. I do wish you the best in your journey. Dawn

Congratulations on your first step to your true self :-)

Jenni, you seemed to have survived a toxic family and wisely found supportive people (I call them "anchors") who were there for you. Good luck with your HRT.

Thanks mrpauljames, and welcome to TGG. Sorry to hear that so many of your family dropped out of your life. I'm not sure what will happen with my mum...but I'm fairly sure I don't have to worry about my brother. I really wish my mum had expressed her resistance to my true self from day one...I've always been of the belief that it's better to have someone who at first could not accept a person being trans, and then come around and have a change of heart, than it is the other way around like what happened with my mother. I guess I've spent several years trying to prepare myself for losing my mother to her inability to accept me as her son. Most likely, that has just caused me a loss of time...as I'm sure there is no way to ever fully be braced for losing the love, acceptance and/or support of a parent. As for her love...I'm sure I'll always have that. But what good is love without acceptance..... -Michael

I had a simnilar experience with my family members. When I told them I have saved enough money to have my surgeries they informed me "it's about time". They all stated their exceptance and told me all the rite things like "it doesn't matter what you are" come to find out slowly but surely no more family in my life. All I say is don't be blind to love because true love will always be there NO MATTER WHAT! Love shows no favorites. As hard as it may be emotionally to move forward without your "family" you will aquire new family in your life that will accept and love you for who/what you are NOT for who they want you to be. Remember this is your mind, body, and soul NOT anyone elses. Like one of the ladies stated earlier, it does get easier.

I thought about that as well , as you know and so many who transition know this aspect of transitioning is an often unsuspected or unrecognised aspect that many if not most will have to confront in the process of cross gender transition or even complete gender transition . I felt it my responcability as usual to raise the topic and show personal aspects that this is not an singular aspect to one but like many other aspects we all share in these sort of aspects as a community . I may have had a some what easy and consiquently short transition as well but even after I still struggle as do so many . As you know this is just one of the more significant issues we will all deal with at some point .. I have noticed a trend as of late and thought hard whether or not to write this . I wrestled with it because is the subject a bennefit or a hinderance to helping the forum and new members . Or will it force so many to perge only to be back in an even worse situation. I wrote this to emotionally perge realities that I have come to understand within my life , as so many I strive for harmony yet find none when striving for it , yet when I stop and live within my life alone the Happiness and internal joys shine , this perplexes me and I struggle once again , such a vissous cycle that wears on me and so many as well , i suppose the premis of the post is that no matter how badly we want our lives to become compatable we have to often simply move forward knowing we will never forget our past but we must step forward . In my new life I find total acceptance without predudice to my past , but when I remain with those from my past I am often subject to the life I once lived and not allowed to live fully with my new life . This is the brick wall I have struggled to over come and am finding out that no matter how much work I place in removing the barrior there is simply more barriors behide . Conclussion = step back catch my breath , rest and turn to those who have no vested interest in my past only within our futures. If you would like to move this over for me please feel free , just more then my phone will allow lol or I would , guess I can Later .

Stephani, I'm glad you have the support of your therapist. Hopefully you have some local friends who are supportive as well, and of course we love you and support you here at TGGuide. We all have different experiences of course, but I was able to make a sudden transition, literally overnight. I walked away from the old me (figuratively speaking) and emerged as the new me. It took awhile but I sort of merged my life history and worked things out the best I could. I made a conscious decision to just enjoy the process of transition and for the most part, I did. Sure, there were ups and downs and struggles along the way, but that helped me stay the course without losing my mind. This might be a good topic for a post in the forums -- to see how everybody else deals with the emotional turmoil of transition, or just being transgendered. Sending love and hugs. ~ Lori

Smiles , Glad to hear your trip went well . Hugs Steph

Thanks, ladies. All of you always seems to be able to put things in perspective. Your responses, and a little time... have allowed me to sit back and think more clearly. I guess deep down, I know my brother means no harm. I think it just took me by surprise 'cause he and I talk just like any two guys, brothers...about many things - including women. If I look at this logically...I have to believe he is accepting of me being TS, and has no issues with others who might be, or are, TS. I just never imagined he would try to justify using the wrong pronouns concerning someone who might have been TS. So far, besides the "he ain't heavy, he's my sibling" (), the only thing he's asked is if it's okay to continue calling me by the "shortened" version of my nickname...more acceptable (in my mind, and apparently his too) as a name for a guy. I've never had a problem with this as I realize to just up and change the name he's always known me by could be just as difficult as having to change pronouns. I know he accepts therealme, as when I arrived on my recent visit, he asked a favour of me (concerning bathroom habits) that he would not have had to ask of a female visitor. So yeah, I guess it's okay. But no matter what he calls me, I would like for him to understand why he should be respectful of how a person identifies, and react accordingly. -Michael

