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Seeing that I have the time on my hands let make this one clear. For 5 days out of the month, I am on a lower dosage of estrogen, and it kinda makes me cranky as hell. Reason being is that I have decided to go the medically induced period cycle, and I know it is motha of all hell pain cramps, because I've always had these cramps from my 9th birthday. Some months it's good and I'm just cranky as hell. Other months it is so bad, I cramp and start crying from the pain. But I know it is now in tune with my body cycle and I will just have to deal with the cramps, being pissy to people, crying for no apparent reason, and being needy over those days. Oooh don't let me go into the don't touch me mode. Then not even Thor with all his strength will be immortal, as I will crush his spirit into a painful mere mortal death. What does this mean for me as in a whole with a relationship??? Okay, it's the first time we together and this cycle has come, so I warned him of the possible side effects. Yes, FX is on. What I believe and what Jazz's mom tells her in I am Jazz is right. Be honest about who you are, because there are evil people out there. And her parent's are constantly worrying about her ever finding love with a guy or girl that respects her. I also hope that she gets what she needs in life, and I hope that for me too. Would it have been easier if I was medically inducing my periods from a young age like Jazz, maybe. But on the other side, I would not have known that people can be so cruel because they don't understand the changes we as transgender persons have to endure just to feel whole. But I also hope that the earlier changes for the young teenagers are going to put them on a more level playing ground with the rest of the world. My cramps and my pms, on the other end of the scale is unique. As I don't think many transgender females naturally produced so much estrogen like I did which put me on an advantage to feel body changes on the inside that others had to wait to experience... Okay I struggled to grow breast, am still on only an A cup and at least the cups are the fuller A's then the partial A's they were. But I also knew that I would end up here. Because my family has breast sizes ranging from A cup to FFF Cups. The ones with the big breast are also the idiots in my family. I stood in the line for more smarts then a voluptuous body. No I am not saying that big breast and blonds are idiots by nature, only the big breasted women in my family are idiots. And they think that sex sells and men will do anything just because of some breast and giving them the cookie jar. I love that I can still creatively thing of names for things that would just sound to crude at any given moment. Okay, the last thing about me being on the period cycle of hormones are, I want my body to simulate a natural female body with hormones and in doing so assist with the development I am going through. And it has made a big difference from the 18 months of straight hormone high to period cycle. I have developed more, and it has kept my migraines more at bay. To all have a good day. Be safe, and think before you do. I have discussed this before I did it. Cheers for now Michele with love

Following on from my previous entry whilst on holiday, we had a day out in southern Belgium, now most towns in the Ardennes have a castle, a church, a river, and a WW2 Tank (normally a US Sherman, although Houfalize has a German Panther but no castle!). La Roche en Ardenne must be a more important town than most as it has two tanks - a British Achilles Mk10 tank destroyer and a US Sherman, it's where UK and US forces met when pushing back the Germans during the Battle of the Bulge. But an even more important sign of the towns importance was the Bunting along the main street, it was made up entirely of bras, there was also a display on the town hall too. After walking around the town, we had a meal in an Ardennais restaurant, well if we have gone all that way, we want to sample the local food, rather than international food. We had Civet de Marcassin which is wild boar stew, and if you've never tasted wild boar and you like meat generally, you've missed out! Anyway photo's are of the bra bunting, I was amazed at it...............& of the WW2 reminders. Cheers, Eve

I started by wearing casual things around the house, jeans, androgynous tops, non-descript sneakers, etc. As I became more comfortable, I began to wear these same clothes out shopping. No one knew the difference. I was comfortable in clothes that fit so I wore them. Wasn't long before I added a wig, breast forms and makeup, purse. Soon the jeans became a bit more obvious as I wore jeans with designs on the back pockets and more colorful tops. I'm very comfortable going out shopping and running errands in casual clothes. When I have an appointment or interview, I wear a dress or skirt and sweater. Although I am in mid-transition, I don't feel male or want to appear male at all. I am a woman now and will live everyday as myself. Enjoy your journey as you become more comfortable with yourself. Others will accept you for who you truly are. Hugs, Alana

So the thoughts and feelings when sleep is difficult seem to happen whichever set of plumbing one is equipped with.