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Emma, You have expressed thoughts, fears, emotions that I too have had. Yesterday my new UK passport arrived, whilst I was thrilled to be Eve and have F printed for gender, I was none-the-less tinged with slight feelings of remorse and trepidation for the future, I hadn't had those feelings for the previous 3 months.....Trepidation, yes worrying about others reacting to me (mostly unfounded), remorse probably the final farewell to Steve.

Have you considered counseling? Possibly through an LGBT center in your area? I've heard from a lot of people that are feeling the same as you are now. You are far from alone. Unfortunately, the stigma of being transgender or even somewhere along the spectrum, makes people afraid to talk about it and leads to feelings of isolation. Writing about what you are going through can be therapeutic too:) There really is a lot of support out there. Keep us posted and good luck:) KML

I agree Karen. I have tried many other sites, social, forums, chat rooms, etc. I never felt like I fit in on any of them them. Rarely were actual issues and experiences discussed, it was usually small talk or people asking if you want to snap chat. TGGuide is different.

Dear Karen, Thank you for your kind words, and I agree with you one hundred percent about TG Guide. Before finding TGG I found other sites that just didn't do it for me. I really love the diversity we have here, with MTF and FTM people, and all colors of the transgender rainbow. I'm so thankful and like you, honored to be a part of it. Hugs, Emma

You have handled things very well in my opinion. I think you will continue to get a good reception based on your approach. A person would have to be an ass to respond unkindly. I think this is where you will find out who your friends really are. Based on my own experience, I suspect you will see that some old friends simply drift away. Others will become closer because of this experience. You may also be pleasantly surprised to see some people, who had seemed indifferent, step up to support you.

What you are going through is commonplace for someone who is unsure of their gender identity and are not alone by any means. The first step to validate or invalidate your gender is to seek out professional assistance as option one while support groups are great they are in my opinion option two as it’s a roll of the dice to whom provides information which may or may not be a professional. Our first instinct is to bury thoughts of being in the wrong body for what are brains perceive as the opposite to what we are physically. This may or may not help but in only for a moment in time and as we age the urges become stronger if there is that chemical imbalance that is the root of the feelings. There are five levels of transgender which starts off with sexual fantasy on one end of the spectrum while on the other end, the undeniable drive to transition physically. Between these two are varying levels of the two ends. A professional can guide you to the most appropriate level and possible remedies to satisfy those feelings swirling through your brain. To bury and ignore these feelings in my opinion can lead to an unhealthy and painful existence in most cases while validation is the first step to freedom Any ways writing out your thoughts is a great step forward.

Does my heart good to hear this because it wasn't always clear what direction to go. Like the greater society, I believe our diversity is our strength. I am so happy that some find something meaningful here. Thank you for the kind words Karen. :)

Hi Eve, Congratulations on your new passport! My, that must be thrilling. What an achievement and important milestone. I'm happy to hear that you (and others here) feel an emotional connection to this post. I was a bit anxious to write it and to click the publish button. I think your thoughts now are like those any of us feel when we cross a threshold. Like graduation, we wonder and fret (at least a bit) about what the future will bring. Remember what got you here, what led you to your achievement. And continue your wonderful journey. I'm excited for you! Emma

Dear Rae, I agree with Kristi, your confusion, dismay, and worries are all very familiar. I don't mean to minimize but to let you know that you're far from alone. I am glad to have met you here, to read your writings, and hope to read much more from you. I also agree that counseling can be very helpful. That said, it was and is hard at times for me and maybe like you to open up about what's really happening below the surface. Please try to be as open and vulnerable as you can. Therapists are here trying to help us. Some are better than others, and we connect with some better than others too. But until we open our heart we cannot really know. I wish you the very best, Rae, I mean that. Hugs, Emma

Great post Emma:) I liked the 6 steps too. They should be memorized and repeated everyday!

Good for you, Karen! I'll bet you're feeling very good; you deserve all of those feelings. We all wish you the very best.

My first thought was, let's give this a week or two and see who drops off my friend list or don't hear from again.

That's really nice Karen, I'm glad it went well for you. People can be very surprising and pleasantly do things that you wouldn't have expected them to do.........

Lori, when you have time it would be a good idea to discuss a self-defense training CD as I don't have any of the equipment to do this. By no means am I camera shy and would love to get this information out to our community.

We all come from different backgrounds. Absolutely no disrespect intended for anyone... I believe the LGBT community should be armed and well trained to defend themselves in so far as they are able to do so legally, are mentally capable and are willing to accept the responsibilities of doing so. Great to see you getting back into training Karen! I have a feeling you're going to find that you're more successful now than ever before! I really like Monica's suggestion about the self defense training DVD set. Perhaps we should talk about that sometime Karen. I have facilities and video equipment.