It will get better, bit by bit they will learn to use the correct gender pronoun. ...and yet, despite everything they WILL make mistakes, especially family as they have a long history to change in their heads. Hugs Caroline

Mike , this is the question isnt it , the one big never leaving the room standing in the corner waiting to pop into your daily conversations question .... When is some one that says they know and understand and accept you for you pops off with the he/she statement , would it have mattered that it was in public concerning a woman he percieved as Trans or would it have been more understandable if it was at the house plopped on the couch watching another springer or morrey episode on Trans this or Trans that , I often get the snide comments flung through out the room when such shows are on , usually from the Daughter , her Boyfriend and My Son , My wife no but she doesnt exactly show her support on a daily basis ... I know that I have given all of them more then an adiquate amount of time to come to gripps with my gender and how I express myself on a daily basis But they all still throw their daggers my way when they feel I am at my weekest and as of late that is often ... The saving light is that I have some Good anti-depressants Now and I simply dont have enough time to think about their ignorant spowtings , it goes in and comes out before I have a second to ponder it , so I guess like Lori and Bonnie have said No matter how long things have been and no matter who it may be , their will all ways be that stupid remark that gets under our skin , can we deal with it like you did by scencible questioning and reason Hopefully , should we have to , One would think that we shouldn't when it comes to family or close loved ones but yet we still do . It sucks and it will happen many more times before your though with transition , unfortunatly you are correct society likes us to believe it is more tollerant and understanding but when the reality is that it has to bite its tounge so it doesnt constantly stick us with thorns . Take care Mike you sweet soul , I will always think you my guy friend from the intercosmic ethernet ... Kiss' you big hansom devil you ... Hugs steph

I wouldn't take it so hard, Michael. Love is all that really matters and I am sure your brother loves you and so does your mother. We can't be everything to them that they expect us to be. I am not everything I expected myself to be. When it comes to transsexuality it is difficult enough to explain it to someone who really wants to understand let alone explain it to people in general. A former highschool girlfriend I am now getting reacquainted with on a friendship level is being very supportive of my transgenderism and is trying to learn all she can about it. She bought me the movie, Transamerica, which I had already seen but she hadn't and so we are in the middle of watching it. Meaning, I talked so much through it pausing every few minutes to explain things that we ran out of time and so she will come again to watch the rest of it. The reason I am bringing this up is because there is a part in it where Bree is sitting in a restaurant and a young girl asks her if she is a boy or a girl. That freaks Bree out. The comparative part comes later when Bree and her son are at the house of an mtf friend who is having a TG party. Bree comments about how one women is so not passable. Her friend tells her she is a GG from Mary Kay. The point being, we all do it. The important part is what we do with that information, acceptance or non-acceptance. When someone asks a question or makes a statement about someone who is transgender or transgenderism in general we should try to answer the question without judgement. Being able to talk about it is a really big thing. It is more important than we may think. I am elated when I can talk to someone about it. I wouldn't be upset with your brother. He felt free enough to talk to you about it in the first place. Correct his thinking, discuss things if need be but leave the door open for more questions or comments so that you can continue to educate him. If you close that door out of anger or disappointment he will stop talking to you about it. I hope this helps. hugs, Bonnie

My family took a long time to come around and I still notice they often just omit any gender pronouns when referring to me. Makes me wonder what they call me when I'm not around. I transitioned a long, long time ago so they should be used to me. Still, I think they do love me, and accept me as much as they are capable. It has surely been a long road but I guess I'm lucky. Sometimes I just have to keep a thick skin. Good luck with the family and loved ones. Hugs, Lori

Thank you my dear, tears are anything but weakness .... They are the strongest thing I know they can hold every emotion every thought and every feeling , they bring us relief and joy .... Thank you sorry I know you added this a long time back but I am just wondering through my tidbits and wanted to reply to those I missed... Huggs