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The thing about blogs is they don't have to be all sunshine and light. Sometimes showing our pain, frustrations, and rage can be just as critical to let people know they are not alone struggling with these things. When everything from others is all light and happy, and our lives are painful, it can be very isolating. But seeing others with the struggles can give a sense of unity and strength. Blog or don't blog according to your hearts needs. We're all here to explore our personal truths and sometimes truth is a soft plushie, but sometimes it's a nine bladed knife.

A few things that come to mind with humor. You can (or should not) go into a bar without a companionFemales include you in their secret chit-chats (that's why I transitioned, just for that)Make sure to read the restroom sign (ooooops I made that mistake already, got some looks)Female products have a "Woman Tax"Pany liners uugYou start noticing things like oh, my legs look crappy, exfoliating timeStay way from Victoria's Secret's, you can pass by one and not buy a new bra, panties, lotions etc.Panties rubbing against private parts may cause unexpected O's that will not stopIt's more difficult to shave underarms with real breast.You will put a thong on backwards at least onceShoe purchases increase, you need a room for all your shoes so you kick your son out to do this (only kidding, gave him two months)It may not seem like it but dilation is crap at first but gets better and less frequent. The real thing is a better way to dilate Larger than a 34B cup bras come in less colors (damit), stores seem to cater to 34B more than 36C.It will become more and more apparent "It's a man's world"Dating becomes (at least for me) easier but also you get to see things through a mirror.You now love to listen to Katy PerryClothing and shoes, at home becomes optionalYou enjoy Tofu and fruit cakeToilet seats seem less cold (yeah right)Toilet paper, can't be without it now. I keep a roll in my car and wipes in my handbagYour journey is finished, far from it.The ride is more enjoyable through life.Miss something from your former life (penis envy haha), there are strap ons for you.I am sure there are many more things I have not thought about.

So, for various reasons, I've decided to take a semi-perminate break from blogging. I just have nothing positive going on in my life right now and I dont want every single blog post I put up to be negativity and venting. I'm just.....tired. Nothing I say is right anymore, and somehow I always seem to anger someone. Last night I was basically yelled at for my blog post being insensitive and rude and it severely made someone mad at me, and later it was brought to my attention that I swear way too much. (Which is true, I wont lie. No hard feelings, I know I had WAY too many swears in there. It's cool, no worries.) I was requested to take some swears out, which I totally would have done but I decided I didnt like the entire post so I got rid of it. I just...need to take a break. I just dont feel that any of my blogs are productive or encouraging to the transgender community anymore. Seems like any attempt I make to patch things up with people only make them more angry. My offer to forget about the release form thing for the book, out of nothing more than non-hostile or insulting manners, came off as rude and pig headed so now that person is all mad at me again. I just...I cant do anything right. I bought new shoes and stuff for my brother because he didnt have any, but it made him upset that I was buying things for him. I bought a stuffed toy for someone who's sick to make them feel better, and got a lecture about spending money. I tried to make food for someone because they were hungry, and all they did was say it was disgusting and made them sick. I'm just so sick of trying... Maybe when...if....something good ever happens, I'll start writing again. For now, I think I'll just go back to my dark corner and stay quiet. Stuck in a rut, Ren

Sorry Bluemoon

ren, I wrote a fairly long response in support of your courage, directness, and self-awareness in your previous post, but I guess it disappeared when you deleted the post, apparently just as I was writing or submitting it.

Sorry to hear how life has been for you, hoping things will get better over time.