Thanks Emma, After reading your latest blog, I realise that we have had a lot of similar experiences, this also helps me to get on with my life. Peck on the cheek! Eve.

Great advice for anybody about anything!

Hi Eve, Good to hear your update, writing articles, out and about with your wife (and more Schrodinger's Passes!), and thank you for posting the links to the video and the TG process in the UK. In my opinion the "bad language" is quite minimal and the overall document has a lot of value. It always helps me to hear about other's experiences and to recognize that we're part of a community of wonderful people. Hugs, Emma

Thanks for sharing Emma, lots of wisdom here.

You seem to have a remarkable constitution Karen. best of luck and have fun ! :)

Well we call these "creeps" Tranny Chasers here in the UK. I can't ever imagine doing sex with a man, it quite frankly turns me off! I can't see what my wife saw in me as a man before we married. It's only since I have transgendered that I have come to think this way. When I went to the gender clinic I asked to become a lesbian! Women are more gentle and loving and frankly amazing! That of course includes trans Women.

Karen, I'm not surprised that you got many hits from guys. You are a beautiful women. I am curious if you have ever felt like you have been fetishized by a woman. I would think that it's possible, but not as likely as with men. Thank you for your input:) KM

Class went extremely well and have been invited back to teach again next month. Several of the students indicated they were sure there would be bruising tomorrow on their arms. I mention this because it happens in every class, hit your partner time and time again over four hours and it is bound to happen. I was mindful of my condition so only did a few techniques that took someone down to the ground and said I would show that in the next class when I have recovered fully.

So True.

I am into females but last week decided to see what interest there was for a post-op on Match dating service. Thought that there would be zero hits especially when the first line in my introduction said "To start off, I was born a male and just made the transition to female through surgery". Did not check for hit until three days later and had about 20 'likes', 'winks' and email messages. I could not reply as I am a free member thinking way pay 14.99 per month when there would be no hits. Well I'd say about three quarters appeared (but sure) to be after the fetish thing. Guess I will never know because I am not really into men. So my feeling is many are into it for the fetish. Think I will stick with females and have no doubt that I will find someone as there are already females who have expressed interest in me.

Thank you so much Monica:))) I will check that out and will never give up. <3 KM

Karen, may I suggest that you create a DVD set for those that can not attend your classes . . .

Am a cisgender (born female) Lesbian, and was very happily involved with a transwoman who identified as a Lesbian for ten years. Frankly, I am sick of the politics of the cisgender Lesbian community and prefer transwoman Lesbians. Recommend exploring http://www.TGPersonals.com, as I feel it is one of the most wholesome transgender dating websites. Just a warning, though, you will find a few creeps in even the best Internet dating websites. Don't give up!

Just to clarify . . . am reading a fascinating book, "Community In Transition," and the body map is how a transgender person sees how they look, even before transitioning. This concept is similar to how a person missing a limb can sense where their toes or fingers are, even though they are not there. The writer explained that the same place in the brain controls "false limbs" as well as the look and sensation of the perceived body of the transgender person. Would love to see more research into this!

Jennifer, this is an interesting topic. I don't know how much you've looked into this or have practiced. You may know more about it than I do. I've read that everyone's voice can deepen somewhat as they age, so it is something that I am concerned about and I try to do voice exercises as much as possible. Some of the exercises are fun too...like singing:) I noticed that there are links to voice training articles and videos here on TGGuide. If you are interested, I could also share links to some of my favorites videos also. So, just in case you haven't yet taken the step to voice feminization, here are some of the basics as I know them. There are a lot of ways to feminize the voice, pitch is just one part of it. There are many things that together make a voice sound believably feminine...resonance, tone, etc. Woman also have a beautiful kind of singing voice quality and vary pitch and emphasis more within words from syllable to syllable. Basically, women talk more in their mouth and head than their throat or chest. They even move their mouths differently while speaking. I've read that it is easier for the deaf to read women's lips than men's because of this. As for seeing the opposite gender in the mirror, does that mean everyone, or transgenders? I can say that there is truth to that, at least for me. I can't say though if it was just me subconsciously focusing on characteristics that are feminine and ignoring anything that might be considered masculine or something else. Maybe I am just seeing how I want to be seen, or the way that I feel inside.

I understand and respect people who don't believe in carrying a weapon but I like to be able to up the anty with a impact tool such as a specially made pen or flashlight. I would say a well trained person without tools/weapons and good de-escalation skills will be fine in most cases but there are times when that is not enough. If an average built man clobbers an average built female "game over" in most cases. And the nice thing here is we can (if you are in the right) use disparity of force in these situations. What I DO NOT believe is something to count on is OC or pepper-spray as this can go against you in many ways and many push OC and pepper-spray and don't get me started on tasers.

Karen, I would LOVE to take your class, as I don't believe in carrying any kind of weapons!