For what it's worth, I think showing a 'whole person' in these journals is as important as just discussing trans issues. It's really easy to get confused as a reader and think "If you/your spouse has this, is that ALL there is? Does it take over the entire life?" So it's lovely to see the whole person kinda post. I'm sorry you are in the same place Nikki and I are workwise, a bad job just drains out the energy and joy from a person. What works for us is enjoying home life with a vengeance at the end of the day! Is it as ideal as finding different jobs? No, but it helps. Even little things like our scented wax warmer making a good smell while we relax doing something we enjoy goes a long way to restoring the inner selves. I'm so sorry about your loss, cycles of life can be really painful. BIg hugs. I wish you the best of luck in pursuing your career, and we can't control the doors that close, all we can do is walk through the other ones that open with open minds and try to get the most out of what lies beyond!