Leaderboard

That all sounds so wonderful! Both the travel and the response you got!

Hi Christie, So glad you are writing this, it very much reminds me of my own recent experiences, even though they are relatively recent, they now seem far off. I also had feelings of being male the female just like the tide ebbing and flooding, but the male feelings (which also gave uncertainty) started to get fewer and further between. Are you on hormones and anti-androgens yet? I found that after 2 years of oestrogen it was a slow and gradual process of riding myself of the alternating male and female feelings, after starting anti-androgens the process has quickened quite markedly and I no longer have any male feelings, and I feel totally normal as Eve, I also like the way my female identity has grown with my preferring to express myself as a female professional with an smart office look rather than the overtly girlish leather minis, and boots that I started out with 3 years ago. Good luck with your shopping, but remember the little signifiers such as jewllery, they make such a difference. Pearls never seem to go out of fashion and give such an up-market look ,when worn with classy clothes, and a nice perfume such as Giorgio (the yellow one!). Cheers and hugs, Eve

I like the analogy of this journey parallel to a ride on a train but for many it's a rollercoaster in that there are many ups and downs along the way, when there is a down pick yourself up and make that low into a high. This journey is never ending as I see it but at some point things will flatten out and become a new norm which you may not recognize as what happen in my case. If possible don't dwell on the negative but how you can turn the negative into a learning experience and be better equipped to deal with it if this happens again. Try and meet each and every day with a smile, smiling is contagious which can turn negative thoughts of others into positive thoughts which will come back you way a hundred fold and smiling is a freebie.

Christie and Emma, All aboard on the TG train! Seriously, in my opinion, trying to decide on gender and sexual orientation, or sexual orientation BEFORE gender, is confusing. It is best to find your true gender (internal gender), THEN sexual orientation, IN REFERENCE to the true gender, to know sexual orientation. Just as an adolescent experimenting with sexuality does not reflect on true sexual orientation (exploring homosexuality does not make him or her a homosexual, for example), when one first transitions, just like an adolescent, the person may explore different sexual orientations, before finding the sexual orientation that is right for him or her. Changing your mind on your sexual orientation does not make you a liar . . . as we all are a work in progress . . . Monica

Hi Christie, All of your fears are perfectly normal and understandable. And I can add #4! The fear that, after doing all this, going through so much, that you actually DO go back, retreat. But here's the thing: I don't know you well, of course, but I really doubt that you will go back, at least not all the way. Yes, you may find that you actually want to live an "agender" life. And that's okay. Or maybe settle on one side or the other and move back and forth a little (bigender). Whenever. If you had not done what your are doing you would never really know what is right for you. And, let's face it, none of this is static. Your feelings about what you need may evolve over your future years. That's okay too. Thank goodness you have a good and protected job. Also, I keep reading about how younger people are much more open and accepting of everyone under the TG umbrella. So you have that going for you too. Remember this, please: my gender therapist says that the journey is like riding a train, and there are many stations you can visit along the TG tracks. From time to time we get off the train to explore an area, and sometimes we stay. Other times we get back on and go further, and sometimes we take the train back a station or several. It's all okay on the TG Train! Hugs, Emma