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Yeah it's another one of those things that you didn't see coming! I'd just say me too! & I love it!

Remember when dating that many tend to leave their guard down which is unwise. Meeting for drinks, never accept a glass of something that you did not see being opened or go to the restroom leaving your drink there on the table. There are people who might lace your drink with some form of date rape drug. Tell a friend your plans and when you are expected home with a check in. If possible, and when appropriate take a picture of their car's tags and email to a friend so that if something bad happens this can be given to police. Never invite them back to your place until you are comfortable which for me might be three or four dates and then ahead of time will make sure valuables are hidden. In regards to transgender, as Monica indicated to disclose this until they have acknowledge this fact. I have needed to do this a handful of times, not with online dating but when out with friends where it happens somewhat like they come over to your table and interjecting into your conversation, ask to buy you a drink etc. Be careful how you tell them you are trans as it can offend their manhood especially if they are intoxicated.

You might soon start to feel a small lump forming behind your nipples, as your breasts really start to bud. Some girls then experience growth for about 18 - 24 months at which point growth starts to slow down a bit or stop, but it doesn't always stop. However some girls who have gone all the way past GRS and taking HRT for 3-4 years or more are still relatively flat chested, but in all cases as Karen has alluded to, facial features noticably change, people tell me that mine have, but I didn't take any photo's because I never liked my face as a male, I regret not doing that now. I only have a couple of old crappy photo's as me as a male...................... Changes of mood or moodswing if you prefer are relatively common, it's rather like being a teenager, one day child like the next more adult like and so forth. You have to realise that you have to go through female puberty, no matter what your cis age is.

I think it's healthy to look back and one's self through images to see the changes and how far you have come in a transition. I never did but a good friend of mine took pictures over the years from 2007 till the present and now happy she did so. One of the small but important changes I see in your pictures is no smile as a male to smiling as a female. I can't imagine anything but a bright future for you.

If I may suggest, take pictures of your face every month. In about 12 months look back at the first and the last, you should see changes that are not seen over the duration of the 12 months. This happened with me, could not believe the difference.

Warren, You need to take your meds. There is nothing professional help can do for you if you do not. If you can leave your room and your house everyday for a while, please do. I feel like there are others around you, in your community, who could benefit from your experience.

Dear Warren, Would like to add to Karen and Christie, one more thing. Think we ALL sometimes feel uncomfortable when things are going right, that we don't deserve it. When we find true love, often we do something to sabotage it. Also, I think we ALL sometimes feel like frauds, and thus do not deserve the good things in our lives. The above feelings have to be addressed in therapy, as often this comes from abuse in EARLY CHILDHOOD, where we are not conscious of the dynamics. Had to struggle with the above myself, as I was abused in early childhood and beyond. Therapy and other therapeutic measures helped me. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Warren, you DESERVE TO FEEL GOOD and HAVE GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO YOU! Your friend, Monica

Warren, I'm so sorry about everything you're going through. I don't have much to add beyond what Karen said (and I completely agree with her), except that perhaps there is another therapist you could talk to besides the one who directed you to the suicide hotline? Christie

Warren, I can even fathom what you are going through and wish there was something I could do for you. The emotions that are coursing through you are very powerful and surely there is more pull to go deeper into the abyss then moving out of your state of mind.I truly hope you can pull away from the darkness. Hopefully you can beat the sadness and despair, get a decent job that will allow you to make money to remove your breast and receive hormone treatment so you can be anatomically correct for the most part. From reading this entry I think that you are in a toxic environment in how people around you are not allowing you to be who you need to be and that in my mind needs to change which of course is not something easy to do. I would guess that some in your shoes leave home to get away from such a negative environment but if not done right can be worst than staying where they are at. It may seem unrealistic but do consider what you can do in a positive way to get out of this environment (which I am guessing some will disagree with). I truly hope you can get past this dark time and be the person you are inside.

Melody, good for you for being so strong and self-assured. I could use some of your pixie dust, girl! We are all at different places in our wildly different journeys. I'd love to read more about yours. Emma

I use the Flash-n-go myself. I have been using it everywhere except my face, but started doing that as well in the past month. It's too soon to know how effective it is on my face, but everywhere else it's been pretty effective. (I had started electrolysis previously, but that was too expensive after a few sessions)