Leaderboard

It is really easy to fool the brain through the eyes. Some of us are more susceptible than others, like when we were watching the movie The Saint I think it was with Val Kilmer, who was playing some kind of spy or something (this was a while ago) and kept having dramatically different looks, in some scenes I couldn't pick out where he was hiding in the crowd until he did something to draw the attention even though he was one of my favorite actors.

I had my nails gelled for months, but I have to warn that although at first I had beautiful girly nails, the continual coating of my nails eventually made them very weak, and ruined them, after a friends advice I then used OPI nail envy, (strengthener) for sensitive and peeling nails (the orange labelled one), well that initially helped, then it made my nails peel or de-laminate if your prefer, so I now don't put anything on my nails, they need a rest and fresh air. Now if anyone else has a sure fire remedy for nice strong nails, I'd be very interested in trying it, but also very wary of it.

Very pretty nails, Karen! I love how they look and I'll bet you feel marvelous when you notice them.

Thank you so much both of you! It's so confusing in some ways, and being attention deficit disorder, confusion is a strange thing for me. I have trouble with it. IN one sense I'm always slightly confused because I think differently in day to day decisions than people without the disorder and that ignites the stress component, similar I think to something trangender people feel when they realize they are out of step with themselves. Mine is external, but disorienting to me. My values aren't touched, but that creates a weird thing with me that big things are easier to handle in general and trying to decide what i want to eat for lunch is nearly a paralyzing issue that I face every day with Nikki as I'm an unfortunately picky eater who failed to overcome that and he just wants me to tell him what I want to eat and I can't. But conversely, I have spend so much of my life trying to avoid external confusion that it's hard to sort through so much of this and really understand as much as I'd like to and have to let time take it's course. Now the little paralytic decisions that i usually try to ignore to not make myself nuts have to be looked over and sorted out. And realizing I can't ask him to figure out and control his depression and learn to understand his disphoria and how ti's going to affect our lives if I'm not dealing with my dismophia and how it's affecting our lives, so I'm trying to work through both identifying his new (to me) needs and who he is and how to meet them, and also what mine really are under the dismorphia and what i need from him and how to balance the two disorders so that everyone is getting healthier. I truly believe I make this as much more complicated as i make it easier for him. LOL Steph, I think you are giving me WAY more credit than i deserve. I've been somewhat helpful to him in the arenas I'm good at, hair care, skin care(oh, I can never moan about my stupid skin's ability to flip out on me without warning enough), female hair removal for consideration(I'm SUPER excited, I've had him try a variety of things and last night's attempt he really seemed to like, GO VENUS RAZORS! I got it right!), emotional care, but I'm crap with dressing. In fact, I sorta turned mine over to NIkki. *hangs head in shame* I suck that bad at it. One of our conversations was prompted by my reading through forums and running into a 'I hate when cis girls waste having what I want so bad' threads, that sent me into a tailspin of omg I'm totally not the right kind of female for Nikki and he resents me and whatever that 'trying' is people say I"m not doing must be a real thing and he had to calm me down from that. I'm one of those quit shaving years ago no makeup I just wanna be comfy types of girls, I fess up. Shopping pokes my dismorphia hard, and the minute I open up a store online or walk into one I immediately just want to get the bare minimum I need because my brain tells me nothing I do will make me look appealing and just grab and get out of here RIGHT NOW. I'm working hard on that, and asking Nikki to take over and shop with me both so that I can 'shadow' for him (I hate that beard term!) and so he can guide me and give objective appearance improvement. Since I have no self-judgement in this arena, turning to Nikki and actually wearing the 'look at me' clothes he likes instead of trying to be invisible is a huge break through for me. I do rock a wicked understanding of tights thought apparently. And I'm pushing past my natural comfort zones, I will NEVER ask Nikki to face his and not do the same for him. Now this rower better do something about the awkward shape of my thighs as I slowly shrink so I can wear thigh highs like his, he expressed a desire to see that. I have a really weird body shape that nothing clothing wise works exactly like it's supposed to, and it's garter belts or thigh highs around my ankles and I fall on my face for me. They stay on him! He has better legs.

Hi Bree, I think you and Nikki are touching on some very important considerations, such as, when you're imagining yourself as a woman what does that mean? On another blog (outside TGG) I recently read a trans woman's saying that we can never really know what it feels to be a woman. Sure, I agree with that. But it's just like I can never really know what is going on in anyone's mind, feelings, psyche. It's like if I look at a red dress and you look at it too, we both call it "red" but do we see the same color? We will never know. I can't speak for Nikki of course, but I imagine that she's like all of us: we just want to be comfortable in our own skin. And if that means wearing feminine clothing and breast forms while going about our chores that's fine. Or at least it should be. Like so many things that easy to say. And maybe with acceptance and experience she will know more at the core of her being what this all means to her. About your sexuality, wow, I'm the same way as Nikki. I very much prefer and need to be the submissive partner. Active, yes, but not the aggressor. And that causes problems for my wife and me as she really wants the tables to be turned. That's a tough one to work out, I know all too well. I think it's terrific that you're both talking. That's the most important thing. Keep talking, keep sharing, and keep enjoying each other. Hugs, Emma

I will once I get confirmation from Nikki that the items will work with my hernia! I've had a few clothing surprised there, and with money being tight I want to have a better unbaised degree of certainty that I'll be able to wear it instead of putting it on once, OUCH< and tossing it in the closet. Well, at least there is the I can give it to Nikki option now until his weight loss way skyrockets past mine when that happens.

I think it's utterly delightful that you're finding things you like. Go ahead and order them, girl! Enjoy yourself! I'd be willing to bet that Nikki'd be delighted too to see you having some fun.

I love that comment by your therapist and hope you're listening to emma more. we need her, but so do you.

well, I'm so glad I told you my thoughts and that I've had a chance to get to know you a little here.

I see you, with all your strengths and flaws, and I understand, and I am so glad you are my friend. *Hugs*

you look marvelous, and that's the least interesting thing about you.

Hiya Briannah. You and Nikki have it seems, come a very long way, in a very short space of time. Something, You can Both be Very Proud of. I Am Very Happy that We have become Friend's, here on TGGuide. Nikki is so lucky to have a Lovely Understanding Young Wife in You - Briannah. My Own Wife, hates Me being Transsexual, although She has been cheating on Me, for over 2 Year's, with Different Men, and Different Women. Briannah, You and Nikki are Both Very Special People, the fact that You are taking the time to understand each other's Needs, Both Emotionally, and Physically. Briannah, I obviously Know from Personal Experience, that Transitioning is Not Easy, but, I Am Lucky, that My Friend's are sticking by Me. I hope that Your Friend's stick by You Both, as Kindness is something that You - Briannah, and Nikki, Both deserve. I have been Fully; Full-Time Female Living, for 9 1/2 Month's now, and I Love My Pretty Female Undies; Clothes; And, Nightwear. Nikki is very lucky that You are able to give Him Help and Guidance, with His Female-Dressing. ( I have had No Help with Mine ! ). Briannah, I wish Only Great thing's for Yourself and Nikki. Please remember that I Am here for You Both, should You Wish To, Or Need To Talk. Enjoy the rest of the Day, and You Know that I Am here. Good Health, Take Care, And My Very Best Wishes to You Both. With Love and Hugs, Stephanie. xxxx