Leaderboard

I had a great day yesterday, I went to London (even the traffic was good!) to Charing Cross Gender Identity Clinic (ChX GIC) for an appointment with Dr Leighton Seal, he's their Endocrinologist. He really is one of the most helpful Doctors I've ever met, he seemed willing to arrange the best available treatments within medical guidlines, we talked about which oestrogen traetments were more efficient, epidermal patches or tablets, I was on patches due to previous liver concerns, which are now allayed. So I was given the choice and I elected for tablets after he said that they were the more efficient regime (like many women I also want my boobs to be larger LoL), he also doubled up my Finasteride dosage, so that I now don't have to halve the tablets anymore. The Decapeptyl injection regime that I'm on also, has really boosted the previous half tablet regime, my hair regrowth has dramatically increased since January, so I'm really hoping that the extra Finasteride will speed the re-growth further. I have found, contrary to some other girls and boys, that ChX GIC is a most helpful and friendly institution that really cares about it's patients (for want of a better term). I can only hope that it will always continue to exist, in a quite destructive right wing governmental environment where more and more public services are privatised. So I came away as a very happy girl......................... Cheers, Eve

I went to see an endocrinologist on Friday after work. A somewhat long journey out to Queens, but worth the trip. After seeing 2 different assistants (one who was getting some additional background information, the other did some basic checking - blood pressure, heart rate, etc.), I finally saw the doctor. I hadn't fully decided on whether or not I was going to pursue HRT when I went to see him, I wanted to see how I reacted to having an actual doctor give me information, as opposed to just doing my own research, I thought that would make it more concrete, more real. Well, it did. And I have to say that my mood kept getting better and better as he went on, and by the time I left his office I was feeling quite happy (when I tried to identify how I felt it took a few adjectives before I finally hit on "happy," it's not a feeling that I've experienced that much in my life, not at this level anyway). At one point he explained that once I'm on hormones long enough I would start to be treated by doctors more as a woman - mammograms, etc. At that point I asked if it was normal that even that made me feel happy? Anyway, the decision still isn't made, but it feels much closer. I have to work through the remaining fears a bit more, to make sure they're not significant enough to stand in the way. xoxo Christie

Recently, in the past two weeks I have noticed my brain is working differently than in the past. I labeled this entry intangibles because as per the definition it is hard to touch on. It all began last week, there was something that felt different in my thoughts. Sometimes I was razor sharp with the task at hand but other times I was off in my own little world. The only thing that makes sense is that this is a cumulative effect of being o hormones. I am truly thinking more like a cisgender females more and more each day and will be interesting to see how far this goes. Think this is one of my shortest entries but an important one too.

Eve, I certainly can't say that I was never happy as a man, but there was so much more unhappiness, and a general feeling of something being not right (in some of my more depressed states I consciously thought "why can't I just be normal?" or something like that). And I've definitely been happier since "coming out" and starting to transition. The "malaise" that had followed me through almost my entire life lifted almost immediately and has stayed away. I don't say that I'll never be depressed again, but it seems like it won't be as all-encompassing as it was. xoxo Christie

Christie, I found that as soon as I had changed my name and was on homones I have been treated as female by medical staff. Yes, I got sent appointments for smear tests, breast screening etc., it made me laugh out loud, don't know how they'd do a smear test on me...................! Yes (or should I say no!) I can't say if I was happy as a male or not, but I do feel happier as female perhaps differently, depends on what or how we each construe or define as happiness........& that's getting too philosophical for me.... Please post your performance links! Cheers, Eve