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I have met one, that's it.

Dont really feel like making a whole blog post about it but I'm not really doing the greatest. I'm five seconds away from committing myself, I'm THAT serious about doing something I might regret. I have ceased my communication with my best friend because my bipolar mood swing bullsh*t has gotten so out of hand that I'm continuesly upsetting her or fighting with her, so I decided it was best to just stop talking to her altogether. I've also deactivated my facebook account because it feels like every 'friend' I have on there is fake and only cares about the latest gossip and not wether or not I'm legitametly okay or not. So what's the point? I dont talk to anyone, I dont visit anyone, and no one does the same for me. So there's no f*cking point in attempting to. I'm done. I'm done attempting to help other people and I'm done making the effort to talk to others when the bottom line is that they just dont give a sh*t if I were here every day or if I was dead. They'd move on to the next bit of drama and forget my very existance. I simply dont give a sh*t anymore. Surgery isnt happening, yet the bruising/rashes/backpain/agony/dysphoria persists. Basically been told flat out that the insurance company doesnt give a sh*t if its mentally and emotionally damaging for me to have them, as well as causing me every day pain. They just dont give a f*ck. So why should I? After a while, people just get really tired of being tired. They get really sick of feeling sick. And theyre just really f*cking done with fighting. Warren

The skin color in my family isn't an issue, but I sometimes fear my mother's response which comes over very harsh at times. Heaven help a 72 year old woman.

There's no other surgeons around here who will do it without hormones. He's not sure on doing full removal because of my weight. Says it won't look natural.basically saying I need fucking manboobs to look normal- _- he was extremely cooperative and never once called me a girl. Would say things like "theoretically if you were female, your bra size would be....?" So he was very respectful ans I like him. He's trying to find a way for insurance to help, and they won't if it's full removal. That's why he doesn't want to do full removal. As for the suicide thing- -- I've tried a total of 8 times since age 14. Think I understand by now the impact.

​My first thought is, if you had cancer they would remove them right? If that is your only option how much reduction would they do? Not enough to make it worth it.

​My first thought is, if you had cancer they would remove them right? If that is your only option how much reduction would they do?