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I sometimes think that somethings get lost between the boards of US and UK English, but just for the record, I do know that magic isn't real, and that magic pills don't exist Maybe this is why I had difficulty when I had my first computer, and I was totally lost, trying to comprehend what Windows 95 menus actually meant in reality? However the gaps between the planks seem to be getting narrower as time passes............... Hugs from within the tower of babel, Eve

What I said was if there was "anti-trans" pill , when this all started for me last year I would have taken it in a heartbeat. But today there's noway you could make to take one. There is no way you could force it down my throat. Hugs, Dawn

LOL, yes Monica, of course I was joking, Dawn referred to a magic pill that could un-trans her! Eve x

Eve, are you joking? (I hope so!) Do anti-trans pills exist? What kind of doctor would prescribe them? Think they should lose their medical license, if you are serious! Monica

​Well yes, I think you're right passing is a bit like hiding something really, when I come to think of it. I've hidden something for such a long time in my life, to know it's not at all nice keeping a secret. I guess that it's also a case of not having to worry at the back of your mind, you can be open and your true self. Fact is most people don't react negatively to me being transgender, if anything quite the opposite................

Dawn, that's an absolutely awesome entry, it's not often that I hear so much happiness in a blog. I see so many similarities with myself. I truly feel the same way about the anti-trans pills....ugh horrible thought ! I was also 55 when I ditched my shame, and started to become myself, and there's no way on earth that I'm going back to be male, female is ssoooo much better, like coming out of a monochrome world and entering a technocolour world. Hugs Eve x

Woohoo, that is wonderful, what a year you had

Christie, and Emma , I am so very grateful I did get to hear those wonderful word "oh sound like you may be transgender" As I too lived in total shame. Along with self loathing and hated and many other negative thoughts, before I heard those beautiful words. I just wish I could of heard them at age 24 , instead of 54 . None the less I will take it, better late than never. As I am alive for the first time in my life, feeling better than I ever have in my life. And I feel this good and I've not even started HRT yet!! Hugs, Dawn

Dawn, What a wonderful year! Like Emma I wish I had a therapist say that to me at some point - but once I said it to myself I experienced the same general feeling, really almost immediate elation. I haven't stopped anti-depressants yet, but probably soon. I look forward to hearing about your ongoing progress xoxo Christie

Dear Dawn, I love your post; it really speaks to me. I wonder what my life might have been like if a therapist had said those words to me, too. I was so ashamed of my feelings for so many decades... I was even afraid to admit my feelings to a therapist! Which seems stupid now, but my shame was in control. No more, no more. Anyway, you deserve such accolades for what you have accomplished. Good for you. I hope we hear from you more often! hugs, Emma