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Congratulations, Karen! :D

Emma, so glad for you that the first meeting was such a positive experience! It's great that you were able to find such a welcoming group of people! Only one thing I'm not entirely sure of... Why are there fish on a train? ;)

I think I tend to agree with Emma and Michael on this one.

I have seen that same argument made on general feminism sites, too. Of course, if we had been given the choice, many (most?) of us would have chosen to grow up as female. Unfortunately, that's not how it works, though. That last sentence is wonderful... if only more people in the world would take that sentiment to heart!

nowhere to buy a bra except online here so bought LOTS of stuff that didn't fit... but now I know my size is cool yu gt served in hat store when you shopped for a bra! that sounded very excitng Swan

Wonderful news!!! It's so much better and important to have a professional fit you for a bra.

:) have an awesome weekend KAREN ! Veronica.

I agree with you both- communication is paramount to the success of a loving relationship." While a valid and valuable argument to the positive, there is much to be said about a promise made should be a promise kept and when one of the marital parties throws in something that the other was not expecting (I am assuming, not knowing) then the blindsided party is naturally more likely to have some very distinct feelings of violation, or hurt, and maybe even fel like it is a direct assault on their own cisgen femininity. Marriage is a gift that people give to each other. I mean lets face it, someone trusts you enough to get naked in frnt of you, to strip down to their deepest darkest secrets.. not just once like an emotional hit and run but every day. If they trust you to be there for them and trust that you will love them unconditionally, then you must be willing to tust as eqully that right from the start, you are acceptable to them as well, in all your secrets and nakedness. (general speak-you=all and anyone) And before one springs a surprise like someting they never new about or bargained for like cross dressing, you should be willing to unveil your secrets as well. Communication has to start from the start. If I was married, and what I presumed to be our life together was suddnely disrupted by something like "Happy fifth anniversary, and Oh by the way, I have a fourteen year old that I never told you about" or "Hi honey, I got the groceries, milk was on sale, two for one.. I got your favorite ice cream, and by the way, I had an addadicktome in my late thirties and thats why you can't get prenant now, which shelf did you say you want me to put the butter on?" yeah that just doesn't work. Comunication is key but for a marriage to thrive and be healthy, both parties have to communicate from the start.

Truthfully, I've never understood this business of "reclaiming" something. It was never "ours" to begin with. In order to reclaim something, it had to have been yours from the start, then it was taken away. Instead, it (and all other slurs) belonged to the people who intended to hurt with such terms. For all those who prefer to use derrogatory terms and slurs in an effort to take the air out of the sails of those who mean them in a hurtful way... more power to ya's. I really don't think the people who mean it in a hurtful way give a good flip about any group allegedly "reclaiming" a word. The people who don't like any person belonging to any particular group are going to continue to use those terms whenever they want or feel they can get away with it. Personally, I don't believe any person belonging to any group should sink to using the very terms that others intend as demeaning, devaluing, discrediting and dehumanizing. But that's just my opinion. -Michael

Dani, I think I see your point. An example might be use of the "n-word" for blacks. I occasionally hear one black using it to another as if they have a common bond, like "Hey bro, mind if I ask a favor of you?" (Replace 'bro' with the n-word.) But, notice that even in this message I'm not spelling out the n-word. Why? Because I know how much weight and hurt that word carries. "Tranny" has similar baggage. As does "she-male" and others. Oh sure, I can imagine that in the right setting, I might joke with Veronica that way if we were both dressed en femme. But for me I'd prefer not to hear it. What about changing public perception? I think we have enough to contend with regarding acceptance and support for trans people. Trying to also "change the meaning" of what is used as a derogatory slur seems too much. I recall the days in the 60s when my grandfather used the n-word when talking about blacks. And I remember when "black" and "gay" words emerged as friendly terms for blacks and homosexual men. I think we need to follow in their footsteps. Last, I'd like to express my appreciation for your bringing this up for discussion here. That's a good thing to do. You go, Girl! Emma

and i thought coming out in a small city population over 20k was going to be tough nothing of it was accepted 99% of people i met did not care nor mind and even though i have since moved to very small village (hamlet) every body just accepted me i prey that some day that can be the same all around the world