Leaderboard

So we (my wife and I) did it. We finally inflicted Daniella on an unsuspecting public for the first time. Wow, what fun! The evening was a crossdresser/transvestite/trans person/drag queen etc (all protocols observed I hope) friendly party held at a local (gay) club/bar. It was therefore a friendly place to go to for a first time, shy and nervous girl. The evening was a real clandestine affair; there may be a future for us in military intelligence after all. After attending a family oriented afternoon social, we got home at 7 pm. I showered, did a final hair removal and face shave. We then waited for the babysitter to arrive. We said our goodbyes etc and went to the (unoccupied) guest flat on our property where I had stashed my kit and got dressed, painted nails, and did make-up and hair. My wife went to get the car and I locked up and waited outside. At that point disaster struck! The babysitter came out to see why the car was moving (she had expected us to be gone by then and was afraid someone was stealing the cars). I don't know if she saw me or not as I beat a hasty and slightly wobbly retreat, into the shadows, in my stilettos. Oh well, no point crying over spilled milk. We drove to the venue which took about 10 minutes. I was expecting police roadblock with full body searches at every corner (police road blocks are a feature of life in South Africa), but it seems the South African Police intelligence gathering regarding first time crossdressers inflicting themselves on the innocent public is woefully (and thankfully) inadequate. We arrived at the club and parked the car we could see a few other trans people, crossdressers, drag queens etc standing outside the club and that made me feel better; I was very keen to get in. I got out the car as elegantly as I could (hopefully I didn't flash the security guard: Paris Hilton has my sympathies) and in we went. I had made contact with a few of the attendees on Facebook beforehand and they recognized us right off. They were welcoming, friendly and supportive of both me and my wife. I have seldom been made to feel so much a part of a new group of people so quickly. We got drinks and chatted (I probably bored them all with my story of the babysitter, but I suspect they all remember their first time and appreciate the stress involved). We danced, we talked, we walked around a bit and danced some more. It was great. There was another crossdresser's wife there so my wife had company too which was very nice. There was a self-confessed 'tranny chaser' at the club who looked me up and down but kept his hands to himself, not sure if I should be insulted or not? At around 11-30 my wife had developed a headache and was not feeling too good (loud music is not really her thing), so we left. I could have stayed as I did not want the night to end but we are in this together so we walked through the parking lot greeted the security guard and got in the car as elegantly as I could. My wife drove us home and once again the police's intelligence gathering proved to be far from adequate as we arrived home unmolested. Once we pulled in to the drive way I reluctantly pulled my jeans and jersey on over my dress, took off my wig and earrings and replaced my stilettos with street shoes. I walked into the house and made a beeline for my bathroom while my wife relieved the babysitter. My wife and I spoke lots about this on Sunday night (first chance we had) and we both had so much fun! We are up for it again and are looking forward to more adventures. It was so good being out dressed and being accepted for who and what we are. I do have to work on my presentation skills and especially the behaviours; it is easy to 'lapse' into male behaviours. I appreciate going to a (gay) night club hosting an evening for crossdressers/drag queens etc isn't quite the same thing as shopping, eating etc in 'general public' but it was still a big step for me. There will be more such adventures to follow I am sure.

I've been ruminating about my post "No Big Deal" over the past few days and wondering why I was unable to let it go. For example, if the balance of threats and concerns weighs so heavily on the Significant Other (i.e., the cisgender person) then by what right does the Transgender person express herself, especially if she is uncertain about her needs to transition her sex? I think I figured it out this morning. I think it boils down to whether the issue is coming from the individual's inherent core or from societal mores. As I've written in my blog and other TGG posts I am very uncertain about where my transgender self resides under the umbrella of its definition. These days I think I'm much more at the crossdresser end than toward transition. But one thing I can't deny: my transgender needs/desires/self is at the core of my being. They are inherent and immutable. I can't be "cured" of them through therapy, suppression, or denial. On the Significant Other's side her feelings are no less valid and no doubt her spouse's disclosures are a surprise and may cause her to question her trust in her husband and her own instincts. That said, however, it seems to me that at least some of the wife's concerns that I listed in my post are derived more from what she's been taught that society expects and approves of. Let me emphasize that the emotions of both people are equally valid and real. But I think that measured over time, the transgender person's will last longer - forever, if you will - and it's possible that some of the cisgender partner's emotions will wane as she learns that her husband's disclosure doesn't really change anything substantial in their relationship; the changes are largely superficial. And with time and open and loving communication it's possible that the cisgender partner may come to realize that her husband's statement "It's no big deal" is more true than she thought initially. Emma P.S. My thanks to a friend who coached me on the use of pronouns. Hope I got it better this time!

Hi Emma Thanks for the feedback. Yes I am being deliberately provocative with my title and yes, the word "tranny" can be offensive, but I am happy to 'reclaim' it and use it ironically and (I hope) humorously). For me, I look at what is intended by the use of the word. If the user is intending to be offensive then it is offensive, otherwise not. I am sorry if I offended, it was certainly not my intent but at least I got noticed :-) I have a few more ramblings itching to get out there. Looking forward to looking around and participating. Daniella

Hi Daniella, Welcome to TG Guide. When I first saw the title of this post I dismissed it as yet another person looking for a thrill. But I read your Hello post and profile, and decided to read this. It's a good story and congratulations on your adventure with your wife! But for the title, I personally don't care for use of "tranny" anywhere, as I find it to be derogatory and used by people that attempt to put us down. But that's only my feedback. I hope you like it here and make lots of friends. Look around, add your comments and thoughts! And add more blog posts, too. Take care, Emma