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I am fairly early on in the process, but it takes some people a long time to process things, or they just don't know what to say! We can can be intimidating!! Lol! That being said, sounds like an awesome conversation.

Congrats with your new passport! When I got my new ID documents I had a mini celebration. Love Charl -o0o-

I'm so glad for you Karen, I still have some former colleagues who haven't spoken to me since I changed my identity in December, however there have been others whom I didn't really get along with formerly who have been great with me since.....................people, they're all different!Cheers, Eve

Lisa, You really need to take your time introducing your wife to your being Trans, as the saying goes softly softly catchee monkey.......... None the less, I wish you good luck, and can tell you that you're in for an amazing journey........ Hugs, Eve

Don't get me started! It happens all the time >:|

I would like her to see me too. Part of it is we are so busy and we rarely get more than a couple of mins together alone because of the kids.

Small set-back, none of the clothes I ordered were the correct size I suspected that might be an issue when ordering on-line, when it was an area of clothing I have purchased before. I'm planning to return these at the store and then shop while I'm there

Hi Eve, Sounds delightful to caravan in Holland, cook outside, and just take life a little slower. We love to "go camping" also, but we typically bring a tent, and especially like camping in and around Mendocino, California, with a view of the ocean. Have a blast and I look forward to hearing about your trip when you return. Hugs, Emma

Thought I show how involved I am with computer programming at Microsoft. I go by kevininstructor because my Microsoft handler said changing to say kareninstructor would throw people off. I did include my Facebook link though as it is no a upfront giveaway. https://social.msdn.microsoft.com/Profile/kevininstructor

Things that come to mind (and there are surely more) when announcing oneself to others is. Stereotypes learned from television, simply the fear of the unknown, they don't watch television and make something up in their own mind, religion, if God made you a male you have no right to change this. Religion played into my transition on at least three people in my case but all three came around in the end. They had the decency to meet with me and ask questions. The woman I wrote about never did but now she is a chatterbox in recent days.

Hi Emma, So sorry that you've been bullied by this person, it happens over here too, some of the full-time and fully transgendered, were quite "stand offish" with me when I made my first faltering steps as Trans, perhaps they needed to do this, to help convince themselves of their own "status" of being superior to me at that time. I remember thinking that it seemed to be hierarchical, something that I had not long left behind as a SCUBA Diver. Bluntly, it's distasteful, destructive, and saps what small amount of self confidence that someone starting out on their journey might possess........... Hugs, Eve

Dear Lisa, I can't imagine your wife not seeing you dressed after two years, and having started transition no less. I agree that surprising her would likely backfire. I just hope you two can talk about it and set up a place and time for her to get to know the new you. I think that is a higher priority to discuss with your therapist than coming out to your children and pastor, but that's only my opinion and obviously don't walk in your shoes. Emma

Hi Lisa, Thanks very much for your thoughts and advice. I am not contemplating transition at least right now. Trust me, I've really tried to figure out who and where I am. For like fifty years. I finally realized that I needed some space, time, and patience to explore. I can't do it all in my head. Please understand too, that it's a two way street. I have my issues, she has hers. I need to give her patience and understanding too. In the end, I hope, we will meet in the middle somewhere, with a stronger bond than ever before. Thanks again, Lisa, for your thoughtful comments. I hope all is going well with you. Emma

Wow. Quite a long post and comments. Wonderful! The core issue is acceptance and understanding. No logical argument can be applied to this. A person just needs to accept a person who is transgender and then seek understanding. That is where things become difficult. If you don't know who you are or where you are going and leave things open ended, a spouse will feel off-balance such that they do not know what to expect or know who you are as person. They will build walls because of lack of emotional trust. What has helped me, is that I always try to determine something concrete, what I know about myself that I can clearly communicate. And for all of the stuff that I don't know, that we will figure it out together. One thing that I have been very clear about these last six months is the following: either I need to figure out ways to cope or I will have to transition. Now, I consider myself, generally a very self-aware person. What I did not realize, but do now is that the anxiety which envelopes you when you can no longer cope is overwhelming. I just went through 3 weeks of hell. It is like getting thrown into the fire. I always thought that my decision to transition would come after careful evaluation and contemplation. It can happen that way, but ultimately the alternative happened in my case. At that point, you just give in. You have no choice. For many of us here who are contemplating transition, just be aware that this can happen. And let your spouses or SO's know that as well. So, that they can face this with you, with their eyes wide open knowing the worst possible outcome. They need to know how serious this really is! I've been through the ringer my entire life, but I had no idea that I would essentially have high anxiety and high blood pressure for 3 weeks. It could have killed me. I almost blacked out driving my car, etc. Bad stuff. Anyways, Emma be brave. I didn't mean to scare you and I hope I helped. It scared me, so I feel scared for everyone else.

Christie, I am so proud of you! You are doing great!

That's so nice! It really does just take some people time, but I guess the silver lining in that is that you get additional moments like this.

Best wishes, Karen, and good luck with the new language! :)

Karen, We understand and look forward to your return! Monica

Karen, Upgrades. You have my condolences! Best of luck! We'll leave a light on for ya ! Veronica.

Monica, I agree with you. She's an older woman (about 70, I think) and I guess she was caught flat-footed. Before we went to dinner (while the meeting was adjourning) I noticed that her lips were kind of trembling. At the time I assumed it was kind of an older-woman's twitch if you know what I mean, but when we were at dinner she asked me how I was doing. I told her that I was fine (and the transwoman in question was sitting next to me and I didn't want to get into another confrontation anyway). In hindsight I could have asked Judy (the therapist) how she was doing since evidently she was also affected by the whole thing. Anyway, she promised to follow up and I'm hopeful it will all blow over. The other two transwomen in last night's meeting are delightful and I enjoy their company a lot. Emma

Emma, in a group therapy situation it is the THERAPIST'S JOB to maintain an EMOTIONALLY SAFE atmosphere! Monica

So I have a message to you all, believe in yourself, be who you really are. I need to remember this. It's what I'm trying to do, learn who I am and be okay with being myself. I'm making progress but last night at the TG Support Group a transitioned transwoman in her 70s got all confrontational with me, accusing me of not being women enough, feminine-enough, trans-enough, committed enough to being transgender. It hurt me deeply. I countered her politely enough (which was hard) and this morning wrote an email to the therapist who leads the meeting. Here's a short excerpt: I suppose she has her own issues and maybe that's one reason she attends the group. On the way to our cars A___ kindly patted me on the back for standing up to J___, saying she needs to be taken down a peg or two from time to time. Fine, but that's no excuse for J___'s being a bully. We all have our conceptions of what it means to be feminine based on inner feelings, observations, and perhaps some wishful thinking. To me, part of being feminine means it's okay to be lighthearted and sweet, vulnerable and feeling, sensitive and caring. The therapist wrote back saying she was also deeply disturbed by the confrontation. (I wonder why she didn't say anything last night but I imagine she was flabbergasted.) Anyway I'm sorry if I'm stealing from your parade. Like everyone here I share in their congratulations and support of your progress. Emma

Great ideas for blogging Lori, I'll give 'em a shot! Thanx!

Dear Ms. emttracy you are a very rich woman! Know why to have had a friend like Tracy in your life.I 'm deeply sorry for your loss. I apologize for not seeing this post quicker, and responding. Hope I don't bring up a sad moument. maybe you have room in your heart for a new special friend??? Best wishes